Date: 03/09/2013       
Name: Donnell Hicks
Title: From Boys to Men

Young black teenage males between the ages of 12-17 years old have a difficult time growing up to become prominent young black men in society. For some, they are bred in the rundown, rough, and desolate inner cities throughout America with a sense of no belonging or no way out but down. These young black males have to deal with less economic opportunities, high violent crime, becoming a drug dealer, lack of jobs, and living in rundown tenements. Some have to deal with living with a single mother who works three to four jobs just to make ends meet; others are living with grandmothers who are on a fixed income. With more young black males dying in the streets every day, there is a high demand for income equality and most of all a decent adult role model to reach out to them and show them a way to prosperity. 

We all understand that for some black males it is hard for them to complete high school. So, they put their faith in sports like football and basketball, or hanging on the street corner selling drugs, or better yet becoming a rapper. They believe these are the paths to success and hold true to the idea that these pathways will be their guiding force. These young black males are starting to become lost in a world filled with intense crime, technology, and the urge to get rich quick that many are ending up in jail or dead in the ground without any guidance whatsoever.

It is evident during the summer months when school is out of session. The streets in the urban cities become intensely crazy. Every day and every night the news broadcasts images of our young black teens killing one another, ending up in jail, or dropping out of school just to sell a few crack rocks on the street corner hoping to have a better life for themselves all in the name of MONEY. Little do these young black males know, they’re only hurting themselves in the process.  The lack of positivity in their lives will clearly hinder their future and will turn them into men living behind the prison walls.

Most of these young black males have grown up in a household dominated by single mothers; the fathers are not around or some just show up occasionally. It is imperative fathers must be in their children’s lives from the time their infants all the way through adulthood. We all know the young black males will look to their peers in the streets for a sense of kinship and positivity.  Truth be told, our young men are yearning for someone to show them how to be men, how to be tough and stand in the midst of courage; and they need that guidance to show them a better way to a brighter future. This is the reason why I salute comedian Steve Harvey for gathering other prominent male actors a million young black teens to his secluded ranch to help them gain a better life. Of course, they would have to take responsibility for their actions regardless of their socioeconomic status. Our young men need help getting to the promise land. 

Lastly, local, state, and federal governments must come together to form a bi-partisan effort to help these African-American teens - to help them by giving them more jobs in the inner cities, more after school programs, and more after school recreational centers. And the end, they will definitely be BOYS TO MEN.

01/14/13
Felecia Williams
Title: No longer a boy, now forever a man

 

“Buying tennis shoes and paying for the blow up jumper at your child’s birthday party does not make you a father; any more than wearing pants or having a deep voice makes you a man.”

A security guard directs the last civilian he will address for the night before clocking out for his shift. As he gets into his car to head home, he checks the clock on the dash and it shows 10:05pm.  He looks up in the rear view mirror and thinks to himself “just a little while longer.”  Shortly after arriving home, he decides to take his dog out for a quick walk; he had not been let out since earlier that morning. After returning inside, he quietly lies back on the leather sofa (that also doubles as his bed) and kicks off his heavy work boots. His feet are aching and in desperate need of a massage. His car broke down on him days before and he’s been walking everywhere he needs to go and it hasn’t been a short distance to say the least. Before shutting his eyes he checks the time on his cell and it shows 10:40pm. The cell phone light dims and he stares at his reflection on the screen and lets out a tired whisper saying “just a little longer.” The alarm is set to wake him in about 55 minutes, and then he will get ready to head off to his second job (a grave yard shift). Even though he is exhausted he knows that he must continue on. He’s a single father raising his 17 year old daughter whom is in her senior year of high school. Working 7 days a week, his breaks are only when the two jobs don’t coincide. Providing for his family (his daughter and his dog) are his motivation. All he knows is to take care of home no matter what the cost. Holding on to his faith in God, he knows that he will only have to endure all of these hardships just a little while longer.

To his family he is something like a knight in shining armor, protecting the princess in the castle while accompanied by his trusty steed. He proves himself brave, courteous, honorable and gallant. Women adore him, his family loves him, and his friends and co-workers trust him. Why? Because he’s standing up to be a father and living by those values he was taught as a boy on how to be a man.

When a boy becomes a man there are qualities that change in him and propel him into manhood. There are some who hold onto their immaturity and then there are those who I like to call “real men.” A real man knows the meaning of family and will work hard to take care of them no matter what the cost. A man is able to stand on his own two feet and make things happen, rather than waiting for someone to take care of them. Like things such as cooking, cleaning, working, etc. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with doing things for a man, but a real man will do it for himself first and appreciate it rather than expect it to be done.

A man is not afraid to take challenges head on and will always give forth as much effort possible by standing up for what’s right. He will encourage revelation of truth and always present himself as trustworthy; that’s who he is. An honest sincere man knows when it’s time to have fun and can handle business like no other. A real man is an excellent communicator and not afraid to put it all on the table.  If things need to be addressed; he will speak up. He is not the type to rule with an iron fist, he encourages feedback. Unlike some, he listens, discusses and works toward compromise; he wants what’s best for all. He does not base his actions on masculine or feminine, he sees people for who they are.

A man’s role is only to be a man and stay true to himself first; because that is the only way he will ever be true to anyone else. To be a man is more than how much money you possess or how many woman you can acquire, it’s about growing beyond these immature principles and gaining the backbone needed to maintain the role as the head. You ask; what makes a man a man? A real man makes himself!

Date: 12/7/2012
Name: Donnell Hicks
Title: A Man with Sensitivity 



A man’s role in a relationship is defined by the man in the mirror. In most cases, he is labeled a “Mr. Do Right,” and is typically looked at as a knight in shining armor, the perfect gentleman for a damsel to adore. When a man commits himself in a long term relationship with his girlfriend, he must do all that he can to shower her with his affection from his heart and most importantly a man will become his lady’s rock during troubled situations.  

The role of a man can be defined in so many ways. For instance, a woman will want a man who is strong, resilient, loveable, kind, plus determined to step up to the plate and defend his territory by keeping outside influences from ruining the relationship he has with his girlfriend. There are some men who don’t show a sensitive nature, who won’t shed a tear for anything in the world. Often, there are a few men who will display their sensitivity, their warmth and feelings. I believe if a man shows his true emotions it doesn’t make him a “faggot,” a “punk,” or a “sissy.” And it doesn’t hurt for a man to be in touch with his feelings every now and again. 

There are phrases people use when they see a grown man show his emotions like, “it takes a strong man to cry.” Clearly it does take a strong man to show his true compassion in his relationship towards his girlfriend’s feelings if she needs him to be compassionate. Women who love men who don’t show their sensitive nature generally are attracted to men who are thuggish and not loveable. They definitely are not compassionate. Above all a woman dislikes it when a man doesn’t care about her emotions despite the fact she pleads with him to become compassionate. 

Another way a man’s role is defined in a relationship is by his ability to love his girlfriend for life. He must cherish her like the beautiful queen she is and be her protector when the odds are stacked against their relationship. A man will romance his girlfriend to the fullest by displaying his affection and by setting up a candlelight dinner, sending her flowers on the job unexpectedly or making absolutely certain she’s happy. Some men won’t even go the extra length to show their romantic side. Be as it may, the relationship fails when his girlfriend finds euphoric bliss in the arms of another man. 

Honestly, there a few good men out there in the world who will give all of themselves and then some to the woman they’re with in a relationship. Right now today in the twenty-first century, a woman would like a man with sensitivity, a man who will love her with all of his heart and be the strong solid rock foundation in the relationship. He’ll essentially become the “breadwinner” in the relationship. If a man’s heart is in the relationship, so will his soul and his love; and he will make a commitment and vow to stand tall to do all he can to protect the relationship.

Date:   November 6, 2012
Writers Name:  Rosey Denise White
Title: The Anatomy of a Man


It’s all about anatomy.  The nature of physics says if you have a penis, then technically you are a man.  The average man lives and breathes by this standard, duped into believing that composition is what makes them real.   On the other hand, many women are unable to recognize the look of a real man because most males do not accurately fit the description.   What then does a real man look like?   A real man cannot be seen with the naked eye.  A real man is defined by the inner workings of his spirit.

It almost sounds like a Sunday morning sermon, but in all seriousness, the spirit is the true self of every living being.  Religion is not required to believe this theory because irrespective of religious beliefs we are all spirits in human form. The flesh only allows us to recognize one another with the naked eye, but this “look” is deceptive.  We have it backwards: What is seen is an illusion, what is unseen is the true reality.  It’s just like the concept of God.  No one has seen the face of The Most High, but everyone knows who he is!   Ask any believer what God looks like and they each have their own description.  Some believe God is black, others say he resembles all forms of life but despite any argument  one thing is for certain- God means something different to all of us.  The look of The Most High varies depending on the believer just like the look of a real man varies depending on who is looking.

My perception of a real man is not based on what is seen, but rather is accumulation of experiences.   An authentic man will be an experience of beauty through his words of value and focus.  Nothing is more attractive than an intelligent man with sound vision and purpose; a man of action is also an experience of intimacy.    A genuine man is an experience of love through his labor for others because charity begins at home.  A real man is always interested in improving himself because he understands to love others one must first develop love from within.  An authentic man will be an experience of trust.  Through his sacrifice and commitment he is a provider for his family and those he hold near.  He is the leader who protects his flock and directs them safely.  A real man will not only exist in physique but will operate heartfelt in spirit.  He is masculine and powerful; a King indeed unmovable yet determined with purpose.

All of us could stand to benefit from the “look” of a man however it is the overwhelming experiences that make a man real.  Even a child can recognize realness over one who only pretends to be; it is sincere actions of spirit that overwhelms.  Real men understand that appearance is temporary.  They have learned that credibility is paramount to becoming the man they are destined to be.

Date: 10/12/2012
Name: Donnell Hicks
Title: Gangland: Save Our Young Black Men




Since the 1980’s the decade known to many as the “crack epidemic,” young black men who live in crime-ridden neighborhoods across the United States of America have belonged to different gangs or have involved themselves in some type of violent activity on the streets in the inner city neighborhoods. Violence and gangbanging have risen enormously in African-American communities due in part to their socioeconomic status. Factors such as rising unemployment and less social institutions that will give young black men a head start in their lives to decrease the rising violence such as murder, theft, and drug activity brought on by gangbanging also contribute to this problem.

Many young black men recognize their lives are in a downward spiral given the disadvantages of living in a crime-ridden neighborhood and the lack of positive role models to steer them away from trepidation. Without a positive male role model or a father figure in the household for these young black men to look up to, they will go out and find that comfort or that male influence, or they’ll look up to the leader of that particular gang to as a “father figure,” when they become members of a certain gang.

According to the University of Dayton, violence is the number one killer of children between the ages of 15-24 while the homicide rate for young male ages 15-24 is 21.9 per 100,000. On the same note, homicide rates for young black males are 85.6 per 100,000. The fact that 85.6 out of every 100,000 black males are being murdered each year is a very serious issue. This is the reality that is facing America right now today within the inner cities. In order to combat heavy violence and reduce the number of young black men putting themselves into gangs, politicians must do everything to insert social programs for young black men, including job training programs.  The high demand for and implementation of more positive male role models, better paying jobs, and the need for more community centers can result in young black men spending less of their time on the street corners selling drugs or being murdered.

The top five lethal cities with the highest homicide rates are: Detroit, Washington, D.C., Baltimore, Dallas, and Jacksonville (www.fivehomicidalcitiesinamerica.org). The correlation between poverty and violence is a well-established factor to those young black men who believe belonging in a gang and receiving fame and fortune is their way out of the ghetto without getting a good education or a decent job. Violence has become an epidemic as well as a major public issue.

Factors contributing to young black male violence are social isolation, drugs and alcohol consumption, no father figure in the household, low self-esteem, and media violence (which increases the likelihood for aggressive behavior). As African-Americans, we are facing a major reality issue when it comes to saving young black men from destroying their lives and their families forever. We must do better; these young black men are searching for father figures and more positive male influences to help them do better, even if they’re living in a poor neighborhood. This is a problem predominantly in the African-American communities amongst young black men – a problem that must be solved immediately. Like the old African proverb goes, “It takes a village to raise a child.” In other words it’ll take a conscience effort from everyone to SAVE OUR YOUNG BLACK MEN.

Date: September 24, 2012
Writer’s Name: Charlotte Marshall Templeman
Title: Boys to Men
   

Across this country in many urban cities there are little African American boys growing up too fast. Many are being raised in single parent homes without the guidance of a strong man to direct them; so ultimately they turn to other resources to learn how to be men.  Unfortunately what they are learning is not correct and thus they become mis-educated on what makes a boy a man. When this happens we have a generation of boys committing crimes, dropping out of high school and becoming incarcerated.  How do we save them?
   

Recently in Philadelphia there was an altercation on the subway system which led to the shootings of two innocent young people. The perpetrator got into a fight with another young man and fired his gun into a subway filled with students coming home from school. According to the news, the argument was between two high school rival gangs. Of course this caused mayhem on the public transit system which at the time was at the peak of many students riding it home. For several days the police searched for this person and eventually he turned himself in under the guidance of his parent.

The incident was a sad but all too common reality of what many young people face today in our urban cities. However, what is even sadder is the perpetrator was a fifteen year old young man. Since he has been in custody it has been learned that he will be charged as an adult and he faces many charges. His bail was set at a million dollars, so we all know he still sits in prison.  As I watched the news and listened to the story I wondered where it went wrong for him. When did he decide that life the wrong way was the right way? Unfortunately because of his behavior he will more than likely spend many years in jail. It saddens me because no one knows what this young man could have become, but now we will never know.

As I walk within my community I often see many young men standing around doing nothing. Attending school is for nerds they think and education is something not needed. Most feel that making fast money takes precedence over getting an education. For those that do attend school, they feel they have to be the student who takes education lightly. This is seen by those who cut class, are the class clown or the disrespectful student who makes it hard for anyone else to learn. Ultimately the young man will become not only a menace to his school community but to his home community as well. When this happens we have incidents like the one which occurred on the subway that resulted in a young man whose life will forever be changed by his actions and the two victims who have to live with their injuries.
   
Some African American boys have declared war on other black boys. We see often in the news that they are dying rapidly at the hands of each other. If this behavior continues within our communities who will be left to become men and father children in order for us as a people to not become obsolete? Young black boys have to realize that committing genocide on each other will eventually affect our existence. We have to teach them the importance from birth how valued and needed they are. Education has to be seen as a necessity and not an option in our homes. Instead of violent movies, video games and music videos playing, books in the home need to be present and read.  In conjunction to those things we have to surround our boys with positive role models. Young African American boys need to see black men taking care of their families, going to work every day, being respectful of one another and always embracing education and seeking knowledge.  This is imperative to the growth of our boys becoming men.  In order for us to have a place as a people on this earth for years to come we have to save our boys. They are the root to the existence of our race. Making a lifelong investment in them is assuring we will have a place on this earth for years to come.

Date: 8/31/2012
Writer’s Name: Reginald Antione Ward
Title: Man UP Chicago



In today’s society, this generation really has limited positive male role models and influences. I am the representation of Chicago. I live in an area where guns and violence are an everyday issue. I believe in my heart that all this violence is due to the lack of a positive male role model in the households.  Children are not being taught about fearing the Lord as much as they are taught how to fight and defend themselves in the streets of Chicago. The way this city is looking, you would think that no good leaders existed in Chicago.

Chicago has truly become a war zone - the hometown of President Barrack Obama, a city where we should be proud and portraying our President in a good light. Sadly, each day on the news there are killings, stabbings and shoot outs. I have to ask, what has this city become? A good leader like President Obama has showed us, through his lifestyle, how to be a real man, stand up for beliefs, and fight throughout all adversity. We need more President Obamas in Chicago. We need more President Obama’s teaching what’s right and wrong in the streets. Real men please stand up!

Sadly each day when I turn on the Chicago News, my heart is filled with grief. As beautiful and rich in many ways as Chicago is, with the violence, it is truly becoming ugly. Our New Mayor, Emmanuel, the former Chief of Staff for President Obama, seems to be more focused on beautifying the city than really shutting the violence down. He has made a few efforts but things appear to be getting worse. Seemingly the main focus is drawing tourist to this city. What about fixing what’s wrong first?

In the Civil Rights Movement people really fought for the changes they wanted out of life; things are a little bit different today. Yes, the difference starts within us all! We all need to man up more and more. Real Men stand together for what’s right! “How can two men walk together unless they agree?”(Amos 3:3).

People of Chicago, it is really time we walk together. We need to really agree to fight the violence, fight the killings and stabbings, and fight crime in general. Real men, lets walk together and pray together as well. I know there are many who probably do not believe in God, but I am a witness everything is possible through prayer. President Obama has called for prayer many times throughout his four years in office for many different countries and cities. I believe now is the perfect time to call for prayer in this city of his, Chicago, IL. Once the city really comes together to pray and really focus on stopping the crime here then there is nothing we cannot do. Just last weekend in Chicago, there were over 19 shootings. This is really shameful. Real Men, lets stand up in this great city and get it together. We marched here for Trayvon Martin, let’s march even more for the hundreds of deaths this year along in Chicago.

Date: 8/20/2012
Writer’s Name: S.F. Hardy
Title: A Real Man is Not Seen, A Real Man Is Felt

“How does a ‘real man’ look?” one lady asked another? “Short, light and ugly… tall, dark and handsome is not working for me,” the other lady answered, laughing. Momma did not lie when she said, “Never judge a book by its cover, for you will most likely be fooled.”

Society has been duped into believing image is everything. Yup, just like the old pager message used to say when paging someone. While what meets the eye is somewhat representative of a person, it should not be relied on as being the total package of any individual.

A “real man” does not have a look. A real man has a feel, and not just in touch. A “real man’s” physical traits as well as his possessions will vary from man to man. However, “a real man” is determined by his actions and his dealings with others.

A real man is without flaws but realizes his mistakes and does what is within his power to correct them.

A real man is confident and does not feel it necessary to bring others down in order to lift himself up.

A real man is not afraid to speak up for what he believes is right. He is an activist in his cause.  
A real man is not afraid to show emotion because he does not subscribe to society’s philosophy of “men” not crying.

A real man will find a way to support himself financially, without brining harm or pain in the direction of his family.

A real man understands the importance of being a positive presence in the lives of his children as well as children in his community.

A real man is forever seeking knowledge.

A real man shares and encourages sharing.

A real man will cook and clean for himself and not rely on a woman to do it for him.

A real man will not hit a woman or anyone he knows he can hurt.

A real man helps those he sees in distress.

A real man is compassionate and understanding, realizing that as humans, we all have difficulties. He tries to create solutions not obstacles.

A real man volunteers his time to enhance his community.

A real man does not let what others think of him dictate his life.

“Real men” are humans who are comprised of substance. Nice looks, fancy cars, money, social status and prestige only go so far. All of the aforementioned can be taken away at any given moment, but a person’s character will remain.

Every man has the potential to ascribe to and represent the traits and actions that make a man real. However, he has to have the desire to do so, which means the African American community has to step up collectively and promote the look of real men and admonish the negative stereotypes that constantly encourage negative behavior, resulting in heavily affected communities. We have to demand better and when it is given, accept it and not downplay it.



A real man varies in his look and is felt by his touch,
a real man will carry himself as such.

A real man does not have to say what he does or what he has,
his realness will shine through as he takes care of his business.

A real man will go out of his way
to make the world a better place.

A real man exudes strength of the mind
and holds the power in his hands,
Can you tell me where I can find this real man?

 

Date: O8/06/2012
Writer’s Name: Ornitha Danielle
Title: Modern Day Super Hero?


What does a real man look like? Yes, that would be a question that I’m asking. Trying to define what his appearance would be is hard for many of us to visualize. Frankly, does he have a face? What I used to envision as a little girl was my father; he was my superman. He could do NO wrong; he was THE IT in my book. As I grew older and wiser I knew better and learned that we all have character flaws. There is only one man that exemplified what a man should be; his name was Jesus! He was a man that knew no sin or did any wrong. He was an honest man that worked for a living. He gave his life for another, which happened to be us. Jesus cared for the sick and the poor. This would be a perfect role model for any man to pattern himself after.



Jesus was kind and compassionate to those that he encountered on a daily basis. I honestly believe that there could be a real man among us, however I believe that a man can be trained to become a real man and even look like one. I think a real man should wear his pants pulled up with a belt. I believe a man should be a hard worker, a great provider, and a warrior for his family. I believe that a man will train his son how to treat his wife or girlfriend and on how he should be with his family in public and behind closed doors. A modern day super hero will not allow society to determine who he is in God and how far he can go in life. Many African Americans face the brutal reality of being deemed to become deadbeats, low lifes, stupid, uneducated, lazy… this checklist could go on for days.



Let’s visit our media, like the news? Huh, yeap. The news sensationalizes all the negativity of our men. If majority of these young men between 16- 30 years of age had places to go to be mentored, encouraged and loved on, 99% of them wouldn’t have committed the crimes that they have committed. With the budget cuts of the Boys clubs, Cubs scouts, community sports leagues, church organizations and even after school activities what is there to do, other than get into trouble? I believe that we all should pitch in to help our young men get the nurturing they need to become an outstanding man and individual. Let’s take a few minutes out of the day to say a kind word to a young man other than telling him that he will never amount to anything. The Bible tells us there is life and death in tongue and we should control that before we really do some serious damage to the MALE’S EGO!! We need to help them and not hurt them. A man will also go before God for direction in life in order to lead his family. Man was created in God’s image and not man!

Date: July 16, 2012
Writer’s Name:  Nanette Buchanan
Title: Real Men are to be Respected

Just saying the words “A Real Man” brings a smile to my face. There are so many characteristics and qualities that a male has that it’s surprising to know that not one is the same.  In that uniqueness we often find that each man his own essence, creativity, and swagger, all of which could be considered the core of a real man.

As a child, I remember my grandfather; his height and voice stood out more than his personality.  A tall man about six foot or more, with a smooth baritone voice would speak and the room would become silent listening.  He would soften his tone when speaking with me and my cousins as he explained his love for fishing or watching sports. He was a hard worker, a long shoreman at the docks in Elizabeth, New Jersey.  This is my first memorable definition of a man.  

I was raised by my step-father who I grew to love tremendously.  I knew no other father; and in the making of this “real man” he wore the title proudly.  He had different qualities but lacked none.  His stature was different than that of my grandfathers.  He stood about five foot eight inches, and his voice wasn’t as deep.  However, his presence demanded the same respect and he got it.  He too was a hard worker.  I remember him going to school to become a licensed electrician, a lesson that taught me to be determined in what you want and don’t give up.  He stood in place of a man I met only for a brief period in my life.  Most men who fill the shoes of the absent father are not thought of as extraordinary, but they are.

I married at the age of twenty one and thought I had the man of my dreams, that fairytale love.  My husband was in the military, which he left shortly after we married.  He worked, and we saved our money and fulfilled our desires.  This man was young; we both had a lot of growing up to do, but I thought I had a “real man.”  I’ve learned that the difference between my first husband and the men I noted above was maturity.  A real man without maturity holds no value to himself or others.  It wasn’t long after we married that I found I had outgrown his antics, his teasers, his friends and so much more.  In asking myself what I was searching, what type of man did I desire?  What type of man is a real man?  I had to find out fast I was raising a son.

After separating from my husband I found myself living the life of a single parent.  I had two children - a girl and boy.  I knew what to give my daughter to be a woman, but I had to admit raising a boy to be a man would be a task.  I didn’t want to dabble with dating men who would leave a negative impact on him.  The search for what a man was began.  



Many of my male friends laughed when I said my son would not be the “typical male.”  The characteristics that made my grandfather and father the men they were were quickly fading.  Physically there were many who had the stature or the voice, but often they didn’t demand respect.   Yes, they spoke about it, but that command presence wasn’t there.  The appearance of a real man makes one take note of who they are; and if you don’t know him, you want to get to know him.  It doesn’t matter if he is dressed in a suit or work boots, dirty or clean, there’s a look about him that says I am to be respected.

There is no doubt that he believes in himself; his morals and values can be depicted by the way he carries himself.  You know that much about him before he introduces himself.  He is not afraid to try; determination and motivation carry him through and above adversities.  His past doesn’t hold him captive and his future, although it may be unknown, he holds on to his faith in God and himself.  Real men live life knowing that challenges will come and they must be ready to face the reality they bring.  Not all are leaders but the followers are supporters, lending their abilities and skills when needed.  Real men aren’t afraid to love, cry, dance, or show their kindness; it is a part of their core.  The richness that is within them illuminates their being and that is what we see in their smile, and hear in their voice.  This is the man I wanted my son to be.

I allowed those of character to enter my son’s life.  I allowed them to share their struggles, teach him what a woman could not and give him direction.  Real men stand knowing that others will sit.  They speak up knowing others will remain silent.  They love when they know others will never understand why. Some men just won’t Man Up.