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Freedom Cost: Small Price to Pay

8/31/2012

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Date: 8/26/2012
Writer’s Name: S.F. Hardy
Title: Freedom Cost: Small Price to Pay

  
Everybody wants freedom but nobody wants to pay for it. Nothing in life is free. That said, freedom comes at the cost of courage, patience, unity and compassion for life, but most importantly, sacrifice.

Although emancipated less than 200 years ago there are those who believe that there are no remnants of slavery to affect the people of today. Then of course, there are others who argue otherwise.

The fight for freedom did not end with the emancipation as those formerly enslaved and their descendants faced Reconstruction, Sharecropping, Chain Gangs, and Segregation. Today bondage is felt in the form of the substance abuse, credit debt, the sex trade and the Prison Industrial Complex, just to name a few.

One area of concern regarding African-Americans as it relates to freedom is the community’s skepticism to vote. In such a short time, many African-Americans have become frustrated with the entire political process. Many of us have lost faith and have thrown our hands up conceding our rights. The loss of belief in the system has impeded numerous African-Americans from participating in the election, leading to the loss of what was once a strong voice. Voter turnout during primary elections in Detroit is sadly scarce. Before the state primary held in February 2012 CBS reported, “…Detroit will see a voter turnout of 10 percent to 12 percent…” For the obstacles endured by the citizens of Detroit 20% is considerably low. How can we justly complain about what ails the city if we are not using the tools we have to combat them?!

As a result of recent local and upcoming presidential elections the media inundates the people with the back and forth political banters between the political parties, particularly democratic and republican. Many of the issues argued in the campaign commercials resonate to the people as smokescreens, hiding the real issues that affect the citizens of this country; making it difficult for everyday people to know who to trust, easily turning people off, eliminating themselves from the election process altogether.

Another reason why I think a large population within the African-American community does not vote is because they are under the impression they cannot when they actually can. In Michigan, those incarcerated awaiting trial (have not been convicted) have the right to vote. Although those who have been convicted, sentenced and serving time during election periods cannot vote, once they are released their voting rights are automatically reinstated. It is just a matter of visiting the Secretary of State and singing up for their voter registration.

Based on my own empirical research, I believe we have become complacent and appeased with the small strides gained. More emphasis is placed on material gain and as long as many of us are able to dress to the nines and purchase luxury vehicles we will remain content with the current conditions.  

Although many of the issues stated affect the African-American community disproportionately we have a difficult time believing in the political system. Maybe it is a lack of understanding or genuine belief our voice is not heard or a combination of the two. However, there is power in numbers and if we put forth the effort to show that we won’t be ignored and are aware of the rights we posses, we can’t help but to advance in any realm. But if we take on pessimistic attitudes as we are appeased by the material gain put before us, we will no doubt lose the rights that our predecessors fought so hard for us to have.

It is my staunch belief that my generation is complacent because we haven’t had to fight for anything. We were born into opportunity and advantages so we have been removed from the struggles that took place in the past. Some of us were fortunate enough to be educated by their families and few educational systems, but most of us are unaware. Sadly as a result we don’t fully appreciate equality and don’t realize that we are still in bondage of the mind. Sure, we can drink from the same water fountain as other ethnic groups, but we turn our nose up at others riding the bus, we act a fool in school, and tease those of us who take education serious, labeling them “acting white.” I’m starting to feel that in order for people to appreciate the freedoms we continue to maintain, we will have to hit rock bottom.

Like in the days past, voter suppression tactics are being used to make it complex for voters. This to me speaks volumes. If our vote did not count, tactics to repress the vote would not be employed. Let us take note from the outcry that took place in Egypt. Organizers used Facebook to rally the people. People repressed any fear to demonstrate against what oppressed them. There is no reason why the voting polls should be less than crowded when time to vote.

Although seemingly requiring voters to take valid identification to the polls may be a small price to pay in order to vote, the implications and those who will be disenfranchised with this process is a greater price to pay.

We must keep our fore founders, who were spit on, attacked by dogs, water hosed, beaten, lost their jobs, homes and lives all in the name of fighting for the right to vote in our minds when it is time to vote. Even if we don’t believe in the process, we must not let those who made the path for us efforts go in vein. Freedom is not free and the fight to maintain it will be on going. No matter what your beliefs are, what party and ideologies you support, exercise your right to keep freedom alive by voting.


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When Motherhood goes wrong

8/31/2012

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Date: August 27, 2012
Writer’s Name: Charlotte Marshall Templeman
Title: When Motherhood goes wrong
   

For many, being a mother is the greatest and most special gift they will ever receive. From the time of conception to delivery most mothers are already bonding with their children. They are talking to them, reading to them, preparing their home for them and loving them.  It is a great feeling to know that once their child is born they will have the job of caring for another human being - one who depends on them for all of their needs. It is one of the most important and gratifying jobs a woman can have. However, for some the thought of having a child is a nuisance. For some women it can be a strain on them financially, mentally and emotionally. It is then that the child who should be looked upon as a blessing becomes a burden.
   

Recently in the news we the learned of the Camden, New Jersey single mother who murdered and decapitated her two year old son. After calling 911 she took her own life. According to the news report the mother had mental issues along with a drug addiction. At one point the child was taken away from her by authorities but later returned to her care. The end result was the murder of an innocent child and an apparent woman with problems. Who’s to blame for this tragedy? Is it the child welfare system who knew the mother was unstable but gave the child back to her? Is it the drug dealer who sold her drugs to use at her leisure? Or is it a mental health system who knew she was mentally unstable but possibly gave limited care? No one will ever know for sure but what we do know is a mother and child is dead.
   

Being a single mother can cause unwanted stress on the parent. Depending on whether or not a mother has a good job with adequate health insurance for her child and self, a stable home to live in, functioning appliances, food to eat and working electricity, water and gas, these can be just some of the hardships she has to encounter if she is not able to have those things. There are programs available for low income families but the paperwork and all that is required can become tedious to the point where a person becomes impatient and does not follow through. Whatever the reasons being, we as a society have to get better with helping those in needs. Some may say, “Well you have to help yourself first” but what if a person does not know where to begin? There are many factors that can play into a person not seeking help and following through. It can mean a difference between someone who can read and someone who cannot. Normally a person with limited education will feel inferior when having to speak to someone in authority. They may do it but not like it.  Once again, this can be the cause of some single mothers seeking assistance versus those who do not.
   

We all know that single parents have been around since the beginning of time. Throughout our history single mothers have raised numerous children and have done a great job. They had children, went back to work and continued to do what was needed to provide. The difference from then until now is the help single mothers received from the community. If she was hungry, a neighbor fed them. If they needed clothes or shoes, a neighbor clothed them. If she needed someone to care for her child while she worked, a neighbor did that as well. Communities were more like family and everyone had a hand in helping someone in need. The burden of raising and caring for a child was eased because of the help received. Unfortunately today, people are more concerned with looking out for themselves. Some single mothers have the task of solely caring for their child on their own. If you are faced with limited funds, education and basic resources this becomes a strain and other outside factors begin to surface- for example drugs.

While the mother is self-medicating herself from the pain she feels her child is left alone to care for themselves and the once beautiful dream of having a child becomes a nightmare. So once again, who is to blame for this? I believe we all have to take some accountability. First, fathers who are not taking an active role in the raising of their child should. Making a baby but not providing it with the love and support it needs to grow effectively makes you a male, not a man. Dead beat dads need to understand that their presence in the life of their child is more valuable than not.

Secondly, communities have to become just that, communities. If we know of a woman who is having difficulty in raising her child, we have to step in and offer any type of information or resources that will help her become a better parent.

Thirdly, we have to take a serious look at mental health and not ignore it. If we know of a mother who is mentally ill we have to once again provide her with the resources to get her the help she needs. If she refuses, our main priority should be getting the child the help they need for a safer and stable environment. And finally the woman has to take accountability as well. If she is continuing to have children by a man who is not ready for fatherhood or she herself is not ready for motherhood based on various reasons, she needs to protect herself from pregnancy. The worst thing a woman can do is have a child knowing she is unable to care for it.
   

Motherhood can be a wonderful experience. You get to be responsible for another life which can grow into such a success. The sky is the limit for a child when they are raised with love and all the support they need. There is nothing they cannot accomplish. However, before a woman takes on the role of motherhood she has to also be emotionally, mentally and financially capable as best she can because when motherhood goes wrong and a child’s life is lost, we all lose too.


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Stolen Innocence

8/31/2012

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Date:  August 26, 2012
Name:  Nanette Buchanan
Title: Stolen Innocence


My childhood brings back pleasant memories.  My yesterdays were filled with experiences, both good and bad. Oh but the lessons I learned. I told my children, now adults, on several occasions, “Your life has value; the life you choose to live will determine its price.”

I remember the excitement I held each morning welcoming a new day.  I loved school, after school activities, and the freedom I shared with my friends when playing outdoors throughout the community.  The school day included playing in the playground and learning in the classroom.  Everyone was on the same accord.  We respected the teacher, male or female, and anyone who taught us all they knew.  We stood proudly, saluted the flag, and said our prayers. There were unspoken words that sounded loudly between us and our educators - one of trust and loyalty. They were committed to teach during and after class; we were committed to learning.  When asked, who we wanted to be,” we would proudly answer the title of the job we often dreamed of.    

There was a sense of community consciousness.  Each household held the values of their neighbor closely and it had its benefits.  The ‘village concept’ was embraced as I, my family and friends were raised by the community.  We too had parents that worked. There was no distinction between single parent homes or those who had both, the mother and father.  Those with less were not ridiculed for each household held on to prayers that they would be able to provide for their home day by day.  There were grandmothers who held down the homes waiting for the latch key children to run home to their loving arms.  Homes were shared; we each had that extended family, that extra love. Through it all we knew our place, a child was a child and we had to wait to become an adult.

I can vividly remember playing on the block, childhood games, and snowball fights.  The sound of the basketball bouncing in my neighbor’s yard signaled the need for me to finish my chores on Saturday mornings.  As children we had little to no fear of walking from one side of the city to another.  We’d wave to adults who would certainly report our behavior to our parents before we got home.  We were taught responsibility as we kept our eyes on the younger siblings.  The oldest of the group took the place in the absence of our parents - and this we cherished.  The thought of being older, we yearned for the years to pass on.

As a teen, I remember the courtships and the giggles we shared as we talked about who we liked or “went with.” The tears of excitement as we won awards in sports, academics, and community achievements became motivation to become next year’s nominees.  We longed for summer jobs.  Getting our own check gave us a little freedom of choice for at least two school outfits.  We had our trends, our music, and our circle of friends.  Our hair went from crew-cuts to afros, from pony tails to cornrows. We made our own statements but none were bias toward others.  We went through the phases of being a teen. We were becoming adults, taking on responsibilities and loving the challenges.  We moved on, understanding you work for what you want no matter how long it took.  Our confidence was supported by our upbringing.  We were strong individually, and stronger as a group. We were risk takers, never seeking to harm anyone.  We experimented with marijuana, alcohol, and sex; never fearing the dangers or the long lasting effects.  We loved good times, good music, and we were united in becoming what our ancestors would call good people, living good.

My college years led to my adult years, marriage, children and the cycle had changed.  I was now the one raising another. Reflecting, I can remember the days I used my mother’s methods, my grandmother’s examples and lessons I learned from my father. If you can’t work for what you want, you really don’t want it.  If you lie, you’ll steal…..it was just that simple.  To my son, “You are not typical, you’re above that and don’t let anyone group you with those who are;” to my daughters, “love yourself and others will see how you want to be loved.” I longed for them to have more than I had, but I needed to keep the rich foundation that was passed on to me. The opportunities for them were abundant but so were the challenges, the diversions, and the fears.

My children were teens when I saw undeniable evidence that our youth were losing their innocence.  Children who lost part of their childhood, a generation of males and females that had no guidance were left to raise themselves.  Many blamed the rise of crime stripping the homes of fathers.  Others blamed it on teen pregnancy, children raising children. The restrictions were necessary, changing the life of a child while stripping them of their innocence began.  Decisions for the youth are made in court and not in the home. Strangers have become the same people we once had faith in.  Children had to be told about sex and how to protect themselves from pedophiles. The boogeyman was real. He had moved in the neighborhoods.  Babies that are left on buses by daycare workers, children being a part of domestic violence and abuse have no choice but to step into the adult world.  They have become an adult not long after being potty trained.

It seemed so simple yet it became foul.  I feared for my teens to take public transportation or walk further than I could see.  I became their constant transportation.  Monitoring their education ensured they wouldn’t be thought of as the “typical” child.  Education was no longer a class united with one goal.  My children watched as the National anthem was only sung at sporting events, and the pledge was only recited when requested.  Together we couldn’t understand the arguments about prayer in the school when the streets were riddled with violence.  My children made it to adulthood unscathed and we prayed and gave thanks for that.

The neighborhood’s graffiti warns us that there were others fulfilling family extensions. Children who are confused about family love and life, never being in a structured home they long to belong. Gangs open their arms to all who need intimacy, protection or an escape from the hypocrisy preached in their broken homes.  Wayward youth, learn from the streets, avoiding school, grandmothers and the village concept.  We lost our girls to the beds of men who valued “a pretty young thing” as long as she could satisfy his needs.  We lost our boys to the pretense of being a man would be confirmed once they made a child.  We lost our girls, who allowed their name to be anything other than what their birth certificates read.  We lost our males to other men who stole their manhood and dared them to speak about it.  We lost our girls, we lost our boys, and today we’ve lost the foundation.  They were never taught the beauty of their bodies.  They weren’t told that there was no need to wear the letters R.I.P with pride because a friend took a bullet and died.  They didn’t stay in school to learn that this war in the street is nothing more than the new genocide.  Society stole their innocence, allowing Planned Parenthood to teach our youth that sex is okay if you protect yourself from STD’s.  No one told them that pregnancy is a responsibility of two -for life.  The village is being terrorized, we’re losing our youth. They are on the street and those who helped in the past have moved on seeking refuge and peace.

Teachers can no longer press youth for better grades, give any input on a child’s behavior or conduct, or tell them to pull their pants up.  The dress code is no longer just a fashion statement it often speaks sex, or desire.  The entertainment, though rated exposes young audiences to adult themes.  Parents work to give more, hoping what they give will deter their child from wanting the negatives.  Most are shunning their responsibility.  Having sex without love has replaced after school activities, sports, and childhood games.  The fears of my yesterday are no match to the trauma of today.  

As we watch the increase in dropouts, their education is in jeopardy. As we accept the disrespect, lack of morals and values to be displayed, we give permission for their behavior. As we make excuses and give them more than they deserve they will never know what it is to work for what they want.  Our children lost their innocence and we’re holding on to their dreams hoping they will reconnect with life’s realities. Today is the foresight of tomorrow. When one knows better they do better.   


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Obesity the Common Enemy and the Importance of Staying Healthy

8/30/2012

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Date: 08/23/2012
Name: Donnell Hicks
Title: Obesity the Common Enemy and the Importance of Staying Healthy




Obesity is a major issue confronting Americans at the moment. It’s affecting everybody, from adults and young adults to children. We all realize with obesity comes a high risk of health ailments such as:

·         Diabetes

·         Cancer

·         Heart Disease

·         High Blood Pressure

·         Stroke

·         High Cholesterol

·         Kidney/Liver Failure

·         Sleep Apnea

   

Some people assume that being overweight is gorgeous, yet they don’t know down the line their health starts to diminish from lack of exercise and dieting. Some people take minerals, vitamins, and nutrients assuming that they will take the place of healthier foods such as grains, lean meat, and vegetables.

   

There are fitness commercials and health campaigns led by pro athletes to health fitness trainers and even First Lady Michelle Obama with her “Let’s Move” campaign that are designed to combat adult obesity preventing further childhood obesity in America. These health campaigns serve to educate parents on the importance of keeping their child/children involved in after school activities instead of having the child come home sitting in front of the television set eating their lives away with junk food. Some parent feels as if their child becoming overweight is a beautiful thing to have. Honestly, it is not even worth it.

   

Down the road a child will be teased by their peers who will lower their self-esteem because obesity has taken over their lives. The parent must encourage their child to exercise in order to live a prosperous prolonged healthy lifestyle when they become elderly. Not only will exercise benefit them physically, exercising and eating right on a strict diet are also wonderful for the mind and spirituality. By eating the right kind of foods, the mind will become at ease causing you to be less stressful. Exercising and keeping a healthy body are also good for the main parts of the body like the heart, the lungs, kidneys, and the liver.

According to www.livestrong.com, whether obesity is within an adult or a child it will certainly affect everyone involved if the person doesn’t take the necessary precautions by getting the appropriate amount of nutrients, exercising right, and maintaining a strict diet. In America, there are 31% of adults and 18% of children who are obese (www.medicinenet.com). Nonetheless, the human body is very significant. Each person ought to treasure their bodies with happiness and keep healthy. Every person should do what they feel is right in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle if he/she wants to live longer. There are elderly people in their 60’s and 70’s maintaining perfect health and even actresses and actors in the entertainment industry like singer Tina Turner and actress Jane Fonda who are keeping to good health.

   

Last but not least, parents needs to do more by setting goals and examples for their child(ren) in regards to living a healthier life. A child will look up to the parents for guidance as a role model to lead him/her down the right road. As stated, obesity is a major problem amongst children, young adults, as well as older adults. Either way it goes, everybody should ban together to combat obesity before it is too late.   


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The Love of Family

8/30/2012

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Date: August 20, 2012
Writer’s Name: Charlotte Marshall Templeman
Title: The Love of Family

   

One of the most beautiful creations made by God was the family. Family is an extension of who we are as individuals. When you think of the word family often times you get a feeling of warmth, love and happiness. It is our family who we can many times go to for support, a listening ear, a laugh or two or a peace of mind.  When families gather together for a good time we are able to see the root of who we are and where we come from. If a family is blessed to have older grandparents, we are also given the knowledge and history to our beginning. It is from those roots that we understand the family tree and what truly makes us family.
   

Although there are many families who are united by love and blood, there are some that are not. In order to have unified families there are several ingredients that have to go into making that happen.  They are faith, prayer, love, respect, communication, trust and support. These simple ingredients can mean the difference between a family that stands together and one that falls apart.


During slavery times, a huge strain was placed on the African American family. Women watched their husbands and children were sold to the highest bid, while husbands watched their wives being taken advantage of by the slave owners. Children were ripped from the arms of their parents, sold and never to be seen again. These were horrific times but through those atrocities the family remained intact. They were able to do so because of their faith. Faith was important because it allowed them to believe that a higher being was in control and could change their situation or get them through. Faith has always been the backbone of the family strength and it still is.

Prayer is another important ingredient because it goes hand in hand with faith. The ability to pray together as a family brings union. A family that prays together not only stays together, but they work together and are bonded by their spiritual belief.  Faith and prayer are what get families through the darkest hours they may be experiencing. It unites them as one, thus sealing the family bond.  

Love is just as important to the family unit. Love brings about understanding, patience and humility.  A family without love is like a plant without water; it cannot grow.  

Respect is vital to a unified family because it shows each family member that your differences, opinions and who you are are accepted without conditions.

Communication is pivotal to a strong family because it shows everyone has a voice. It also is the vessel to knowing what is going on with everyone, whether it is big or small. Effective communication is the key to any positive relationship.    

Trust shows that one can believe in you and what you say or do because of your actions. It is essential to a family. The ability to trust your family is key to a solid foundation as well.  Without trust the family can become stagnant. Supporting each other’s endeavors, ideas and dreams is what makes a family strong and unified. Knowing that your family is rooting for you the loudest in your cheering section can be the difference of how far you excel in life. It shows how much you are loved.
   

A family who exemplifies the ingredients stated above is a family that is solid. There will be obstacles, disagreements and arguments but if you are able to come together and discuss the differences, your relationship as a family will always be strong. The strength of the African American family has always been tested. We’ve been affected by slavery, but we overcame. We were affected by segregation, but we overcame. We were affected by Jim Crow laws, the civil rights movement and prejudice but we have always overcome.  We have endured hardships but as a unit we were able to fight them. A family united is hard to break and a family that is hard to break will always stand tall.
 


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The Importance of Reading

8/30/2012

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Date: August 20, 2012

Writer’s Name: Tyeisha Downer

Title: The Importance of Reading


Ever had one of those days where you wish that you could travel to another time zone or get lost in a fantasy were all dreams come true? You will find yourself daydreaming and totally gone from the real world only to get tapped on your shoulder for someone to tell you to come back to earth. Then your daydream turns into reality and you feel like it’s nowhere to escape. Well if it hasn’t happened to you let me be the first to bear witness and testify that it has definitely happened to me.

My outlet when I was a child was to write poetry to elevate my mind and make sense of my thoughts. It was therapeutic for me and once I got a pen in my hand, I entered a distant land where no one knew where it was located other than me.

I find it hard to believe that once upon a time African Americans were beaten just because they were trying to teach themselves to read. How could one of God’s most precious gifts be forbidden long ago? Our ancestors protested, went to prison, and were often mistreated by being whipped and in some cases sentenced to death, and nowadays you can’t even get a lot of African Americans to crack open a book and read what’s written inside. The days and times have changed and a lot of us would rather watch a reality drama filled television series verses read a great book of poems, self -help books or even a great non-fiction or fictional tale. What a shame! The one thing that was once forbidden that our ancestors fought for is now available to us.

There once was a cruel saying that was once told to me that ‘if you ever wanted to hide something top secret in what’s going on in the world place it in a book and African Americans surely wouldn’t have a clue.’ It hurt me to hear that some people thought that way. So what better way to prove them wrong other than to start making a change in the world today? Let’s do something a little different and prove the stereotypes wrong. Pick up a pamphlet, a magazine, or anything and read something. Take the time to get lost in the words that are created by many great journalists and authors.

 
You may even find yourself escaping to a different time zone and finding relaxation through the words that are inscribed in books or magazines. We have to realize that the mind is a terrible thing to waste and realize that reading is fundamental. Let’s not let our ancestors’ efforts in opening up the doors for us to educate ourselves go in vain. There is far too much to learn, far too many places for us to travel.



Every now and again it’s ok to get lost in your own imagination. The answers to a lot of questions that reflect in our everyday life are in the content of books. Think about it and remember that the mind is a terrible thing to waste.


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Aging Gracefully has its Disadvantages

8/30/2012

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Date: August 19, 2012
Writer’s Name:  Nanette Buchanan
Title: Aging Gracefully has its Disadvantages




As one lives, one ages.  It’s just that simple or is it?  Are we really prepared to age with grace?  Mentally, physically, and emotionally are we prepared to take on the challenges one faces when aging?  

The fears of growing older are much more than the fear of being alone, losing your spouse or mate, being unable to care for yourself, or succumbing to illness.  To be independent and to reach the golden era, only to be met with a health crisis is not what we long for as we gracefully enter our retirement.  After years of employment, raising families, and securing our finances to enjoy the peace of life after its unforeseen challenges, we are faced with the perils of aging.  As adults we seek to be successful so that we can retire and age gracefully.  We rarely think of the new challenges or fears we will face.    

We all have that elder in the family that has been totally independent for what seems to have been decades.  They are stronger than most of us who work and have a full schedule.  Although we know they take medicine, have aches and pains, they don’t complain.  Most carry on until the days become slower, night becomes day and they sit more than stand.  Aging gracefully holds its beauty when surrounded by family and friends.  Being active seems to prolong the years of illness that creep upon those who have no family attachment.  We love them, not understanding that their illness has been with them unprepared; we seek medical advice only to find these diseases come with age.

Diabetes, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Cancer, Glaucoma, Fibromyalgia, and Alzheimer Disease have become expected diseases as we age.  Each is serious in nature, add fear and isolation, and often link to depression, stress and hopelessness. Most have symptoms and signs that can be treated in the early stages. The fear of dying with an illness certainly overrides the fear of aging with grace.

When I think about aging, I avoid the thoughts of sickness and disease.  The reality of visiting my doctor, taking more medication, and a slower schedule isn’t a part of my plans for my golden years in life.  I’ve done the best I could to educate myself so when reality sets in, I won’t be afraid.  I remember wondering, during my youth, what the senior years of fifty plus would bring me.  Now at fifty plus I realize, being fifty is similar to being a pre-teen; you’re not quite there but you know it’s coming.  During those young years waiting to be a teenager I couldn’t wait to be older, be independent and yes be grown.  Well today, I am well aware that my aging gracefully has begun.  I’ve gained weight, loss hair, and my skin has changed even with all the products that say it won’t happen.  I’ve changed my diet, my sleeping habits and even added a regular regiment of vitamins and supplements.  I go to the doctor regularly and drag my husband, who no longer complains agreeing that we need to face the fact that we are getting older.

My fears of disease began with watching the elders of my family pass on.  Most died from cancer or heart conditions, which the doctors said was genetically passed on.  My worries didn’t lessen as I checked my health constantly for anything that would link to a prolonged illness.  High blood pressure, arthritis and checking my diet for cholesterol became a part of my norm for I assume whatever my family may have suffered from held my fate.  Five years ago my husband was stricken at the age of 52 with a stroke; aging gracefully took on a new meaning.

After numerous tests, it was determined that my husband’s triglyceride levels were increasing rapidly and becoming a danger to his health.  Prior to this I had never dealt directly with anyone who had a stroke.  My knowledge was limited and fear took over.  Our golden years together were to be filled with doctors, medication and the possibility of him losing mobility.  My mind took me on a rollercoaster ride of perils that would befall us, our life and our marriage. God blessed him, giving us time to get a diagnosis and interfere with what could have been a massive stroke, he was sent home with medication and a new schedule for life.  If he was to continue living the best he could, he would have to take medication daily, get rest throughout the day, and quit working.  Aging gracefully, a man who had worked since the age of 16 could no longer work if he wanted to live.  It struck us both, mentally and emotionally.  

I immediately read all I could about strokes, the limitations, and the causes.  My fears increased as I saw the symptoms of another disease and wondered, could this be our fate?  Would my husband give in as many have? Would we have the support of our family? What would we do if my husband had the early stages of Alzheimer Disease?

After the stroke it was determined that the part of the brain that was affected controlled my husband’s short term memory.  The problem that became evident was that we all, even those who have never had a stroke forget things only to remember them later.  However, my husband’s memory had taken this simple task overboard.  I pray often that he is not out and about and forgets where his home is or who he is.  I cry often praying he will not forget his family, friends, and loved ones.  Alzheimer Disease has peeked into our life and we are looking to fight it at all cost.  The doctor concludes that because the loss of memory is not limited to Alzheimer and he has no other symptoms of the disease we need not worry.  “Age gracefully, enjoy life to the fullest, and keep his levels stable, and he’ll be fine.”  We can only pray.

In talking with friends, I’ve found that they too can remember early stages of the disease that has now taken a toll on their family members.  Hoarding was one of the largest complaints.  We found that one of the first signs “Dementia” included hoarding habits.  Often this is done without the person realizing they are over stocking, keeping things that are not needed or placing them where they do not belong.

Another sign was talking about the past as though it was happening currently.  My husband and the loved ones we discussed often confuse the past and the present; places, times, and occurrences seem to all run together without a timeline.  Other symptoms are minor and can be confused with those of us who will attest to the fact, that we are not early candidates of this disease.  How often do we find ourselves in a room forgetting what we were looking for or why we entered it?  For those suffering the early stages of Alzheimer, this is done regularly and overlooked because we all do it.  Not being able to recall or bring to mind many things is often ignored because it will “come to us” later.  This is a daily struggle for those who suffer through and don’t quite understand that they are headed for a difficult stage in their life.



My fears are real.  Aging will not be graceful if I worry daily about what can’t be remembered by my spouse.  What if I can’t remember?  The stress of it alone will add to my disrupted sleep patterns and new found wrinkles and gray hair.  I smile though, as we age gracefully together because we’re only at the beginning.  Neither of us is what we consider over the hill.  We still live a vibrant life, interact with friends and family, travel and have a healthy loving relationship.  So need we concern ourselves with the inevitable?  It could be worse, as one elder once told me -“If I’m getting older, it means I’m still here to see another day.”  That in itself is golden.      


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Get Busy Dream-weaving

8/30/2012

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Date: August 20, 2012
Author:  JC Gardner
Title:  Get Busy Dream-weaving


One of my goals in life is to inspire others to follow their dreams.  A lot of motivational speakers give lots of tips on how to tap into your inner self to do better and improve your life and make the most of today. Many times, I hear the same message over and over again - things that my grandmamma, my mama, my best friend, my counselor and countless others have told me a thousand times.  These speakers get paid a lot of money to tell us most of what we already know inherently; we just fail to act.



I want to give you four things to ponder over -- something you maybe didn’t hear before.  If you did hear it, A-men; we are on the same page and I hope you have already begun to follow your dreams.



#1:  How many times have you heard: “It’s never too late to start living your dreams?”  I’m here to tell you that that is absolutely not true!  In my life this past year, I’ve had friends and family pass away without notice. Some have been young; some were old.  Obviously for them, it’s too late. For you to say you’re going to wait until you retire to get your business off the ground - that’s too late. If you’re waiting for your kids to get squared away, in today’s society, most kids are never squared away and it’s not their fault. It’s always going to be - Mama can you help me, can I come back home, daddy, I need a few dollars.  The more you keep pushing your life to the side, the more it is not going to get done.  You will end up at the Pearly Gates wondering how did you get there and didn’t accomplish half of the stuff you wanted to get done.  Don’t make your family the mountain you can’t move.  If anything, that is the one thing you should have control of. Exert your authority; get your mountain climbing gear on and starting hiking towards your destiny.



#2 Haters!  There are a multitude of haters in our lives and the sad part is that some of them don’t even know they’ve been labeled as such! Why is it so ingrained in them what you can’t’ do?  Why are they so wrapped up in your life?



Let’s think about that.   There could be several reasons, but more than likely, they don’t have a life of their own so it is better for them to be all up in your business.  Better yet, what they see as impossible for them to achieve should also be impossible for you too.



Get that particular relationship in check! Am I recommending that you cut off your friend?  Absolutely not, but learn to recognize when he/she starts to put a damper on all of your ideas, plans and vision.  My favorite reaction is to listen without hearing.  That’s when you nod in agreement just to keep the peace and then steadfastly continue on your journey.  Or, if you feel empowered, gently say, “I hear you and I appreciate your concern, but this is my dream – my vision that God has placed on my heart.  So let me learn from my mistakes and keep me in prayer.”  If they are a true friend, they’ll still be there whether you fail or succeed and perhaps back off a bit.  And in extreme cases, they might just have to go!



#3 Cloud of negativity.  This is different than a hater. This is a cloud you create for yourself. I had several clouds of doubt and insecurity.  They followed me around thundering and lightning, telling me what I couldn’t do.  An educator of long ago planted negative seeds in me that festered and grew into thorns that threatened to cut off my creativity.  I walked around in it and manifested it. It consumed my daily life and almost robbed me of my purpose.



I’m here to tell you there is a rainbow.  You will need an umbrella to cover from the sunshine so bright, you won’t even know where the clouds went.  When you know that God has placed a desire on your heart and that it is for you and only you, all of the strongholds that had you bound will be released.  But this requires a faith-walk; this requires you to believe in yourself and what you know you must do.  It takes prayer and courage to stop daydreaming and begin dream-weaving.  We can be our own worst enemy.  There are enough hurdles in the world without us creating additional obstacles. Love yourself. Trust and believe and [re]connect with your higher power.



#4 DO IT.  Embrace your true calling. Don’t delay moving forward on your dream. Feel free to contact me at authorjcg@yahoo.com with the subject heading: DREAM WEAVING  for an uplifting word. Get a support group of friends who will have your back. These would be true friends who believe in you and sincerely want you to succeed – friends that will tell you the truth.  Write out a plan, get advice, stay in prayer and make it happen.  


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A Real Man is Not Seen, A Real Man Is Felt

8/30/2012

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Date: 8/20/2012
Writer’s Name: S.F. Hardy
Title: A Real Man is Not Seen, A Real Man Is Felt

“How does a ‘real man’ look?” one lady asked another? “Short, light and ugly… tall, dark and handsome is not working for me,” the other lady answered, laughing. Momma did not lie when she said, “Never judge a book by its cover, for you will most likely be fooled.”

Society has been duped into believing image is everything. Yup, just like the old pager message used to say when paging someone. While what meets the eye is somewhat representative of a person, it should not be relied on as being the total package of any individual.

A “real man” does not have a look. A real man has a feel, and not just in touch. A “real man’s” physical traits as well as his possessions will vary from man to man. However, “a real man” is determined by his actions and his dealings with others.

A real man is without flaws but realizes his mistakes and does what is within his power to correct them.

A real man is confident and does not feel it necessary to bring others down in order to lift himself up.

A real man is not afraid to speak up for what he believes is right. He is an activist in his cause.
 
A real man is not afraid to show emotion because he does not subscribe to society’s philosophy of “men” not crying.

A real man will find a way to support himself financially, without brining harm or pain in the direction of his family.

A real man understands the importance of being a positive presence in the lives of his children as well as children in his community.

A real man is forever seeking knowledge.

A real man shares and encourages sharing.

A real man will cook and clean for himself and not rely on a woman to do it for him.

A real man will not hit a woman or anyone he knows he can hurt.

A real man helps those he sees in distress.

A real man is compassionate and understanding, realizing that as humans, we all have difficulties. He tries to create solutions not obstacles.

A real man volunteers his time to enhance his community.


A real man does not let what others think of him dictate his life.

“Real men” are humans who are comprised of substance. Nice looks, fancy cars, money, social status and prestige only go so far. All of the aforementioned can be taken away at any given moment, but a person’s character will remain.

Every man has the potential to ascribe to and represent the traits and actions that make a man real. However, he has to have the desire to do so, which means the African American community has to step up collectively and promote the look of real men and admonish the negative stereotypes that constantly encourage negative behavior, resulting in heavily affected communities. We have to demand better and when it is given, accept it and not downplay it.



A real man varies in his look and is felt by his touch,
a real man will carry himself as such.

A real man does not have to say what he does or what he has,
his realness will shine through as he takes care of his business.

A real man will go out of his way
to make the world a better place.

A real man exudes strength of the mind
and holds the power in his hands,
Can you tell me where I can find this real man?

 


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The Next Big Thing

8/30/2012

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Date: 8/20/2012

Writer’s Name: Dominique Wilkins

Title: The Next Big Thing

When people talk about leaders, they think only of the large ones in our history, such as the headliners for the movements. They think of Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X or even Abraham Lincoln or Barack Obama. The headlines do not create leaders. Anyone can be a leader. It is best that we all stand up as leaders, to show our children how easy it is.

   

In today’s society, we need leaders. We need individuality instead of an entourage. In the current times that we are living in, I see more people looking to jump on the band wagon of what the next person is doing or saying. They want to be in the “in crowd” versus just wanting to be happy.  It is very possible to be a leader in your own right, but still follow another person. For example, if a young adult shows determination, motivation, respect, pride and trust in God, then they are very capable of being successful. If you are successful, it will prompt people to follow you to share in your success, which officially makes you a leader.

   

Johnita Thompson wanted to be an author. Not just one who wrote books, but a good author who wrote books that encouraged and inspired. She had been standing on her soap box for so long, voicing her opinions against the machine and defending the wronged. She decided to take it a step further and put it on paper and reach as many people as possible through her writing style and messages. She had gone through some things of her own and was able to come away from them with her lessons and now she wanted to reach back in that dark world to help others. The first thing she needed was motivation. She found it when she decided that she did not want to suffer again from her own experience.

   

Motivation wasn’t enough to be successful. Yet, when she decided that not allowing herself to go back was not enough, she developed determination to save another soul. She wanted to tell her story and reach out to others and speak from that dark place that others are either in or left, to comfort them with promises of a better tomorrow. She felt that lifestyle; ignorance was not the answer. She would educate others in their language and lead by example. So, she did her research and wrote with a vengeance. She published a book that made her so very proud and that would reach women in various situations from all walks of life. The situations went from extreme to everyday disrespect.

   

With the love of God, who brought her out of her own dark place, she was fierce. She knew that all things were possible through her lord and savior. Johnita thanked him every chance that she had. With God on her side, she was unstoppable and she glowed. It looked good on her and people from far and wide were prepared to follow someone.

   

So far, Jonita is sizing up to be a very good leader. She is motivated, determined and God fearing already. She knows that she must be respectful of her readers at any rate, because without humility and respect, no one would be interested in reading your book and sharing it with anyone else to get the word out. Then if they did buy the book, but chose not to recommend it or appreciate it, it would just be another book filling up the shelf and collecting dust. People love to be respected. It makes them feel valuable and it allows them to earn respect for you in return. Now, they are appreciating your determination and they are seeing your drive and believe in you. They trust you now and will follow you. You are capable of leading them. One more thing, before you do…

   

You must be proud of yourself and your work. If you do not take pride in what you do or the product that represents you, your following will not last as long. Pride starts from within. If you are not proud of what you are and have done, why should anyone else?

These are certain qualities that will guarantee success every time - whether it is in writing a book, or singing a song or dancing a jig. In your own right, anyone can be a leader. It is perfectly acceptable to be a follower as well. You must learn from someone, though you cannot just follow ANYONE. You can follow other people in other industries and professions. You will never be able to perfect everything, so even leaders have to follow.

   

Whatever you do, leave your mark and set a good example!!


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