Date: 10/22/12
Writer’s Name: Allison Martin
Title: Broaden Your Horizons by Picking up a Book!

Have you ever heard the phrase “reading is fundamental?   It’s commonly used in the classroom throughout grade school but many fail to take it seriously.  For children, reading is the primary vehicle used to reinforce information learned in educational settings.  Some individuals seem to think that once they have finished grade school (and even college), reading is no longer an activity they must engage in unless it is a pre-requisite for a job or involves some sort of gossip/drama.  This is very sad but true.  Reading is actually essential at all stages of any individual’s life for various reasons.

First and foremost, there is so much going on around us each and every day that we need to stay abreast of current events and how they may impact us.  Turning on the news may seem to be the perfect medium of delivery but it’s never a bad idea to dig deeper.   For example, if there is a widespread virus or epidemic that can potentially effect the community in which you reside, it doesn’t hurt to research the possible warning signs (or symptoms) to look for, preventative measures that can be taken, and potential long-term effects.  Of course, the newscaster or subject-matter expert may provide an in-depth analysis but we should be educated enough to form our own opinion.  Therefore, obtaining various perspectives and facts from print sources is necessary.

If you’re an individual who has no interest in current events, you may be thinking voluntary reading isn’t for you.  This is definitely not the case!  Unless you have no aspirations to enhance your knowledge in preparation for a career or in general, some reading will also be needed on your end.  The most successful employees, executives, and entrepreneurs have taken the steps needed to expand their knowledge-base, enhance their level of productivity, and take actions needed to reach the next level.  Part of this process was done through examining and analyzing career-oriented literature.  Perhaps they read a few (or many) books on leadership or the key elements needed to thrive in their respective industries?  Either way, reading of some sort was needed to accomplish this objective.

Have you ever been engaged in a conversation with someone and an unknown topic arose?  This is certainly not out of the norm in many instances.  When this happens to me, I always head over to the Internet to learn more so I won’t be in the dark just in case the topic surfaces again.  In other instances, I may just want to broaden my knowledge base regarding something that sparked my interest.

Generally speaking, too many complain about their inability to better themselves and progress in life due to a lack of knowledge.  However, few actually take initiative to seek out educational resources.  Reading is the perfect way to broaden your horizons and become more knowledgeable in any area your heart desires.  There are tons of magazines, newspapers, books, electronic sources (via the Internet), and libraries filled with material waiting to be studied.  Don’t be afraid to expand your horizons out of a dislike for reading.  Instead, find a topic that sparks your interest and start there.  Cheers to a happy reading journey…..

Date: 10/17/2012
Name: Donnell Hicks
Title: Hunger & Homelessness in America



The richest country in the world is battling a major epidemic. It is not AIDS/HIV, high unemployment, or human rights. It is two diseases called hunger and homelessness. America is facing a dark issue that must be resolved by coming together. No matter if you are a Republican or a Democrat, rich or poor we must come together to make a change to end hunger and homelessness for the adults and children who are currently living in pure destitute. The rise in hunger in the United State of America is due in part to low-income wages, a child being raised in a single parent household, and the social economic gap. Hunger affects all urban communities in America. There reality is that African-Americans families are battling the idea of putting food in the household and children across the nation who are poor are experiencing the hunger epidemic.

A study in 2011 shows that 46.2 million people live in poverty; 26.5 million people between ages 18-64 years old are living in poverty; 16.1 million children under eighteen are living in poverty; and another 3.6 million seniors 65 years and older are living in poverty. Many people will suggest that poverty plays a major role in the wave of hunger. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, another main reason there is hunger in America is due to the shortage of food supplies and the rising costs of food.

The national percentage of people receiving food assistance in Florida is 16.2%, the national average in the United States is 14.7%. However, 57.2% of household participants receiving food assistance are in enrolled in at least one of three major federal food assistance programs. These include the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (formally known as food stamps), the National School Lunch Program, and the Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC). On the other hand, nearly 14 million children are served by Feeding America, over 3 million are ages five and under. (Source: www.feedingamerica.org)

Amongst African-Americans living in urban communities, one of the most difficult tasks that African-American families face every day is survival - for the apparent reason that 30% of children live below the poverty line. A study dating back to 1991 shows that 46% of black children were chronically hungry compared to 16% of white children.

There is no gleam of hope when hunger takes part in the death of infants. The U.S. is ranked 23rd among infant mortality. Nonetheless, black infants are dying nearly twice the rate of white infants. (Source: www.rollingout.com)

Politicians who serve in local, state, and federal governments don’t take people who are homeless seriously. Politicians either ignore the need to aid the homeless or aid to the homeless isn’t a number one factor on their “to-do list.” Little do they know the poverty rate for black children is 32.8% and 32.3% for Hispanic children, compared to 17% for whites, and 3% for Asian children. (www.apa.org)

Homelessness in America is more prevalent in urban areas in America with 71% living in central cities, 21% in Suburbs, and 9% in rural areas. On the contrary, 1.6 million people live in emergency shelters or transitional housing. Homelessness in America remains an issue of deep concern as we advance in the 21st century. We must come together and do something about it.

Date: October 21, 2012
Author: JC Gardner
Title: Now ladies, don’t let the word diet be your enemy.


One of the most detested four-letter words in a woman’s world is DIET.  The mere thought of it makes us uncomfortable and even depressed. In my youth, I was nicknamed, “string bean,” for being tall and thin. I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain a pound. Of course, right outside my front door was the best gym a person could have -- double-dutch, hopscotch, freeze tag, handball, kickball, and roller skating, just to name a few of the regular activities on my list.  I walked to a lot of places, including school, the park and the store. My bike was another regular activity. I took dancing lessons and remained active until I got married and had kids. Then the weight started to stick like an unwanted houseguest.  I tried to kick it out and it claimed “squatter’s rights.”  I tried buying clothes a size too small as motivation but that only ended up with Goodwill becoming a happy beneficiary.

About ten years ago, totally unhappy with my look and also determined to be a future sexy senior citizen, one of my colleagues told me about low carbs.   I didn’t know what that was. She explained she was doing the Atkins diet – all the meat and vegetables you can eat, but no pasta, no bread, no cake, and only select fruits. Humph!

I was intrigued by this diet.  So if I eat sausage, bacon and eggs every day for breakfast, with chicken and collard greens for lunch and fish, cabbage for dinner, I’ll lose weight? If I have a taco salad (with sour cream and guacamole), with chicken wings and a diet coke, that works too? How about half a rotisserie chicken with creamed spinach and kale?

I didn’t believe it, so I decided to give it try. How hard could it be to not eat carbs for one week?  Well it was crazy hard, but I did it for two weeks and lost 8 pounds.  Another two weeks later, I lost another 5 pounds and then I was in a zone.  In four months, I lost 35 pounds. My co-workers told me to stop dieting – that I looked great and was getting too thin.  Woohoo, right?

I kept it off for a year and then I had a breakdown.  My mama’s homemade potato rolls started calling my name.  That warm brownie sundae with wet nuts invaded my thoughts.  Rice or potatoes with pan gravy were in my dreams. Cornbread stuffing, sweet potato casserole, carrot cake, and a host of my favorites were just too hard to resist.  I would take a spoonful; then a half cup, then two servings, and next thing you know, BAM, string bean was now a snow pea – all puffed out but in the wrong places!

I’m on the tall side, so any weight gain tends to distribute itself pretty evenly, but you know when you are alone and the clothes come off, the mirror tells no lies. And that skirt that used to fit oh so nice?  Now the button and the button hole have a nice valley between them and the two shall never meet.

Two years ago, once again, I decided my quest of eventually being a sexy senior was getting off course.  I love to cook and I love to eat, but as women, when we age, our metabolism changes and slows down.  Also, our midsection is even more prone to expansion. I needed to do something!

I discovered Zumba.  Zumba is a high-energy, Latin-afro Caribbean, dance exercise program.  If you have the right teacher, you will burn hundreds of calories. It is the most fun I have ever had working out. But that has only been part of my strategy.  At my age, I had to change what I ate.

I loathe counting calories. I despise it. It is the bane of my existence. The thought of measuring out my food is equivalent to being in prison.  This is why certain fitness programs are not for me. And buying pre-made expensive food and having it delivered to my door is simply not realistic for the long haul.  

Recently, I made yet another discovery called, “My Fitness Pal,” a FREE app that is also a web-based program that counts the calories for you. The counting part goes against everything in my nature, yet I love it because the program kind of reminds me of a video game and I like playing it.  You control what you eat and how much you eat. There are literally no restrictions but there is a measuring aspect to it. You dictate how much you want to lose – no one telling you what your goal weight should be.   Lose at your own pace. Workout if you want to or don’t.  The food database is enormous. If you have a smart phone, you can scan almost any product and it will automatically upload the item along with all of the nutritional information. Finally, something I can make work!

Now ladies, don’t let the word diet be your enemy.  If you anagram the word diet, one of the words it creates is EDIT. Dieting is a way to edit your life and improve your appearance.  Is it hard? Heck yeah!  Does it take commitment?  Yes indeed, but what doesn’t? You have to start somewhere.  There are so many weight loss options out here today.  Maybe low carbs is your thing, or the prepackaged meals works best for you. You only get one life to live on this earth and if you don’t take care of your temple, no one else will.  

Are you ready to make some changes in your life? Join me in my quest to be a sexy senior citizen.  Start your journey today.  Need some motivation?  Hit me up: authorjcg@yahoo.com.

Date: October 8, 2012
Writer’s Name: Lorraine Elzia
Title: How long is “I DO”

“To have and to hold; for better or for worse; for richer or for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish from this day forward until death do us part."

Immortal words uttered at the altar signifying a promise of love.

Till death they do part…

That’s a really long time.  The significance of which is not really measured during the fantasy of the two becoming one. Those words are magical in the moment they are spoken, but reality is that most marriages don’t last that long. In general, besides the occasional drunken marriage in a Las Vegas chapel, most people do not enter the realms of matrimony with the thoughts that their union might not work or will be short lived. They believe the words when they say them. But believing them and actually living up to them can be two different things.  While the hope of marriage is that the two shall become one, reality is that the union is made up of two separate entities with separate minds and separate actions.

The divorce rate among Americans has hovered around 50% for more than a decade; a fact that engaged couples tend to overlook when walking down the aisle. A rose-colored view of love often obstructs a couple’s ability to take precautions against becoming part of the statistic. While there are several reasons that can bring a marriage to a screeching halt, there are some factors which seem to hold true as a major reason for divorce.

We live in a disposable society. There was a time when people worked harder in order to maintain long-lasting marriages.  Divorce was not an option and communicating and creating an environment where a husband and wife viewed all problems as things they could concur together was the goal.  But now it seems that if a marriage becomes hard and requires too much time, energy, attention and hard work to maintain it, then it is easier for some to discard the marriage than to use a little bit of elbow grease to work out the problems. When the going gets tough, Americans tend to quit and seek out a new mate that they hope will require less work.

Along those same lines, infidelity often plays a role as a leading cause of divorce.  People are too quick to seek comfort somewhere else if things aren’t working out in their marriage. Affairs, both physical and emotional are on the rise. Instead of partners in a marriage reaching out to each other for comfort, they are seeking comfort outside of the marriage. A growing sense of justifying the need to step outside the marriage when certain needs are not being met is on the rise. Infidelity is a hard obstacle for a marriage to recover from.

Another major factor in the rise of the divorce rate concerns finances.  There is a saying, “I can do bad all by myself” and more and more marriages fall victim to that line of thinking.  When finances get tight in a marriage and the ends are not meeting like they should, instinct for survival kicks in and some people begin to think more about what’s good for “me” as opposed to what’s good for “we.”

Unfortunately, Americans base their views on what love is based on what they see or read.  The life of a fairytale is how they enter a marriage and when the butterflies leave, they want to move on to the next exciting moment that can give them that addictive feeling again of being in love for the first time.  When hard work is required instead of the instantaneous natural high, more and more marriages are falling prey to the motto, “What’s love got to do with it.” Arguments become the norm and spouses who were initially growing together begin to grow apart.

Buying a pretty white gown and saying, “I DO” before friends and family is a major commitment in and of itself, but that commitment can only prosper if the people on both sides of the alter have given major consideration to all of the factors of life that can, and will, attack the marriage from the inside out. Instead of having a vision of love that is wrapped in glitter and gold, a husband and wife need to remember that love has varying degrees and levels, and it can only shine when both parties take the time to polish it.

Date:  October 16, 2012
Writer’s Name:  Nanette M. Buchanan
Title: Childhood Obesity


When bringing home your bundle of joy, you look for the chunky thighs, the full face and the cheeks no one can resist pinching.  After all, the “baby fat” doesn’t last long.  As the precious one begins to crawl, toddle and get busy, the weight begins to shed.  They grow taller become more active and before you know it……their social activities begin. The active toddler keeps the family busy.  They want to be a part of everything.  Playing with siblings, and interacting with children at daycare settings, as they learn their physical limits.  Unfortunately, there are parents who work long hours, are in single parent homes, and may not have older children to keep up with the baby.  The solution for some of the homes, for the children in the home, has become technology.  The televisions, the computer, and the electronic games have become leading forms of visual and physical entertainment.  While the lack of exercise, free play, and creative play away from pre-set video tapes and television or cable shows, have all added weight to our children.  The thought of carrying a toddler that weighs thirty-five to forty pounds develops problems that will cripple their future and the mother that carries them.

Today’s families seldom have the luxury of having parents stay home, have more play time with their children, or have the finances to pay for recreation programs. Most depend on the schools, organized field trips, gym periods, and once the child shows an interest, team sports.  There are no guarantees that the “chunky” boy or girl will shed the weight in the primary grades.  There are schools that have cut playground recess, cut the gym period, and make no effort to engage children in exercise.

Dinner at six is no longer a vision for many reasons.  Both parents are working and there are few fortunate enough to have someone in the home to greet the children with an afternoon snack. For most the child goes to after care at the school; those that come home fix a quick snack.  Many use the microwave for all three meals.  Snacks are not always healthy. Fast food has replaced fresh fruits and balanced cooked meals, and supports the children who acquire taste buds for what is quickly made.

The four food groups and exercise have become a national concern.  The First Lady, Michelle Obama has implemented healthy food guidelines for schools.  She has joined and promoted exercise and the awareness of obesity in our schools, families and homes.  Our children are at risk.  Children have nutritional needs to develop mentally and physically.  Their performances in life, in school, sports and as adults are dependent upon being healthy. Families must provide healthy choices.  Children cannot be expected to enjoy fruits and vegetables as snacks if they do not receive full course meals with vegetables at home.  Carrots, fruits, yogurt, and others are substituted by over sweetened juices and children love the sugar. Ramen Noodles are popular with our teens as well. They eat their way into their college years visiting the fast food chains without exercise.  

As our children grow their bodies depend on the nutrition provided in balanced meals.  However, the body also requires exercise.  Preparing youth for life and the expectations of challenging jobs, we owe them.  Everyone is not a superstar nor should they be expected to train as one. Daily exercise could be simple cardio, stretching, walking, or running.  Putting a child in age appropriate activities builds character, provides exercise and teaches social interaction.  They have a lifetime to stand in front of a television and participate in DVD exercise training.  Our children should be allowed free play…… bringing back some of the basics kid games provides exercise.  The fresh air, balanced meals and exercise would be the perfect opponents for obesity.



Childhood Obesity Facts

-Childhood obesity has more than tripled in the past 30 years.

-The percentage of children aged 6–11 years in the United States who were obese increased from 7% in 1980 to nearly 20% in 2008. Similarly, the percentage of adolescents aged 12–19 years who were obese increased from 5% to 18% over the same period.

-In 2008, more than one third of children and adolescents were overweight or obese.1,2

-Overweight is defined as having excess body weight for a particular height from fat, muscle, bone, water, or a combination of these factors.3 Obesity is defined as having excess body fat.4

-Overweight and obesity are the result of “caloric imbalance”—too few calories expended for the amount of calories consumed—and are affected by various genetic, behavioral, and environmental factors.5,6

References

1. Ogden CL, Carroll MD, Curtin LR, Lamb MM, Flegal KM. Prevalence of high body mass index in US children and adolescents, 2007–2008. Journal of the American Medical Association 2010;303(3):242–249.

2. National Center for Health Statistics. Health, United States, 2010: With Special Features on Death and Dying. Hyattsville, MD; U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; 2011.

3. National Institutes of Health, National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute. Disease and Conditions Index: What Are Overweight and Obesity? Bethesda, MD: National Institutes of Health; 2010.

4. Krebs NF, Himes JH, Jacobson D, Nicklas TA, Guilday P, Styne D. Assessment of child and adolescent overweight and obesity. Pediatrics 2007;120:S193–S228.

5. Daniels SR, Arnett DK, Eckel RH, et al. Overweight in children and adolescents: pathophysiology, consequences, prevention, and treatment. Circulation 2005;111;1999–2002.

6. Office of the Surgeon General. The Surgeon General's Vision for a Healthy and Fit Nation.   [pdf 840K] . Rockville, MD, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; 2010.

http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/obesity/facts.htm

Date: 10/15/2012
Writer’s Name: S.F. Hardy
Title: Free to Know Before You Go

When I sit back and observe my family’s election day process of yesteryear and compare and contrast it to our process of today, one of several big things jumps out at me. Secrecy! When I was a child, although my grandmother and parents would take us to the polls with them to vote, they never spoke a word out loud who or what they were voting for. Today, it is common place to blab your stance and your chosen candidate every chance you get. While I would like for who and what I vote for to remain private amongst me, myself and I, I definitely think that making people conscious of what is at stake is important.

As the 2012 presidential election grows nearer, there are local elections in each of our states, cities and townships that are very much understated in the media and they go by the name of proposals. In Detroit, Michigan alone, voters are expected to be bombarded by a four page ballot consisting of 18 proposals. Leaders and citizens active in the civic process are concerned that many voters will become overwhelmed while at the poles due to the extent of the ballot if they are not informed before hitting the polls. As a result, many informational rallies are taking place to make individuals aware of what to expect on Election Day, as well as encourage people to assist the elderly and those who have trouble reading and understanding the ballot proposals. Many of us have been passing out literature and talking to people at various events hoping to educate people on the importance of voting in this election.

Many of the proposed agendas include issues such as: giving the state the power to implement emergency managers in financially troubled municipalities; disregarding the rights of the people’s voting voices; collective bargaining for public service workers including but not limited to police and teachers; improving energy costs at the cost of the people and to be written in the constitution; decreasing adverse effects of marijuana laws for personal possession in the privacy of one’s home.  All and so much will have a direct effect on the people. It is imperative that people know before they go to the polls what they are up against. It will be severe if people just shaded in bubbles for sake of shading so that they can hurry and leave the polls. All of our futures are at stake and we want people to make educated decisions when voting.

While many people have missed Michigan’s October 9th deadline to become registered voters for the upcoming election, we want to encourage them to participate in the process by ensuring people get to the polls by ride sharing. Offer assistance at the polls by helping voters read and understand the ballots. For the computer savvy folk, there are websites tailored to assist you with finding the information needed to prepare you for the polls as well as help you locate your voting destination, along with phone numbers to report polling problems. Be engaged in the process; don’t let anyone take away the voice you have. If we all take part, our voices will be loud and clear. Vote! But know before you go!

Date: 10/12/2012
Name: Donnell Hicks
Title: Gangland: Save Our Young Black Men




Since the 1980’s the decade known to many as the “crack epidemic,” young black men who live in crime-ridden neighborhoods across the United States of America have belonged to different gangs or have involved themselves in some type of violent activity on the streets in the inner city neighborhoods. Violence and gangbanging have risen enormously in African-American communities due in part to their socioeconomic status. Factors such as rising unemployment and less social institutions that will give young black men a head start in their lives to decrease the rising violence such as murder, theft, and drug activity brought on by gangbanging also contribute to this problem.

Many young black men recognize their lives are in a downward spiral given the disadvantages of living in a crime-ridden neighborhood and the lack of positive role models to steer them away from trepidation. Without a positive male role model or a father figure in the household for these young black men to look up to, they will go out and find that comfort or that male influence, or they’ll look up to the leader of that particular gang to as a “father figure,” when they become members of a certain gang.

According to the University of Dayton, violence is the number one killer of children between the ages of 15-24 while the homicide rate for young male ages 15-24 is 21.9 per 100,000. On the same note, homicide rates for young black males are 85.6 per 100,000. The fact that 85.6 out of every 100,000 black males are being murdered each year is a very serious issue. This is the reality that is facing America right now today within the inner cities. In order to combat heavy violence and reduce the number of young black men putting themselves into gangs, politicians must do everything to insert social programs for young black men, including job training programs.  The high demand for and implementation of more positive male role models, better paying jobs, and the need for more community centers can result in young black men spending less of their time on the street corners selling drugs or being murdered.

The top five lethal cities with the highest homicide rates are: Detroit, Washington, D.C., Baltimore, Dallas, and Jacksonville (www.fivehomicidalcitiesinamerica.org). The correlation between poverty and violence is a well-established factor to those young black men who believe belonging in a gang and receiving fame and fortune is their way out of the ghetto without getting a good education or a decent job. Violence has become an epidemic as well as a major public issue.

Factors contributing to young black male violence are social isolation, drugs and alcohol consumption, no father figure in the household, low self-esteem, and media violence (which increases the likelihood for aggressive behavior). As African-Americans, we are facing a major reality issue when it comes to saving young black men from destroying their lives and their families forever. We must do better; these young black men are searching for father figures and more positive male influences to help them do better, even if they’re living in a poor neighborhood. This is a problem predominantly in the African-American communities amongst young black men – a problem that must be solved immediately. Like the old African proverb goes, “It takes a village to raise a child.” In other words it’ll take a conscience effort from everyone to SAVE OUR YOUNG BLACK MEN.

Date: 10/15/12
Writer’s Name: Allison Martin
Title: Reality Only Exists if You Lack Imagination

As I was driving down the road yesterday, a bumper sticker attached to the van in front of me captured my attention.  It said: “Reality only exists if you lack imagination.”  For a brief moment, I pondered this statement and ultimately decided that it made perfect sense, assuming reality was how one perceived what was currently taking place around them.  For many, the day-to-day mundane and sometimes boring or gut-wrenching tasks are currently and will always be their reality because they fail to use their imagination to think outside of the box.  Instead, contentment kicks in over a period of time and they settle for the rest of their lives, refusing to take any initiative towards fulfilling their dreams.

Those individuals with the “straight and narrow” perspective are equipped with eyesight alone and lack vision.  Eyesight is defined simply as the act of seeing.  We all see what’s going on every second right before our eyes.  If you’re riding down the road, you see many activities taking place such as the traffic lights changing and cars moving along in their respective lanes.  Eyesight is obviously useful because it assures us that we are traveling in the right direction to reach our desired destination for that moment in time, whether it is home, school, work, or the store.

On the other hand, we all need to be equipped with a vision to escape going through the repetitive motions each day in order to reach the next level.  Vision is defined as the act or power of anticipation that which will or may come to be.  If you speak to an entrepreneur, they will tell you that it all started with a vision.  Without a vision, many of the most innovative companies wouldn’t even exist.  Perhaps you aren’t an entrepreneur but are stuck in a job and want to take it to the next level?  It’s time to develop an idea of your dream job (including salary requirements, desired location, work conditions, flexibility, etc.) and draft up a plan of action that details how you will get there!  Did you notice that I said “will” in the prior sentence?  This is not an error on my part at all.  Instead, it’s a call to action and a statement of affirmation.

The phrase “if you believe it, you can achieve it” is overused at times but very true.  To develop a vision and execute to make it a reality, it is a must that you actually believe in the idea in the first place.  This is a common mistake many make and one of the very reasons why folks are limited to eyesight.   Terminology such as “I think” or “maybe” are consistently used in conversation, clearly displaying the fear of failure.  Of course, no vision is guaranteed to come to fruition but if you go in with the “it may not work” attitude, please don’t be surprised if it doesn’t.

In Matthew 21, Jesus was walking down the road and spotted a fig tree with only leaves on it. He demanded that the tree never bear fruit again and it withered immediately.  The disciples were astonished and Jesus reassured them that if they have faith (and not doubt), they can do the same.  All they needed to do is believe it was possible and it would be received if requested in prayer.  The same principle applies to visions.  If you’ve suffered from only having eyesight and lacking vision, shed the doubtful thinking, have faith, and prayerfully request that your ideas shall come to pass (if your intentions are good and pure).  Never be afraid to dream because those very thoughts may just become your reality one day.

Date:  October 14, 2012
Writers Name:  Rosey Denise White
Title:   Secretly Waiting for Death

Admittedly, I have experienced many hardships throughout my life.   I know what it’s like to not have a job, a car, clothes, food and many other basic needs that so many of us take for granted. Despite these difficulties, the hardest challenge in my life has been dealing with the loss of my mother.   I know first-hand the emotional struggles of longing to live, yet secretly waiting to die.

After several months of unexpected deaths and violence within my family unit, everyone was stunned to learn my mother was a victim of pancreatic cancer disease.   Although she was naturally small in stature, she had the spirit of a giant!  My mother was the unspoken matriarch of the family.  A very strong woman both mentally and physically, who was full of wisdom and commanded respect from all she knew.  The timing of her illness and death was quite abrupt.  I never considered what life would be like without her.  Mentally, I was unprepared for it.  I always expected mom to be around when I got married.  I expected she would be here to see me start my own family and would help me transition into adulthood.  Unfortunately, my mother will miss all of these things.   

Her death shook the very foundation of my family and the core of my being! Shortly after her death I remember driving down the road in my car, asking, begging God to call my number. I hope this is the day, I often thought to myself. I imagined a big truck hitting my car or some other freak accident to abruptly end my life.  Outwardly I yearned to live, but adjusting to life without mom was too difficult for me.  I no longer had that unmovable piece in my life that provided security, instruction and comfort.  In my mind there was no real purpose for my life to go on.  My family had moved on with their lives and I became a distant afterthought.  I had no one waiting in the wings for me.    All of this heavily weighed on my mind.  Secretly, I wanted to end it all and waited eagerly for death to greet me.  

Suicide doesn’t have to be an orchestrated elaborate plan.  There are people we encounter on a daily basis who have thoughts of death without us even knowing. The pressures of everyday life can be overwhelming for some and not everyone has the strength or will to cope.  Those with suicidal thoughts are usually withdrawn from others.  They may also engage or over engage in illicit drugs and alcohol.  Someone who is considering suicide may also appear quite normal to those around them. Truthfully, there are very few tangible warning signs that reflect a person’s willingness to die.  To this day, no one within my family or circle of friends were ever aware of my attraction to death.  

Rather than recognizing the potential warning signs of suicide, the most important thing we can do is become supportive of those undergoing a change in life.  Be it tragedy of death, financial hardships, a failed relationship or other challenges, those in the circle should always give the appearance of support. Compassion is something that not enough of us engage in.   Be willing to step in when needed.   Be willing to become a non-judgmental listening ear to those who need you.  A phone call, a letter, a text message- are all small jesters of love that can go a long way, especially to those with suicidal thoughts.  The words we speak toward others are very important.  Words generate negative and positive energy. Be mindful that your words can often be the rope that sends someone over the edge… or the harness that safely draws them back.

Date: October 14, 2012
Writer’s Name: Lorraine Elzia
Title: Reminding Her That She Wears a Crown


By virtue of her birth she is a queen; yet often the royalty of her birthright is lost due to debilitating thoughts, remarks, and actions which demolish her self-worth. Who is she?  She’s your average African American teenage girl.

At a time when her body is changing, transforming from the framework of a child into that of a woman, she is also challenged with changes to the way she sees herself as well. Trying to find one’s self and establish an individual identity in the twenty-first century can be extremely hard for our young people.  For a teenage girl, she has the added pressure put upon her of measuring up to cultural expectations and current standards of society’s view of beauty which exists on a higher level for her than the one put upon her male counterpart.  In a world governed by constant images of standardized recognized beauty, coupled with a reliance on acceptance via social media, a girl’s self-esteem becomes prey to the definitions and labels of others. Often those definitions and labels cripple her self-esteem.

Suddenly that regal queen becomes a troubled, insecure, and emotionally empty young adult. Her emptiness should be our emptiness; because for each queen we lose due to her failure to live up to her potential, we, as a society, lose out on the gift she was supposed to give to the world, but didn’t, due to her own self-imposed doubt.  Her loss is our loss.

It is important therefore, that we take a more active role in cultivating our young females by helping them battle against low self-esteem so that they may blossom into that which they were created to become. We do that by recognizing and helping erase the very things that chip away at their confidence level.

One of the major predators to the way a young adult looks at herself begins with her appearance/self-image. While it is easy to dismiss this as being vain or shallow, it is very important because most teenagers, to some degree, are concerned with how they are viewed by others. Body shape, complexion, hair and physical traits all play a part in how a young adult is viewed by others and how she feels about herself because of those viewpoints. A low self-image can be difficult to overcome. Obsession with the outer package for a young adult can skew a girl’s view of the total package that she truly is. Instead of concerning herself with the content of her character, she devalues herself based upon skin that is too light or too dark; weight that is above or lower than the norm; a behind or breasts that are too big or too small; and other things that have nothing to do with who she is on the inside.

Another important factor that plays a role in self-esteem is one which has been heightened lately by the insurgence of social media into a teenager’s life. Anxiety about fitting in at school or with peers has always been a problem for young adults.  But with all the different venues available now due to modern technology, our young people not only engage in, but are expected to have an online presence outside of the normal walls of school or home.

Back in the day a teenager only had to worry about how they were viewed at family gatherings; during school hours and an occasional school-related event or two.  But now, they are expected to have a presence on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter just to name a few. Suddenly, the yard stick of measuring who they are as a person has grown, and her measurements are out in the open for all to see, comment on, and judge. The pressure is literally and figuratively on.  One wrong stroke of the keyboard, one bad hair day captured in a picture, or one wrong comment to a post, can all be triggers that catapult them into becoming a pariah; a state of existence of no return in the teenage mind.

It is important to recognize that teenagers need to feel valued and loved. If those two elements are not present in their lives, low self-esteem can be the result; and low teen self-esteem can lead to sexual activity which can result in teen pregnancy.  It becomes a trickle-down effect. The need to feel loved by another person can be so strong that it overrides common sense, leaving a young woman with a reputation for being promiscuous, or becoming a mother at an age when she is just a child herself.

With all the pressure that threatens a young woman’s belief about herself, one of the major dangers to her is the cloud of depression that can hang over her due to low self-esteem. Depression can stem from her feeling as though she is not good looking enough; not worthy enough; not loved enough; and just in general, not good enough. In some cases, teenagers who cannot overcome their feelings of hopelessness and low self-esteem may resort to suicide. Something as simple as physical imperfections, peer pressure, or feeling unloved; all of which are temporary states of mind, can detour our young women from their destiny.

A young woman’s self-esteem can easily be broken.  The challenges of life alone leave them ill equipped to instinctively fight back. But if the, “Village” takes the time to identify the sources, we can educate the child. We owe it to them and to ourselves. We need to help our young queens look past the obstacles, so that they can find their inner beauty; because that is where the real jewels of their worth reside.