Name: Nanette Buchanan
Title: Parenting 101
It seems no matter what product you buy, invest in, or bring home it comes with instructions. Most of us don't use them even when it comes to putting the product together. We simply look at what the package shows as the picture, listen to someone who has bought it, or have somewhat of an idea as to what it's supposed to look like and how it works.
Lately, I believe that's what we've done with our children as well. The majority of today's parents have no idea of how much time, commitment, and effort they will have to put in to make their child a complete, productive person in society. From conception and if their wise before they conceive, there's a need to understand there is no manual that will repair the damage of poor parenting. If your vehicle is faulty and you find a mistake from the manufacturer, there's a recall. If any product is not to your satisfaction after purchase, you can get a full refund or store credit. This does not happen with your children.....they are yours.
As parents we've got to understand that the model you create is what's displayed to the world and later becomes a part of society. Society is not obligated to look over their ill manners, lack of respect or lack of desire to achieve. Today's youth just exist; few of them strive to do better in school, are motivated to participate in anything that doesn't involve a computer screen, and in great numbers a lot of them are involved in criminal activity.
Parenting doesn't come with an instruction manual, but there are so many who have done a fantastic job. The grandparents, the teachers, the ministers, the mentors, the people who wholeheartedly have come to you with their concerns; no one wants to take over your position, no one wants to deny you the opportunity to be "Mom" or "Dad". Understand there's more to it than just giving the child what they want.
Children are manipulators and they are professionals at it. The baby that cries for no reason until you pick them up, the child that throws a tantrum until they get what they want, the child who puts the teacher against the parent or the father against the mother until they get what they want.....all have one motive to satisfy their immediate needs. You as parents have to think further than the immediate moment. Giving in to their whims and bad behavior is not how society will reward them. Children that lack self-control, demonstrate bad behavior, or simply care less, do not become productive adults. As a parent we all want our children to be self-sufficient.
Today we have adults still living with their parents. They're not attending school, most are not working and they are abusing and using their parents, grandparents or guardians. Families are fearful of their own offspring. Scared they will "act out" they give in and reward them with whatever it takes to keep them from disrupting the home.
Society rewards the child that "acts out" with harsh punishment. There is no time out, no standing in the corner, no giving in that will satisfy you as a parent. No one wants to see their child uneducated, unemployed or serving time in a penal institution. There are those who have leaned on the quote "It takes a village....." Well those of us in the village are calling out to the parents. GET IT TOGETHER.....there is no manual. IT"S NOT IN A BOOK.....Dr. Spock and any of the other "professionals" don't have a clue about today's children, the problems they face nor the problems "the village" deals with when the parent has not done their job.
Your child can't go through their first five years without discipline. The computer and the television, or time in their room is no substitute for you, the parent, their family or socializing with other children. Extra-curricular activities are not day care centers so you can go and get your nails or hair done, shop, or simply have quiet time. You've got eighteen years plus from the time of conception......it's just like a career. You don't get a manual, you will only get the fringe benefits and the pension if you put the time in. Parenting Does Not Come With An Instruction Manual.