Author: Norlita Brown
Title: My Version or Yours
The hesitation he gave before answering my question spoke volumes. It informed me before his words would confirm, he wasn’t the man I thought he was. My question was simple, “How will you feed me?” He knew when I posed the question that my words weren’t literal. I didn’t need to know if he would take me to dinner for lobster, steak or hot dogs. That didn’t matter to me, but what did matter was what would he feed my mind? How would he challenge my intellect and push me to be greater?
The truth is everyone has their definition of who a real man is, so honestly I can only define mine. Whether or not my definition lines up with yours is in the interpretation. The first understanding is that a “real man” is not equivalent to a “perfect man.” We all make mistakes and none of us are perfect so to focus on their imperfections rather than who they are striving to be takes almost every man from the equation. For me, a real man possesses knowledge because he seeks it daily. He doesn’t sit idly by waiting for it to come to him nor does he only seek what benefits his job. He seeks what benefits his lifestyle and those around him. He understands that to be a real man means that he must be fully aware of his journey which would include the journey of those who have paved the way for him, his family and those who he loves. With this knowledge, he feeds his family – the dosage would depend on what they can handle.
His woman will know she’s a Queen by how he treats her. There will never be any doubt in her mind that God has sent him to be her protector, therefore she will at all times feel safe when he is in her presence and even when he isn’t. It’s a certain degree of safety and comfort you feel when you know you can depend on someone to have your back. You know that wherever you are, they will come running a million miles to be there if there was even the smallest possibility that you were in danger of any sort.
A real man stands strong within his family and his community pressing forward to positive change. His fists will never strike the ones he love, but will land many punches to anyone who wishes harm on them. He is a man of honor, distinguished by many, and a leader among most. He is a man!
Any search engine will give you a plethora of who “real men” are and who they aren’t. Many include attacks on their sexuality and their character. If a real man was to look at the list of possibilities he may find himself lost in who he is or who he should be. One thing I believe to be certain is that a real man will not allow anyone to define who he is because the only thing he can do is be the best person he can be and leave others with their opinion and their ability to write countless articles and books that contain it, but will never contain him, because to be perfectly honest a real man can’t be defined.