A mechanic’s car is always broken. A stylist or barber is always in need of a haircut. A relationship expert can never find true love. Sadly, this is not far from the truth when it comes to many of our lives. We are so busy taking care of others, ensuring that their needs are met, until we neglect to take care of ourselves.  Life is full of hassles, appointments, deadlines, and frustrations. I’m sure you agree that stress from work, outside forces, and home life can certainly take its toll. 

In the mid 1990’s, McDonalds came up with a catchy slogan asking consumers a simple question,“Have You Had Your Break Today?” Later, McDonalds revamped the slogan, stating, rather matter-of-factly, “You Deserve a Break Today.” How true that is! While it is necessary as responsible adults to support and be there for others, learning to stop, regroup, take a moment, and take care of“you” is one of the most important things you can ever do. In fact, taking care of “you” makes you better for those you love---a better mother or father, husband or wife, sister or brother, or son or daughter.

So, I’ll ask, “Have you had your break today?” If not, then you definitely deserve a break. It  is so important to know your body’s limits as well as adhere to them. Why? Because tension, physical and emotional stress can manifest itself in your body in seen and unseen ways. Stress often resonates as extreme fatigue, heaviness, sleepless nights, weight gain, weight loss, irritability, temper flares, depression, and even hair loss. Aside from that, stress can also cause an onset of critical medical problems such as hypertension, stroke, diabetes, and heart attacks; all of which can have devastating and or deadly consequences. In addition, tension that is stored in our necks, shoulders and face can lead to painful tension headaches, mental strain, and also show on our facial features. It is a fact that whatever is going on inside will show up outside. Stress can literally damage the skin in irreversible ways, causing the skin to look aged, tired and worn and can lead to complex changes that can be hard on the self-esteem. Eliminating, or at least combating the stress in your life can make for a happier, freer, and well adjusted you.

No longer put yourselves on the back burner. It’s okay to treat yourself periodically by splurging on pampering and giving yourself a bit of something you really want. Regardless of gender, we all need a little spoiling now and again. We should all have something in our lives that we can call special; something that you do just for “you.” That, my friend, is absolutely imperative to having a healthier you. Taking a little time out for “you” can be a big de-stressor and it doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Now, if you can
afford the extravagant, by all means go for it, but if you can’t there are other ways of pampering yourself that can be just as effective. It can be something as simple as curling up in a nice warm afghan and reading a good book. Cooking your favorite meal or treating yourself at your favorite restaurant. Personally, I
prefer the holistic approach. My absolute favorite is indulging in long-long hot bubble baths. I call it “me time.” 

And, it is clearly understood by my husband and children that “me time” is code for do not bother me. Usually my “me time”goes as follows: I run a warm bubble bath, preferably with lavender scented oils or something else that has a relaxing scent. I turn on soothing music (jazz is my favorite). I light aromatherapy candles all around the bathtub and I lay my head back and clear my mind of all clutter. As I soak in my homemade hot tub, I relax my mind letting it float freely. I listen to the therapeutic jazz music and meditate on God’s goodness. When I take these long hot baths, I purposely take time to release tension from my body and toxic feelings from my mind and spirit. I am a firm believer in the healing powers of water, so this
does wonders for me. As a result, my whole being (body, mind and spirit) reap the benefits.

Although important, “loving you” and “taking care of yourself” is not solely about getting your hair and nails done or buying a new outfit. By all means, take care of your appearance, because when you look good, you feel good. However, simply dressing up the outside alone does little to change what is broken in the inside. It’s about spiritual and emotional health, feeding your spirit with positive affirmations, making an investment in yourself, and taking responsibility for your well-being. This also includes setting yourself up for the future, setting goals, getting the education you need to be successful, securing financial savings, and keeping your body, mind, and spirit healthy. In the meantime, though…take a break!

Gregory Huff is a black male who abused drugs since the age of 11. He started with stealing his mom’s cigarettes to smoking weed and drinking alcohol; then he moved on to using coke, crack cocaine and PCP (also commonly known as angel dust). During his addiction, Gregory sold drugs, robbed, and used and lived off of women. He eventually became homeless. He was a gifted basketball player in his young days but never was able to focus. He dropped out of school and landed himself in jail and prison on several occasions. Gregory eventually got his GED and went to college. Despite striving towards a positive change, Gregory’s addiction pulled him back to the streets and back into prison.

On April 5, 1995 Gregory went to Phoenix House and never looked back. He is now a substance abuse counselor and a single father of one girl and three boys. He’s been clean for over 18 years and stopped by to share his story of survival with us.

DP: What age were you when you first started smoking marijuana?
Gregory: 10

DP: Tell us about your first time getting high
Gregory: I smoked by myself. I stole a joint from my brother's jacket pocket and went behind a building and smoked it. I didn't really feel anything though.

DP: After smoking weed your first time, did you feel a sense of shame or guilt? Explain.
Gregory: No just went and found some friends and played!

DP: Did you pay for the weed your first time? If so, how much did you pay?
Gregory: I didn’t pay. I stole it.

DP: After getting high the first time, how long did you wait before trying it again?
Gregory: Not sure a couple weeks maybe.

DP: What was your 2nd experience like?
Gregory: Took another joint from my brother. That time, I felt it and was stuck on the steps behind the building for a while.

DP: How many years did you smoke weed?
Gregory: about 10 years

DP: Did you ever see your weed smoking as something that was illegal?
Gregory: yes

DP: Have you ever been arrested or detained for drug use and/or possession? If so, tell us about what happened. 
Gregory: Many times I went to prison for possession of a controlled substance and served 3 years. I was arrested other times and detained in buildings, parks, and in cars with drugs.

DP: How often did you get high?
Gregory: Every day and at least 2 or more times per day. I used cocaine and PCP. 

DP: Did any of your friends/family know about your habit? Explain.
Gregory: Yes eventually my mother, father, sister and 3 brothers knew. I was the youngest, so my parents didn't like it. But I kept on using.

DP: Was there anyone that you kept from knowing about your habit while you were using? Did you keep it a secret from anyone? Why?
Gregory: Just employers/teachers. Many females did it with me and friends.

DP: What’s the craziest thing you ever did to support your habit and addiction?
Gregory. Steal and commit arm robbery

DP: Was peer pressure a factor in your drug use? Explain.
Gregory: No

DP: At what point did you say, “Enough is enough?”
Gregory: When I was about 32 years old and was still living on my mother’s couch in her
home, I had just lost my girlfriend and was just out the hospital from a beating I realized I wanted more out of life.

DP: Did you ever relapse? Tell us about it. 
Gregory: No I went to treatment in 1996 and have been clean ever since.

DP: How long have you been clean?
Gregory: 18 years

DP: Do you ever think about getting high? How do you get past the thought?
Gregory: I understand it is not what I want. I stay away from people that use and I understand that nothing good comes from drug use. I think positive. I know that relapse can happen in bad times but it can also happen in good times, including times of celebration. I never put myself above relapse. I know if I do not stay on top of my sobriety, I can fall!! I stay out of bars. I stay away from groups of people drinking on New Year’s. I stay home and enjoy myself at home because too many drinkers are out.

DP: Any addiction is hard to overcome. Many people who are addicted to drugs never overcome the addiction. How exactly did you do it? Did you have any help?
Gregory: I always wanted to be a basketball player and all the coaches would tell us to stay away from drugs but I didn't listen. As I got older, all the things that they said about drugs had happened to me, except death. I went to Phoenix House for 12 months and did what I was told and listened. I listened in groups and watched the people that didn't listen and saw how they left the program and came back worse. It's sad but when you see people on drugs doing bad it shows me why I quit.

DP: How much money do you think you save on average per day, per week, per year since you gave up your habit?
Gregory: On average about 50 dollars a day 350.00 a week and about 18,000.00 or more a year!

DP: What are some of the changes you have noticed since you stopped using drugs?
Gregory: I'm more alert and cleaner. No more brown spit and less trouble.

DP: Do you think it is possible to get addicted to smoking weed? Is the drug really that powerful?
Gregory: If you can get addicted to eating food then yes I think you can get addicted to weed.

DP: Many people say that Marijuana is a gateway drug. Do you agree? Why/why not?
Gregory: Yes it is and alcohol is even more of a gateway drug. Even cigarettes!

DP: Out of every 10 people, if you had to take a wild guess, how many would you say are weed smokers?
Gregory: 2 people maybe 3. The number goes up if an age range is given, like 15 to 25
maybe 6 or 7

DP: What are 3 things you think people who smoke weed and used drugs need to know or hear?
Gregory: They need to know how it affects their mind and thinking. Are they good students? What are their plans? Why do they think it is cool to smoke it and why they think they need it to have fun?

 

Chanel Jones is the author of Diary of a Vixen and Million Dollar Love Affair. She is a former marijuana user and stopped by to share her story with us on overcoming her addiction.

DP: What age were you when you first started smoking
marijuana?
Chanel: I was 14 years old when I started


DP: Tell us about your first time getting high
Chanel: I was with one of my friends. I was 14 years old. She already smoked so she knew where to get it from. We went to a friend’s house who was in high school and they all were smoking. I wanted to give it a try and I did. I had no idea what I was doing but I did it anyways. I also saw my parents and uncles smoke so I
thought it was OK

DP: After smoking weed your first time, did you feel a sense of shame or guilt? Explain.
Chanel: I didn’t feel any shame or guilt. I felt high and silly and really hungry. 

DP: Did you pay for the weed your first time? If so, how much did you pay?
Chanel: I didn’t pay for it my first time but after that day my friends and I were spending 5 to 10 dollars on weed almost every day. I was only in the 8th grade!

DP: After getting high the first time, how long did you wait before trying it again?
Chanel: After my first time I didn’t even wait a day; it became an everyday thing 

DP: What was your 2nd experience like?
Chanel: My second experience was pretty much the same but there is nothing like your first high. At that age, weed just makes you hungry and sleepy.

DP: How many years did you smoke weed?
Chanel: I smoked weed for 13 years. I stopped while I was pregnant. I had to. I would never do anything to hurt my child 

DP: Did you ever see your weed smoking as something that was illegal?
Chanel: I really didn’t see it as illegal even though it was 

DP: Have you ever been arrested or detained for drug use and/or possession? If so, tell us about what happened. 
Chanel: I’ve never been arrested for any drugs and I’ve never been to jail for anything 

DP: How often did you get high?
Chanel: I would get high every day at least, 3 times a day and about 2 to 5 blunts per session

DP: Did any of your friends/family know about your habit? Explain.
Chanel: Yes everybody knew about my habit because everyone around me smoked weed. My mom, my dad, my friends… pretty much everybody where I’m from. That was the thing to do to pass time. Every day, we all would come together with our money and get high. Even the ones who didn’t have money found
a way to piece up on at least one bag of weed 

DP: Was there anyone that you kept from knowing about your habit while you were using
marijuana? Did you keep it a secret from anyone? Why?
Chanel: My grandmother. She is a Christian, but she knew. You can tell when somebody is
high off marijuana by the way they smell, the way they act, and their eyes are red. So there was no hiding it from her, even though I tried. 

DP: What’s the craziest thing you ever did to support your habit and addiction?
Chanel: To be honest, I’ve never did anything crazy to support my habit. I’ve always had a job or some kind
of hustle. My father actually would give it to me so most of the time, that wasn’t a problem for me 

DP: Was peer pressure a factor in your drug use? Explain.
Chanel: I wouldn’t say peer pressure was a factor for me because I wanted to do it. But I will say in my younger days, as a teen, I’ve peer pressured a few other people to try it.

DP: At what point did you say, “Enough is enough?”
Chanel: When I became depressed, I started to have stomach problems during my depression and
the only thing that took the pain away was weed. But then it stopped working because I became too immune. When my doctors told me I was a chronic marijuana user and that it could be a cause of my depression and stomach pains, I started to re-think things. I felt like I had so much more to live for than smoking
weed 

DP: Did you ever relapse? Tell us about it. 
Chanel: During my depression, I relapsed every other day. Even though I said I was done, when the stomach pains came around, I found a reason to smoke. If I was sad I would smoke. If I cried, I’d smoke. If I was partying, I’d smoke. I would smoke for any reason…even for my depression

DP: When you did relapse, did you ever blame anyone? 
Chanel: I didn’t blame anyone but myself.  When I hit a blunt, it was my decision and something I wanted to do 

DP: How long have you been clean?
Chanel: I’ve been clean for over a year now. I’m happy and proud and have no plans on really looking
back 

DP: Do you ever think about getting high? How do you get past the thought?
Chanel: I really don’t think about it anymore. I don’t have a reason to. I can actually sit around people who smoke and don’t get the urge. It’s just not my thing anymore 

DP: Any addiction is hard to overcome. Many people who are addicted to drugs never overcome the
addiction. How exactly did you do it? Did you have any help?
Chanel: Only help I needed was God. I prayed on it the whole time. I was in the hospital on my back not knowing what was wrong with me when all I had to do was get my health in order. It wasn’t easy the first couple of weeks. My appetite disappeared and I was irritable. I fought through those little things and I’m
well now.

DP: How much money do you think you save on average per day, per week, per year since
you gave up your habit?
Chanel: I would spend at least 10 to 40 dollars a day on weed. So, I think I save about 50 dollars every day by
not smoking.

DP: Instead of getting high on weed, what is your anti-drug?
Chanel: My anti-drug is life, my daughter and family. I spend all my time writing on my books. I don’t need weed for ideas anymore; they come natural to me as they should.

DP: What are some of the changes you have noticed since you stopped smoking weed?
Chanel: Better breathing. I’m more energetic and happy. I see life for what it really is now. Everything is clear to me. I now want to get out and do things other than sit around smoking weed thinking about what I could be doing. Now, I get up and do what I want to do. My health is under control and I feel like everything is
going to be okay. I look at everything on the bright side.

DP: Do you think it is possible to get addicted to smoking weed? Is the drug really
that powerful?
Chanel: At first I didn’t think so. I just looked at it as a nasty habit like smoking cigarettes. But it
did become addictive to me and powerful because it was my weapon. For anything that was going on in my life or when times got rough, I’d smoke weed to take the pain away 

DP: Many people say that Marijuana is a gateway drug. Do you agree? Why/why not?
Chanel: I don’t think it was a gateway drug for me because I’ve never did any other drugs…just weed. 

DP: Out of every 10 people, if you had to take a wild guess, how many would you say are weed
smokers?
Chanel: I’d say all 10 were weed smokers now I’m on the outside looking in. So many teenagers are smoking
weed and starting off like I did and so many adults are doing it as well. I don’t judge any adult for what they do because I’ve been there. But as an adult who’s been there done that, I wish I could tell them to stop. I wish
I had somebody tell me not to do drugs. I think I would have done better in school and got more involved in the sports I liked to play. So when I see teenagers thinking it’s cool, I want to stop them 

DP: What are 3 things you think people who smoke weed need to know or hear?
Chanel: Weed doesn’t solve the problem. It may take it away for that quick few minutes but when that high is gone, you’re back where you started. And all you’re going to want to do is get high again.