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A Remarkable Woman

9/27/2012

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Date: O9/22/2012
Writer’s Name: 0rnitha Danielle
Title: A Remarkable Woman


The things that this woman taught and instilled in me made me who I am today.  She was a strong, Christian, black woman, and a single mother raising three children on her own.  I witnessed the heartaches, the tears, and the setbacks, but yet she continued to fight and was very determined to bring us the best.  She had a reason to strive for much more although the odds were against her; she did it for her children. This person is my mother.  

She was talked about by her siblings for raising us to be strong, educated, and respectful.  Looking back on it now, none of my mother’s children, my siblings have been in trouble with the law; we never did any time or been any type of menace to this society.  You know, the type that you hear people say that will shame and make their mother’s cry.  At times when I was growing up, she spoke of a foreign language which was indeed English which I knew fluently, but I opted not to hear. The words she spoke, I didn’t understand nor did I care to understand.  The older I became, I felt more of a foreigner in my own home around my family.  As a strong, educated black woman, I appreciate the struggle and learning to deal with the hand that was dealt to me, when it was issued.

When   I think of this remarkable woman, she exemplifies in Biblical terms “The Proverbs 31 Woman.” I can honestly say that everything that was shown to me while under her roof prepared me for womanhood.  She did what she considered or thought was the best for her family. I’m not saying that every decision that was made by her did I understand. But no matter what, my mother still retained unconditional love for me as her child.  Only God knew that this woman would be the remarkable woman I needed and would pattern myself after today.  As our mother & daughter relationship became very strained, I was always reminded of what, how, and why she’d done the things she had done. Filled with hatred, bitterness and unforgiveness towards her, I was very much wrong in the eyes of God.  How can I ask Him to forgive me, but I couldn’t forgive her?   

We all make mistakes and need to stop holding grudges. Just thinking of the times I had made her cry for being difficult at times upsets me.  I am learning and have to come to an understanding that I will only have one mother and that neither of us came into this world with instructional manuals (i.e. “How to deal with a TEENAGER or a Daughter” or  “How to deal with an Alien Mother”).  Through it all, my mother is indeed a Remarkable Woman.  As for me I’ve instilled and taught my children some of the same values that were taught to me along the way.  So many women need to instill some precious values into the lives of our young women of tomorrow.


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Signs

9/27/2012

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Date:  9/24/2012
Author:  JC Gardner
Title:
Signs



How often in our life do we ignore the warning signs that come to us in the still of the night or that calm voice that whispers to our spirit about a situation or a circumstance?  Our own will and what we desire is so strong that it tends to overpower our internal compass, which has our best interest at heart and is designed to steer us in the right direction.

It takes a lot of discipline and wisdom to sit back, observe, and smell the roses. We’d rather just get in the garden and start digging and planting and before you know it, we’re stuck in the sticky weeds because we could not wait for that spiritual guidance and direction.  

Going down our own pathway is not always a bad thing. God’s grace surrounds and protects us, in spite of ourselves. But imagine how much better life could be if we really took the time to reflect on our circumstances vs. going immediately into “fix-it” mode, putting our own seasoning in the pot whether it  helped enhance the flavor or made it worse.

More days than not, I find myself reacting to a problem or situation and later on, when I finally settle down, I know there was a better way to handle it; however, I didn’t allow myself any quiet space to deal with it.  In most cases, the solutions are acceptable; truthfully, most of the time our lifestyle does not allow for this, so we are just constantly in “get it done” mode by any means necessary.  

Two years ago, I participated on an interview committee for a position in a department that is on my radar to work for some day.  While interviewing the candidates, I had such a strong feeling that I needed to excuse myself from the committee and apply for the job myself.  The feeling was so overwhelming, that I even mentioned it to the panel and was told, “yes,” they would love for me to apply.  Well I didn’t.

The reason was because I had placed my loyalties toward my supervisor a priority at the time.  He and I had such an awesome working relationship and my concern was for him “surviving” without having my valued support. A noble deed, yes, but at what price?

Now barely two years later, work life for him became complicated and he moved on to a different external position, but I’m still here.  My whole division has changed and it has been a very difficult transition for me.

I often think back to that time and reflect on why I chose to ignore that still, small voice that I believe knew what was ahead.  Once again, my eyes were on a different prize, making someone else happy and not my own well- being.  

As women, most of us are naturally nurturing.  We try to fix things and will go out on a limb to make everyone else happy; and with what’s leftover, that’s what we use to take care of ourselves. If that is the case, don’t make it harder than it has to be by making hasty decisions.  If you don’t take care of yourself, then you can’t effectively help others. Find that quiet space, that closet or that room where it is just you and the Lord. Be still. And listen.

Proverbs 3:5-6: says: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.


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Obesity: The Beast of the Present and Future

9/27/2012

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Date: 9/24/2012
Writer’s Name:  S.F. Hardy
Title: Obesity: The Beast of the Present and Future



As if battling my own personal weight issues wasn’t enough already, obesity hits closer to home on a grander scale, as it was recently reported that Michigan ranks in the top ten in the nation for obesity. In fact, Michigan holds the fifth spot nationally for individuals who are overweight.

No age group seems to be exempt, as adults, teens and children alike make up these unhealthy numbers.  If something is not done to reverse this harmful trend, Trust for America's Health and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation emphasizes “Nearly 60 percent of Michigan residents could be obese by 2030 and health care costs could soar.” The implications of obesity as we may know leads to greater health risk such: as coronary heart disease, stroke, hypertension, cancers related to obesity, diabetes and more, which will only serve to inflate health care cost.

Detroit predominately comprised of African Americans suffers greatly from obesity. Although one wouldn’t be able to tell by the mass quantities of garments sold by Metro Detroit retailers, for what seems like only small people, just 3 short years ago Detroit was ranked the 27th fattest city in Men’s Health Magazine. To those who live and work in the city, this may not come to a surprise as there are a plethora of McDonalds, Coney Islands and other fast-food restaurants throughout the city, compounded with a surplus of individuals who rarely engage in physical activity and exercise. This adds to the reasoning behind why Detroit is being listed as one the nations fattest areas.

A survey by the Center for Disease Control reveals that “almost 20 percent of Detroit students are obese.” Unhealthy dietary practices and physical inactivity are cited as the main culprits. The study ultimately divulges that more emphasis should be placed on preventative measures in addition to corrective actions. We most definitely need to focus on physical activity and dietary education for our young folks! It is imperative in order to halt the predicted future of obesity. If not, children will carry on with these practices, which they most likely learned from their respective environments into adult hood. The risk that they pass on to the next generation is far greater than not!

Another study reported in The Detroit Free Press largely blames, soda or pop depending on what region you dwell adding  “sugary drinks cause people to pack on the pounds, independent of other unhealthy behavior, such as overeating and getting too little exercise, scientists say.”

While it is easy for some to offer what they consider to be simple solutions for losing weight, the reality is very much complex and intertwined. Some of us are genetically predisposed to obesity, while others find it very difficult if not impossible to change their lifestyle in order to gain a healthy weight status.
With our busy lifestyles and shortage of time, we are often tempted by fast food, in spite of our knowledge of the potential dangers as well as the lack of nutrition it provides. Work and school takes up a great deal of our time, so squeezing in a work out seems impossible. However, most trainers will advise working harder during the workout is more beneficial than working out longer.

Starving oneself is not an option in the weight loss battle either. Starvation is rather counterproductive because when one does not eat the body begins to react as if you are ill and holds on to the fat rather than release it, so to speak.

I’m not sure what the correlation is if any to obesity, but Detroit is making strides to become a healthier city. The city has recently implemented bike lanes throughout the city proper and has also added bike as well as walking trails such as the revered River Walk and Dequindre Cut through the heart of the city. Walkers and bikers can also enjoy Palmer Park as well as Belle Isle.

Weight loss and healthy living are possible with planning and realistic goals. Sure, it will take some time getting adjusted in the beginning but eventually you will begin to see results and your new lifestyle will become like second nature. Plan meals ahead, pre-bag fruits and snacks so that they can be grabbed on the go. Substitute flavored beverages for water. I find drinking room temperature water easier to swallow. If you must have flavoring, add a drop or two of lemon to your water. Exercise around your other obligations. Notice the operative word “obligation;” your health as well as the way you view yourself is just as important as anything else you do! Also, consider support groups, aside from engaging with others who face similar obstacles; the benefits normally include recipes and techniques to help you on your journey to shedding the pounds and becoming healthier.



Fiery Fish Tacos with Crunchy Corn Salsa

(taken from http://allrecipes.com/recipe/fiery-fish-tacos-with-crunchy-corn-salsa/Detail.aspx?src=lp4107_l1)

Directions

1.       Preheat grill for high heat.

2.       In a medium bowl, mix together corn, red onion, jicama, red bell pepper, and cilantro. Stir in lime juice and zest.

3.       In a small bowl, combine cayenne pepper, ground black pepper, and salt. Brush each fillet with olive oil, and sprinkle with spices.

4.       Arrange fillets on grill grate, and cook for 3 minutes per side. For each fiery fish taco, top two corn tortillas with fish, sour cream, and corn salsa.


References
http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/yrbs/pdf/obesity/detroit_obesity_combo.pdf

http://www.freep.com/article/20120922/NEWS07/309220094/Obesity-study-points-more-fingers-at-pop

http://www.menshealth.com/fattestcities2010/

http://healthyamericans.org/report/100/


For Tasty but Healthy Eating

http://www.skinnygirlcocktails.com/you-must-be-21-or-over-to-enter

http://www.hungry-girl.com/

http://allrecipes.com/recipes/healthy-recipes/

http://www.cookinglight.com/


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Boys to Men

9/27/2012

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Date: September 24, 2012
Writer’s Name: Charlotte Marshall Templeman
Title: Boys to Men
   

Across this country in many urban cities there are little African American boys growing up too fast. Many are being raised in single parent homes without the guidance of a strong man to direct them; so ultimately they turn to other resources to learn how to be men.  Unfortunately what they are learning is not correct and thus they become mis-educated on what makes a boy a man. When this happens we have a generation of boys committing crimes, dropping out of high school and becoming incarcerated.  How do we save them?
   

Recently in Philadelphia there was an altercation on the subway system which led to the shootings of two innocent young people. The perpetrator got into a fight with another young man and fired his gun into a subway filled with students coming home from school. According to the news, the argument was between two high school rival gangs. Of course this caused mayhem on the public transit system which at the time was at the peak of many students riding it home. For several days the police searched for this person and eventually he turned himself in under the guidance of his parent.

The incident was a sad but all too common reality of what many young people face today in our urban cities. However, what is even sadder is the perpetrator was a fifteen year old young man. Since he has been in custody it has been learned that he will be charged as an adult and he faces many charges. His bail was set at a million dollars, so we all know he still sits in prison.  As I watched the news and listened to the story I wondered where it went wrong for him. When did he decide that life the wrong way was the right way? Unfortunately because of his behavior he will more than likely spend many years in jail. It saddens me because no one knows what this young man could have become, but now we will never know.

As I walk within my community I often see many young men standing around doing nothing. Attending school is for nerds they think and education is something not needed. Most feel that making fast money takes precedence over getting an education. For those that do attend school, they feel they have to be the student who takes education lightly. This is seen by those who cut class, are the class clown or the disrespectful student who makes it hard for anyone else to learn. Ultimately the young man will become not only a menace to his school community but to his home community as well. When this happens we have incidents like the one which occurred on the subway that resulted in a young man whose life will forever be changed by his actions and the two victims who have to live with their injuries.
   
Some African American boys have declared war on other black boys. We see often in the news that they are dying rapidly at the hands of each other. If this behavior continues within our communities who will be left to become men and father children in order for us as a people to not become obsolete? Young black boys have to realize that committing genocide on each other will eventually affect our existence. We have to teach them the importance from birth how valued and needed they are. Education has to be seen as a necessity and not an option in our homes. Instead of violent movies, video games and music videos playing, books in the home need to be present and read.  In conjunction to those things we have to surround our boys with positive role models. Young African American boys need to see black men taking care of their families, going to work every day, being respectful of one another and always embracing education and seeking knowledge.  This is imperative to the growth of our boys becoming men.  In order for us to have a place as a people on this earth for years to come we have to save our boys. They are the root to the existence of our race. Making a lifelong investment in them is assuring we will have a place on this earth for years to come.


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A Woman’s Worth

9/27/2012

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Date: 09/22/2012
Name: Donnell Hicks
Title: A Woman’s Worth


Ever since the dawn of humans two million years ago, women have been the cornerstone of keeping the households down for their husbands by taking care of the children, cooking, and making certain the household is flowing smoothly. During slavery and years following slavery, women were simply maids or cooks. Over the last 100 years, women have shown the strength and courage to withstand hardships. Women worked in factories alongside men, or were found handling their duties showing patriotism during the Revolutionary War, WWI, WWII, and the Civil Rights Movement of the fifties and sixties.

In ancient Egypt, women were beautiful Egyptian queens with power, finesse, and strength. Beginning with Egyptian queens such as Cleopatra, Nefertiti, Ashanti, and Queen Hasphut, they were radiant amid their glory. They were also intelligent enough to counteract their male foes during love and war. For example, Joan of Arc, a French queen disguised herself as a male warrior to help her country defeat the radicals from England. Later on, Joan of Arc was executed and later recognized as a martyr for the country of France.

From the ancient Egyptian queens in Africa to Joan of Arc, to the great queens of England, no other woman became brave enough to fight for women rights which would allow every woman in America to speak against oppression than our very own, Susan B. Anthony; she fought for the rights of every woman to have women vote in state and local elections. Susan B. Anthony started a national movement to protect women against workplace violence - a movement in the power of a woman’s worth. Then, Amelia Earhart who became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean, gave women and little girls hope, faith, and a chance to accomplish their dreams sixty years following her mysterious disappearance.

Afterwards, Angela Davis a former Black Panther and political activist was imprisoned for several years during the late sixties into the early seventies. Angela Davis stood against the bigotry, the intolerance, and the racism of the Jim Crow-era. Angela Davis fought for equal rights for all African-Americans - man or woman. Angela Davis defended what was right and shut down what was wrong in America; that is civil liberty for all African-Americans.

In the entertainment industry, African-American women broke the colored barriers beginning with actress Sara Vaughn becoming the first woman to be in films; blues and jazz singers Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald; the first African-American woman who became an aviator, Bessie Coleman; entrepreneur Madame CJ Walker; legendary singer/actress Lena Horne; actress Cicely Tyson; Motown singer Diana Ross; gospel singer Mahalia Jackson; Congresswoman Shirley Chisholm; and Oprah Winfrey and Civil Rights activists Dorothy Heights, Coretta Scott-King, and Rosa Parks. Every last woman who was mentioned brought respect, humility, and honor gracefully to make a way for all women and little girls in society to accomplish the title of being a woman’s worth. The inspiration and hope these women with finesse gave to every woman and little girls in the 21st century are truly cherished right now today.


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Vision is Possible without Sight

9/27/2012

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Date: 9/17/2012
Writer’s Name: S.F. Hardy
Title: Vision is Possible without Sight


One day some time ago Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. He didn’t dream for himself alone, he dreamed that conditions for all people would improve in the future - from the current state of oppression and the non-adhesiveness that was being displayed in the “United States” to a country and place that embodied a sense of  unity and peace. His dream of equality, desegregation and unification was not even close to the reality of the mind’s eye. His dream would one day come to fruition but not without the doubt of those who didn’t share his vision and most importantly those who did share his vision and found way through sacrifice and determination to see the vision through.

Vision and sight are polar opposites. To be able to see through one’s eyes is not the same as the vision of what is to come. Visions are dreams and goals that we as humans work at to achieve. Sight is what you see at the moment; vision supersedes the moment.

The concept of vision is easily misunderstood by many and it is often difficult to find others to share in your vision. It can be very discouraging to have visions that no one but one’s self buys into.  It is wondered if those who actually are deprived from dreaming while sleeping, are the same individuals who can be viewed as naysayers. It takes a great deal of courage to share one’s dreams and aspirations with others for fear of being shot down and perceived as silly. But if no one dreamed and thought outside of the box placed the world itself would not be as advanced as it is today.

Vision is a very important aspect of life. Just about every organization, be it, college, non-profit and for profit has a vision statement that supports their mission statement. The vision states what, where, and how each organization expects fulfill their respective purpose.

To have no vision is dangerous because it is almost synonymous with the lack of hope. When an individual or a group is lacking hope they have given up. To have vision speaks to the character of each individual. Furthermore, when there is nothing tangible to hold on to and all else has been taken away, hope and vision can be held onto and cultivated because they cannot be taken away.

Through tough times good visions will come to you if you let them. There are several quotes that support the idea of vision and can be viewed below. Remember don’t be afraid to dream. You can have as many visions as you want, act on them and you may become a pioneer based on your vision.  You will most likely help someone else with your dreams, so share and help others see their visions come true!


A closed mind is heavy, making takeoff difficult, if not impossible – vision, understanding and tolerance however, will take you as far as the open mind allows.
~S.F. Hardy

“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you’re riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!” ~Bob Marley 

“It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision.”  ~Helen Keller 

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” ~Carl Jung 


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Should I Have Let Sleeping Dogs Lie? You Be the Judge!

9/27/2012

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Date:  9/17/2012
Writer’s Name:  JC Gardner

Title: Should I Have Let Sleeping Dogs Lie? You Be the Judge!


Up until recently, I had not seen my biological father since I was four-years old. I distinctly remember him coming to my grandmother’s house in the Bronx (where I lived at the time) ducking his head to get into the door. He was tall, very athletic and very handsome. I sat in one of my granny’s easy chairs, swinging my feet looking at him, my nerves getting the best of me. I was quite intimidated; very shy. My granny asked, “Do you know who this is?” I nodded that I did. He glanced my way then continued talking to my granny. In a few minutes, he was gone. I guess I thought he should have shown me more affection – a hug or something. He never even sat down to talk to me, ask me about my little girl hopes and dreams. Never came by to take me out or call me on the phone to chat.  Just “poof.” Here one minute; gone the next.

By now, you’ve gathered that he and my mom were separated and eventually divorced. Seemed like he found it in his best interest to keep his distance. His mother would visit occasionally though. I resemble their side of the family a lot – tall, fair-skinned, top heavy (thanks grandma) and did I mention he’s from Jamaica? Yeah, my other heritage is West Indian. That explains my love of spicy food – okay, all food.

Remember, when I started this I was four? Fast forward to being seventeen-years old. For some reason, knowing he was alive and kickin’, I longed to talk to him. Guess I had a million questions, and even though I wasn’t important to him, I just couldn’t discard him like an old newspaper. I finally got a hold of his phone number (another long story – another time), and I called him. FIRST a woman answered the phone. Seemed a little shocked when I announced who I was. She put a man on the phone who demanded to know who I was. *sigh* Gosh, didn’t anybody know I existed? Anyway, I left a detailed message for my “daddy” to call me back. He didn’t. I called again a week later and, Shabam!, He answered the phone.

If you have ever ridden a roller coaster, do you know that feeling when your climbing high, way past the treetops and after a few seconds you’re like, “What the heck am I doing up here?” Then when you’re at the tippy-tippy top and you see that big drop, your heart is in your mouth and the adrenaline is pumping and has you a little freaked out but elated. That was me.

Finally, after thirteen years, I was about to have a conversation with my daddy. Wooohoooo! Right? WRONG!

After I established my identity, he flatly told me he didn’t have any money to give me and what did I want. I found my voice, which was a bit stifled from his reaction, and told him I just wanted to talk – to meet, maybe have lunch. Wasn’t he curious about me and how I looked? Didn’t he want to see me
after thirteen years? Dag, can we just be friends?

He was defensive, at times, belligerent. He said he had pictures of me and why isn’t that enough? Wow. Remember that roller coaster ride? During our conversation, I felt like I was falling fast without a harness or a parachute. My hopes for a storybook reunion were going down the drain and my feelings were beyond hurt. They were crushed! We eventually hung up, with him considering my invitation to go to lunch. He was to call me back.

The call never came. I was too damaged to call him back, trashed his number, and harbored a lot of ill will towards him.

Fast forward again to when I turned forty-seven, and I began an all-out search for this man again! I needed to do this to have some closure. It was just nagging me to no end that my father was probably alive and I didn’t know him. It bothered me that my children had a biological grandfather that was alive and neither knew about each other. So I started sending random letters with his name to people in the Bronx, NY and wouldn’t you know, I eventually struck gold!

To make a long story short, he called me, and we talked over the phone. He re-called nothing about that lunch date years ago. After several conversations, in the end, he came to visit me.

My father is like six foot three. That explains my son’s height of six foot six. He likes his jewelry – several gold chains and rings. But most interesting is that I resemble him A LOT. When my husband asked him point blank, “Are you happy to see Jackie after all these years?” His response was, “I’m here, aren’t I?” That should have been a hint to me about his personality, but it wasn’t.

His visit with me and the family was very telling and I have to tell you, it was disappointing. The entire time I was in NY with my mom, so was he. He was living his life and taking care of his other two daughters – my older half-sisters. He remarried for a third time, and he never bothered with me figuring I was better left alone.

The whole visit he talked about HIMSELF. But it irked me that we were literally in the same city for years and not once did he visit me. My father has an impeccable memory. He was recalling dates and times from way back. I told him how it crushed me that he did not respond to my lunch invite years ago. He claimed that conversation never happened and if it did, he had no recollection of it.

Never once during his visit did he say he was happy to see me or happy I found him.

Then, unbeknownst to me at the time, he had a private conversation with my son about women. Basically, he told him to make sure you use them before they use you and take what you can get from them; don’t trust any woman; don’t make any commitments.

Really? That is the grandfatherly advice you decide to dish out to your grandson you’ve never met before?

I was really crushed.  I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. So after he left, I wrote him a letter about my feelings – how I was abandoned by him, even though he was practically around the corner. And then that ridiculous conversation with my son. It was not a nice letter. No curse words but I blessed him out!

I called after about six months or so. Again, I decided “life is too short.” He now wants nothing to do with me. My letter was “nasty.” In his mind, I was wrong to write it. He “never” talked to my son like that. Hmmmm…. like we never were supposed to meet for lunch, right?

I tried to explain I was upset, but didn’t I have a right to be? I told him I forgive him. I’m over it, but he does not care. So now I’m kinda back to square one.

Should I have never searched for him? Even though I was angry over his visit, should I not have written the letter and let it go just to maintain a relationship? I wrestle with these thoughts every now and then, but what do you think? Should I have let sleeping dogs lie?


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The Three E’s of Putting Yourself First!

9/25/2012

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Name: Tamyara Brown
Title: The Three E’s of Putting Yourself First!
Date: September 17, 2012


Have you ever heard the saying a mother can't take care of her children if she is not taking care of herself? Whoever invented that statement must not have a large family and be a single parent. They must not live in my household at all. It's a practice I have long neglected - finding room and time to take care of me. It was taught and instilled in me that children come first and you’re always last on the list. I wake up every morning at 5 am preparing five sleepy heads for school, hearing the same words every day, "Mom can I have another ten minutes?; I don't know where my socks and shoes are. I'm not feeling well, my stomach hurts” -and my favorite -“I don't know where my book bag or my homework is.” Yes, my life is a run on sentence right at the crack of dawn.

My days and weeks are filled with cleaning up mess, helping with homework, stopping arguments, rooms not being clean, and their friends believing that my house is the only parent's house they should come to hang out and chill. I have three types of children living in my household - teenagers, preteen and boys. Can anyone reading this bow their heads and pray for me? Well one day I took inventory of myself and realized eventually my children will become adults and a whole life will have passed me by. I will sit and say, "Well dang, what can I do now that my children are adults?

Well I wrote a list and on the top of it stated that I was going to enjoy having my house to myself and enjoy the quiet, without a child asking, “Mommy, why is your booty shaking like jello?" Yes sir or ma'am that's number one. Secondly, I am going to just go out at the spur of the moment anywhere or anyplace not worrying about a babysitter. Now I'm excited just on the fact I can be naked without a child popping up or out of me. I live for that moment when it's 4:30 in the afternoon and I'm just chilling naked. I know, I know too much information but true.

I look at some of my friends who are older than I am whose children have moved out from the nest. It's like they have no clue what to do and how to do just for themselves. They are still interfering with their children's lives, inviting people to live with them and they have lost a sense of what they dreamed of a long time ago - being free. It's one of my fears to be sitting home just existing versus living out my golden years.

I have been a parent since I was eighteen-years old - if you count assisting my mom and raising my brother and sister, it would be even longer than that. I came to the conclusion I didn't want to sit around trying to figure out what to do with myself once my children flew from the coup and left the nest. I was going to have a plan for my golden years and enjoy life as much as possible.

So I go back to my beginning statement – I need to take care of myself so I can live versus existing. The statement of taking care of yourself isn't just being there for your children but also for yourself. You are an important factor. As I think back to the times when I have thrown me to the back burner whether it was going to the doctor, exercising or taking a mental break so I can be the best for my children. My day can be overwhelming at times but I have to remember I am important too. I deserve to be healthy, look good and feel good.

Come to find out my children feel the same way. They want their mother to take care of herself. They want me to have fun and enjoy life to the fullest. So these wonderful sometimes drive-me-crazy children did this long speech and a written contract for me. I had to make a commitment to do the three E's. Eat better, Exercise and enjoy myself. They wrote out a contract and had me sign on the dotted line. My cat Kiki put her paw print as a witness.

Mommies as hard as it can be to take care of yourself in all the hustle and bustle of being a parent you have to make yourself a priority. You benefit in the long run of doing the very best for you so you can be around not only for your children but yourself. I await the day when I'm sitting in the late afternoon with my cool drink, jazz music and laying on my couch in my sexy shorts. Then one of my adult children will walk in the door and ask, “Mommy why is your butt shaking like Jello." I'll laugh and realize that you will never stop being a parent. Live, Enjoy and Smile.

© 2012 Tamyara Brown- Tamluvstowrite


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The Significance of Recreational Sports for our Youth

9/24/2012

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Date: 09/16/2012
Name: Donnell Hicks   
Topic: The Significance of Recreational Sports for our Youth



With so much crime that is evident in society today, particularly in the urban inner cities in America, children are faced with major socioeconomic disenfranchisement such as high crime rates, drug infestation, broken homes, and violence within the public schools. One of the best ways a child/youth can combat those problems and their own personal struggles is to release the tension by taking up after school recreational sports like football, baseball, or join the cheerleading squad within their communities. 

Children/youth that devote their time, effort, and their energy into playing after school sports have a less chance of engaging in crime and are less prone to emotional drama in their lives, given the fact they’re devoting all their emotions into something that will be useful to their lives in the long run. In return, it’ll make the child/youth a better young woman and a better young man in society opposed to becoming a child/youth who isn’t involved in after school sports and is on the decline and at risk for engaging in violent crimes which will lead to either one of two places: jail or dead in the grave. 

When a child/youth is involved in after school recreational activities, they find themselves learning about their peers, cooperation and teamwork, self-discipline, and developing self-esteem for oneself. Being active in sports, a child/youth is aware they have two chances in life - either to take the right road to be a successful athlete or take the wrong road that will lead them astray.

Children/youth also become aware of their dreams as to what or who they want to be when they eventually grow up. For most afterschool sports programs, the only way a child/youth can remain an active participant is if their grades and behavior are satisfactory. The parents/coaches of these kids receive daily reports from the child/youth’s teachers relating to their behavior in the classroom or if they’re making an average grade to keep them on the right track. If they’re grades and behavior are not up to par, most likely they will be withdrawn from the program. More often than not, after school sports play an important role of keeping our youth on a straight narrow path from heading down the road of trouble. A child/youth must have guidance from other adults as role models - people whom they can look up to during their moment playing sports. 

Many parents support their children in becoming involved in after school sports for the reason that the child has become inspired and wants to become a football player, basketball player or a baseball player; many children see this as their chance to make it to the big leagues in order to help out their family members who are struggling financially. For most African-American parents, they believe their child who participates in sports will become a child with a positive attitude towards their school work.

After school recreational sports play a big part in the lives of African-American children in the urban communities. The majority of top athletes like NBA stars Dwayne Wade, Lebron James, Derrick Rose, and Tyson Chandler including NFL stars like Ray Lewis, Warren Sapp, Michael Vick, and Cam Newton started out as young children who had an undying appreciation for playing sports and engaging in physical activity. Every star athlete from the NBA and NFL will explain if it wasn’t for the game of basketball and football they wouldn’t be around today given the harsh communities they grew up in. This is the precise reason after school sports are so very important to African-American children.      


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Practice What You Preach

9/24/2012

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Date: September 15, 2012
Title:  Practice What You Preach
Writer’s Name: Ornitha Danielle





So many times we tell our children to behave and not to do things that will get them into trouble. How can we preach these things and we’re doing the very thing that we tell them not to do. For instance how can a mother tell her daughter not to have sex before marriage, but yet in still the mother is having a different guy in the house and wants to get mad when the daughter is acting just  the way she’s being taught?

Fathers are not getting off by a long shot. You tell your son to respect women, but yet and still you disrespect his mother, or any other woman that passes by talking under her clothes. We as parents indeed need to be very careful of the messages we send to our children. We are the very reason so many of them are acting like they have no earthly sense that God has given them.  

On the flip side of things, God tells us parents how we are to train our children in Proverbs 22:6 -“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” I can honestly say that when I got older I for one never forgot what my parents taught me about the word of God. My mother taught me whenever I got in trouble that I could call on the name of Jesus and He would be right there to answer me.

The Bible even tells us that in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”  Here in this text, we see clearly how God left great instructions on how we should conduct ourselves in this life. In Ephesians 5:22, the word says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”

God was telling us that the way we present ourselves to Him, we have to do the same thing to our spouse. We must thank God for another opportunity to get it right. Lord knows that I’m grateful. As people of God that were created in His image, we should do everything possible to please Him. If we stop trying to please man and please God we will be on the right track for starters.

There is something else I never really understood. How can we hate one another and profess to love God? In John 4:20, it states: “If a man say, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar: for he that loves not his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?” This is how I came up with the title of this article, Practice What You Preach.  We really should look in the mirror and not just talk about doing the right thing, but indeed be about God’s business. As a Christian I believe that God sent Jesus a man who knew NO SIN to die for me. Here’s something to think about. Could you ever repay God for what He did for you? Now He gave His son, which was His best for us. Are you willing to give Him your best?


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