In my Eminem (the rapper) voice, “Will the real men please stand up?” Then watch all of the men stand up. But what is the definition of a man? Rappers, Salt n Pepa wrote a song about it years ago. One verse says:
My man is smooth like Barry, and his voice got bass
A body like Arnold with a Denzel face
He's smart like a doctor with a real good rep
And when he comes home he's relaxed with Pep
He always got a gift for me every time I see him
A lot of snot-nosed ex-flames couldn't be him
He never ran a corny line once to me yet
So I give him stuff that he'll never forget
He keeps me on Cloud Nine just like the Temps
He's not a fake wannabe tryin' to be a pimp
He dresses like a dapper don, but even in jeans
He's a God-sent original, the man of my dreams
This man, in the lyrics, is of course the dream man. Not all will fall into this description, but it gives men some guidelines to strive for.
In the real world, it is so very simple to be a man and spot one out, yet many choose the boy route as strange as that sounds. Let me point out a few good men to you, who you may have seen, but do not know by name.
1. The man on the bus who stands for long periods of time, after he has completed a grueling shift at work, because there are women with babies and the elderly aboard that needed his seat.
2. The man who held the door, even though you were not on his heels.
3. The man who stopped the kids from fighting and made sure that the victim got to safety.
4. The man who could not make his relationship work with his kids’ mother, but refuse to let that stop him from doing and vacationing with his children.
5. The man who refused to allow friends, family, or another woman to disrespect his home.
6. The man who will not allow his mother to need anything that he is able to share or afford.
7. The man who refuses to spend money on name brand products or unnecessary expenses, when he knows that his family needs his entire check to survive.
8. The man who had unprotected sex with a woman, whom he knows was impregnated by another, yet, he takes care of this child and never shares his knowledge of their lack of genetic connection.
9. The man who eats last if at all, if his children are at the table still hungry.
10. Lastly the man who knows that he must lead by example, so he wears a belt daily around his waist, a tie, whenever possible, clothes that fit him properly and words that never offend. He speaks sure and clear. He makes a point to be cordial and respectful and reads at least one book every year. He watches the news in the meantime, to stay current and aware and to participate in conversations with others.
“Manning UP” means to be the loner, if you have to be the only person to do what’s right. Some women claim they can do any and every thing -- and that is fine -- but a man must still do HIS job. He must never take a back seat. He is the police in his own right. He should always serve and protect the women and children at all times - not beat them or abuse them. A man should act in a way that is exemplary to all. Men should conduct themselves in a manner where their logic is undeniable. You create such an admiration for all who are around you to the point that people will want to be like you! It is contagious. You can make being a man look so smooth that everyone will be dying to be a real man, just like you!
A real man distances himself from the boys masquerading as men. They participate in Father’s Day activities every day. They don’t wait around for Hallmark to mark their calendar up with barbecues and celebratory gatherings, often without their children in tow! No, a real man stays at home and barbecues for his family on that day. He will be in the backyard where no one can see him, except for his children who splash in the pool and think that after he’s opened up their original construction paper cards, that he’s SUPPOSED to stand over the hot grill on a 90 degree day to barbecue for THEM! Why? Because, he loves them and he doesn’t need to impress anyone else but them! So, if barbecue after the pool is what makes them happy, he’s going to do it and for as long as possible! He will relish in this precious one on- one time with his future, while he can…
A real man has something to smile about.
Writer’s Name: Dominique Wilkins
Title: A REAL Man