Name: Tamyara Brown
Title: The Beauty Within
My daughters are the hearts of me and sometimes they will ask you questions that will cause you to reflect back on your life. Alice is my eleven-year old and today she asked that question about what makes a woman beautiful. Each day our children’s thoughts are filled with images from the television and magazine put forth as beauty and for our teens today they are chasing after being the images of what they see. They are just looking for acceptance in this big world.
Alice got in my bed and lay next to me, turning the channels and the women on B.E.T were in the videos dressed half-naked and none looked like she does. My daughter is a rich deep chocolate complexion, tall, and a beautiful smile. Yet, she has dealt with being called names because of her skin complexion and height. I know that it is affecting her self-esteem. She lay her head on my shoulder and asked, “What does it take to be beautiful? Whenever I look at TV, beauty is a woman with nice clothes, a nice body, money, and their skin is light. Don't get me wrong I'm beautiful because my mama and daddy didn't make any ugly children but still I want your opinion on beauty. Is the definition of beauty what they show on TV?"
I sat there for a minute and I thought back to when I was young and I asked that same question to my mother who gave me her version of beauty. She described beauty as the perfection of your hair, your nails, your eyes had to be a light color, and your skin had to be light. I looked in the mirror and I didn’t have those qualities and for the longest time it wrecked havoc on my self-esteem. It made me feel so ugly inside and out.
I knew that I had to ensure my daughter that she was beautiful in every way. That God made no mistakes on her. I shared the words my Aunt Linda share with me about being confident in yourself and to always look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful. My Aunt Linda said, "Honey my beauty isn't my face, my behind, or big breasts. It’s how I carry myself as a woman. When I stride I walk with pride, I hold my head up and feel like a Queen at all times. What I give is respect and what I command is the same in return. I never ever let no one dictate my beauty because it is inside me shining out. If you feel ugly it will show on the outside no matter what you have on. My beauty is a combination of things. My charm is two arms long and no matter what, I am beautiful.”
As parents it is our responsibility to build up our children’s self-esteem. I’ve put a mirror in my girl’s room with the words “I am beautiful.” Unfortunately, some of our teenagers today are living in households where they are belittled and mistreated not only by their peers but parents. It is why some of our teens do and accept whatever to get attention they so crave.
I have made it a habit to let my daughters know how beautiful they are. I always hug my daughter and kiss her cheek saying, “You are Beautiful!”