A mechanic’s car is always broken. A stylist or barber is always in need of a haircut. A relationship expert can never find true love. Sadly, this is not far from the truth when it comes to many of our lives. We are so busy taking care of others, ensuring that their needs are met, until we neglect to take care of ourselves.  Life is full of hassles, appointments, deadlines, and frustrations. I’m sure you agree that stress from work, outside forces, and home life can certainly take its toll. 

In the mid 1990’s, McDonalds came up with a catchy slogan asking consumers a simple question,“Have You Had Your Break Today?” Later, McDonalds revamped the slogan, stating, rather matter-of-factly, “You Deserve a Break Today.” How true that is! While it is necessary as responsible adults to support and be there for others, learning to stop, regroup, take a moment, and take care of“you” is one of the most important things you can ever do. In fact, taking care of “you” makes you better for those you love---a better mother or father, husband or wife, sister or brother, or son or daughter.

So, I’ll ask, “Have you had your break today?” If not, then you definitely deserve a break. It  is so important to know your body’s limits as well as adhere to them. Why? Because tension, physical and emotional stress can manifest itself in your body in seen and unseen ways. Stress often resonates as extreme fatigue, heaviness, sleepless nights, weight gain, weight loss, irritability, temper flares, depression, and even hair loss. Aside from that, stress can also cause an onset of critical medical problems such as hypertension, stroke, diabetes, and heart attacks; all of which can have devastating and or deadly consequences. In addition, tension that is stored in our necks, shoulders and face can lead to painful tension headaches, mental strain, and also show on our facial features. It is a fact that whatever is going on inside will show up outside. Stress can literally damage the skin in irreversible ways, causing the skin to look aged, tired and worn and can lead to complex changes that can be hard on the self-esteem. Eliminating, or at least combating the stress in your life can make for a happier, freer, and well adjusted you.

No longer put yourselves on the back burner. It’s okay to treat yourself periodically by splurging on pampering and giving yourself a bit of something you really want. Regardless of gender, we all need a little spoiling now and again. We should all have something in our lives that we can call special; something that you do just for “you.” That, my friend, is absolutely imperative to having a healthier you. Taking a little time out for “you” can be a big de-stressor and it doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Now, if you can
afford the extravagant, by all means go for it, but if you can’t there are other ways of pampering yourself that can be just as effective. It can be something as simple as curling up in a nice warm afghan and reading a good book. Cooking your favorite meal or treating yourself at your favorite restaurant. Personally, I
prefer the holistic approach. My absolute favorite is indulging in long-long hot bubble baths. I call it “me time.” 

And, it is clearly understood by my husband and children that “me time” is code for do not bother me. Usually my “me time”goes as follows: I run a warm bubble bath, preferably with lavender scented oils or something else that has a relaxing scent. I turn on soothing music (jazz is my favorite). I light aromatherapy candles all around the bathtub and I lay my head back and clear my mind of all clutter. As I soak in my homemade hot tub, I relax my mind letting it float freely. I listen to the therapeutic jazz music and meditate on God’s goodness. When I take these long hot baths, I purposely take time to release tension from my body and toxic feelings from my mind and spirit. I am a firm believer in the healing powers of water, so this
does wonders for me. As a result, my whole being (body, mind and spirit) reap the benefits.

Although important, “loving you” and “taking care of yourself” is not solely about getting your hair and nails done or buying a new outfit. By all means, take care of your appearance, because when you look good, you feel good. However, simply dressing up the outside alone does little to change what is broken in the inside. It’s about spiritual and emotional health, feeding your spirit with positive affirmations, making an investment in yourself, and taking responsibility for your well-being. This also includes setting yourself up for the future, setting goals, getting the education you need to be successful, securing financial savings, and keeping your body, mind, and spirit healthy. In the meantime, though…take a break!

Date: 02/03/2013
Name: Donnell Hicks
Title: Let the Past be the Past

A wise man once said and I quote, “Forgiveness is the greatest thing ever, because at the end you’ll have untold peace and happiness.” Before I became a writer, I didn’t realize what the mantra “Price of Fame” actually meant until two years ago when I became a victim of verbal assault from everybody from all different directions. The very people who claimed to be my friend, ended up departing, abusing my trust, love, and kindness to the point I became so bitter and angry and started building up these defensive walls around me so I won’t hurt anymore.

My heart grew shallow, my love grew cold. So many pundits whispered behind my back they even conspired to destroy me in any way they knew how; for the reason that I didn’t do what they wanted me to do for them. Each time I had lent out a helping hand or did any favors, it always came to slap me in the face with full force. It got to the point where I started to hate myself for being such a nice person to my fellow brethren.

Recently, it came down to the point where I couldn’t stand the concept of being nice anymore for the sake of being hurt again and taken advantage by “friends.”

I turned into a monster, trying to hurt the very pundits who struck at me ten times and committed treason. Although I attempted to keep a smile on my face, inside my soul, a raging monster would grow devouring everything in sight. I did my best praying often to the heavens, yet none of it worked but only for a short period of time. The same people who hurt me, I wanted to make them feel my pain. My mother would tell me some times “God honors a person who has humility when he/she has been constantly hurt.” Though I was filled up with rage, I didn’t really care.

So many reasons played a significant factor in why I couldn’t let the past go; for starters I befriended this guy in 2011. This person claimed to be a cool, down to earth guy. Truthfully, I was naïve to see underneath the surface of all the glitter wasn’t purely gold. He made me feel comfortable around him and then he vanished into thin air without a trace. From that point on and with every other situation, I lashed out at anyone who came in my way. I held onto the anguish, the defeat so that I can allow the demon to be revealed.

Every now and again, I kept holding onto the past when someone tried to show me love I pushed the person away. I kept on pretending to be at peace when in fact I wasn’t in peace. One day it came down to the wire where I had to recognize that what I was doing wasn’t hurting the individuals, I was downright hurting myself in the process. I just had to leave everything in God hands and I did. I regret that I had lost my faith; I regret allowing the past to pull me away from the many blessings God had blessed me with regarding my writing career. Likewise, I didn’t know my own strength to rise above the smoke.  

To conclude, life is too short to hold onto a grudge. The past will be the past and there’s nothing we can do about it except live.

Date: 01/12/13
Name: Donnell Hicks
Title: Loss Innocence of Our Children

Whether we are parents, foster parents, uncles or aunts, we have an obligation to love, care, and protect our children from being hurt, unwanted, or unloved. Sometimes children suffer from sexual, mental, and physical abuse from the same people who are involved in their lives to protect them.

You can tell when a child has been abused because he/she will sense some type of unwanted love either it be verbal abuse, emotional abuse, or physical abuse. In the AA communities, a child will experience the pain of being sexually abused by his/her guardian twice as hard as any other ethnic group in America due to the socioeconomic environment of living in deplorable conditions as well as within foster homes and group homes. Children, who have lost their innocence, have become victims. They’re behavioral patterns tend to become uncontrollable at times. The children will lash out with aggression against his/her peers and isolate themselves from the crowd.

Children who are exposed to sexual abuse by their guardians are usually between the ages of 8-17 years of age. They’ll keep their emotions packed down; they often become defensive and bossy to others. Nevertheless, the abuse will force a child to battle their inner demons. These children become victims of society - mainly the prison society; for the apparent reason that, children believe they don’t belong in the world amongst those who have often abused them.

A child who has suffered from abuse will display significant signs of aggression, depression, drug and alcohol abuse, isolation, anger, and perform poorly in school. Whatever the parental guardians are going through in their personal lives, they shouldn’t take it out on their children/child. A child is innocent in certain situations and he/she shouldn’t have to be a casualty, better yet victims of a cruel injustice manner brought on by adults.

Many people have the audacity to believe sexual abuse only happens in the African-American communities. Little do they know, sexual abuse happens everywhere especially in rural and suburban communities amongst Caucasians. Some white older men who had attended Catholic schools when they were children were sexually abused by members of the Archdioceses many decades ago. It took the young men, currently living as adults, years and years to come clean to the sexual abuse allegations brought on by the members of the Archdioceses. Before that, white male adults have gone through fighting their own demons to stop being victims of sexual abuse. Another wave of sexual abuse took place last year at Penn State University in Pennsylvania with Jerry Sandusky who is currently serving life in prison for sexually abusing young men decades ago. Thus, it took the young men years to come forth for the reason that they were often afraid of the consequences. They had no option except to speak up for themselves; it had to be the only way to put to rest the everlasting demons taking over their mental state.

The issue of sexual abuse isn’t a black, white, Hispanic, or Asian problem. It is an American problem that must be dealt with head on. Children who have been sexually abused and adults who have been sexually abused as children cannot sit back and remain silent on the issue. A child is harmless, and parents, foster parents, and adults have a responsible and duty to show TLC for the children/child whom they’re taking care of; which is why I wrote the book entitled “Lyric’s Song” to deal with this growing pandemic. Children cannot become victims, yet they can become victorious.        

Date: December 16, 2012
Writer’s Name: Lorraine Elzia
Title: Sexual Abuse: A veil of silence

 

A veil of silence

Their lips are sealed in most cases. Shades of chocolate that run the extreme ends of the rainbow of their shared kinship. It’s a rainbow of affinity rooted in abuse. For those affected, a heritage rich in strength against all odds teaches them that dirty laundry does not get aired in public; especially in any manner that will bring shame upon the family or against its people in general. So they suffer mentally in silence; under the umbrella of obligation and shame which molds their speech, dictates their actions, and not only teaches, but demands that they put forth a façade of innocence concerning any violation or first-hand experience of the snatching of their sexual innocent virtue. 

Violation is not exclusive to just them, but in the scheme of things, the way “they” deal with it is. Sexual abuse is taboo in general; but speaking of it can be almost sacrilegious in the African American Community.

We…don’t like to accept that it happens.

We…don’t like to acknowledge that it exists.

We…like to think that we are stronger than allowing an infiltration of something so ugly to make its ways into our family boarders or our bloodline.

We…are in denial and subconsciously impart a trait of, “secrecy of the sin” upon our s      pecies when it comes to sexual abuse.

A generation of people who have found a way of claiming victory from slavery to a point of soaring to presidential heights, has a tough time recognizing, accepting and dealing with the fact that that crazy, drunken uncle that every family has…stepped over the boundaries and laid hands and other body parts on the children in the family.  Or that innocent play between cousins became more than a “kissing cousin” game and resulted in incestal rape. Or the fact that momma’s boyfriend, Aunt Agnus male friend, or Millie’s occasional houseguest, took liberties on the body of a child; but not before threatening that child to keep quiet of what transpired.

That same generation can’t swallow the fact that as we aggressively push forward in all aspects of life to show that we are not only equal – but superior in some aspects when it comes to our line of thinking and in our actions as a people – and still accept that our skeletons still have a bit of flesh and bone to them. Those skeletons are alive and kicking, even if we choose to put them in a closet and pretend that they are dead and don’t exist.

We all have our cross to bear. That statement seems to reign over our logic sometimes.

A cross to bear?  Is the loss of a child’s innocence the cross that a generation bears as part of a bigger sign of advancement and growth? Is the sad reality of a few casualties of innocence along the way a bitter necessity and ultimately ignored as we press toward the higher mark?

The problem in our community does not come in the form of taking a stand and trying to rectify a crime as best we can once we are aware of it. In most cases, the African American Community will take on that cause, as it has done with most others against our society, both individually and as a race. We respond, once attacked, with an unrelenting vengeance once the perpetrator is known. So the problem is not in what will we do once confronted with a violation; the problem comes in our sense of comfort in not wanting to know of the violation in the first place.

We are much more content, as a people, to act like we are ignorant that it may be happening than we are with being forced to take action. We’ll act when forced to; our bloodline dictates we are strong in that regard, but we just would rather not have anyone twist our arm to act.

There lies both the problem and the cure.

In order to stop the abuse, our community needs not only to have its arm twisted by the fact that sexual abuse is running rampant; but we need to have our arms broken, and ultimately put in a cast of undeniable pain before we will be prepared to take it seriously. In order to help our children, we need to pull off our, “ignorance is bliss veil” and be more proactive than reactive.

When it comes to reporting sexual abuse, race does matter.  African-American women are less likely than white women to involve police in cases of child sexual abuse. Their need to remain behind a veil of secrecy is based upon fears about betraying the family by turning abusers into "the system" and a distrust that they have of institutions and authorities. So often, they just remain silent, being faithful to their “cross to bear.” That silence results in perpetrators remaining free to assault again.

Once an abuser, always an abuser.  The only way to stop that vicious cycle is to bring the abuse to light.  The only way to make shades of chocolate victims cry out and bring their abusers to light is for the African American Community to raise their veil of “ignorance is bliss” and instil within its children that they do NOT have a “cross to bear” for their race.  We need to be more forceful in allowing them the freedom to not see their selves as a representative of their race and its cause.  We need to teach them that they, as individuals, are more important than the big picture. We need to stress that although we will fight to right any wrong that we perceive, it is very important for us to have knowledge of the wrongs in order for us to battle them.

The veil of silence is not golden. If we want to put an end to sexual abuse in our community, we must take the time to instil in ALL of our people that they are not a martyr for a bigger picture of racial advancement or for the removal of generational shame.

Date:  12/1/2012
Writer’s Name: James W. Lewis
Title: Knowing the Signs of PTSD



With a scheduled drawdown from Afghanistan by 2014, our military warriors will return to the States after multiple tours of hazardous duty in a hostile environment. Many of them will bear little resemblance to the person they were prior to deployment, having witnessed the horrors of war. Some will need to adjust to life at home with amputated limbs, burn scars, and debilitating injuries; others won’t have any visible wounds, seemingly normal on the surface, but suffering from a kind of pain you can’t see.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental health disorder that can occur after someone goes through a traumatic event like war, assault, or disaster. According to the Department of Veteran Affairs, experts believe approximately 15% of veterans that served in Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom and 30% from prior wars (like Vietnam) have PTSD.

In other words, the war isn’t over for them, despite shedding the uniform and re-entering the civilian world. If left unchecked, this condition may negatively impact a veteran’s ability to sustain a healthy relationship with friends and family, find employment, or even interact around groups of people. To prevent this condition from worsening, it’s important to pay attention to unusual changes in behavior. Three main types of symptoms may indicate PTSD:

Hyperarousal. The veteran may be on constant alert and easily agitated, which is called increased emotional arousal. He or she may have trouble sleeping, problems concentrating, and experience outbursts of anger. He or she may always be on guard and in fighting mode, ready to attack at any time.

Avoidance. The veteran may do whatever it takes to stay away from anything linked to the traumatic event, including the location where it happened, media coverage of the event, or what they were doing at the time (like eating a particular type of food). Crowds may make them extremely uncomfortable, so riding public transportation or even being in a grocery store for long periods of time may be difficult.

Re-experiencing. A veteran may “see” or relive the traumatic event a number of ways. It could be a nightmare, bad memories that seemingly come out of nowhere, or flashbacks triggered by a sharp noise, like glass breaking or a car backfiring. The visions may seem so real it could appear like the event is happening all over again. Feelings of fear or guilt may overwhelm the veteran.

Congress recognized the need to address problems associated with veterans readjusting to civilian life, so the Vet Center Program was implemented to provide free counseling services for veterans and their family members. Vet centers are located in communities around the country and are a part of the Department of Veteran Affairs. They also provide other forms of counseling, such as for sexual trauma and bereavement.

Leading up to 2014, scores of veterans will return home, leave service, and enter the private sector for employment or use the G.I. Bill for school. Many of them may show signs of PTSD, so to ensure they can manage their symptoms, professional help may be needed. Fortunately, veterans or family members can contact a local vet center and start the process for counseling.

You can find more information on PTSD and vet centers at http://www.ptsd.va.gov/ and http://www.vetcenter.va.gov/.

Date:   December 3, 2012
Writers Name:  Rosey Denise White
Title: Healthy Eating Can Reverse the Effects of Autism



Every physical and mental ailment can be avoided by choosing to engage in a lifestyle of healthy eating.  Everything we eat has a direct impact on our health.  Processed foods, milk, meat, alcohol, junk food and other unnatural foods contain parasites or GMO’s- Genetically Modified Components.  These chemicals calcify the brain, which contributes to the thinking levels and behaviors of both child and adult.    The health care pharmaceutical industries have become a cash machine, benefiting greatly from the cost of prescribed medications aimed at treating illnesses.    

Many are dependent upon traditional medicine, unaware that the body can heal itself naturally through eating the right foods.

According to the CDC, one out of every six child was diagnosed with a developmental disability between 2006 & 2008.  Autism is a form of developmental problems that affects approximately one in eighty-eight kids.  The autism diagnosis rate has increased 289.5% in the last ten years and continues to climb.  Developmental disabilities can be defined as a diverse set of physical or mental impairments that widely affect a child’s ability to learn, speak, and read and writer.  Researchers remain conflicted as to actual causes of developmental defects such as autism and other than prescribed medications and treatments; there is no cure for autism disease.

The food that we choose to fuel the body with is paramount to success for both child and adult. The brain is the most important organ in the body.  It serves as the central processing unit as it instructs mental thought processes which virtually control everything the body has the ability to do.  Without the brain, the body cannot live but without healthy foods as the fuel source, the brain cannot function at full capacity.   Humans are the most powerful source of energy on the planet. The foods we eat produce body heat, physical & mental energy!

Kids need to especially eat healthy and be limited on the amounts of processed foods and sugar they consume.  Too much sugar hurts kids physical and mentally by increasing stress hormones in the body which causes hyperactivity and anxiety.  Breakfast is also important for school aged children, as eating a healthy breakfast boosts cognitive memory. Cognitive memory helps children learn and increases vocabulary skill sets; both are necessary to produce learning.  Vitamins B6, B12, Iron and Calcium all help to stimulate brain growth in both kids & adults. A diet complete with vitamin B6 aids in maintaining healthy nerve and brain function.   Children diagnosed with developmental issues would benefit from a consistent diet of spinach, baked potatoes (with the skin), sweet potatoes and turnip greens.  All are excellent vitamin B6 resources.

A healthy brain allows your body to do all the things it is meant to do and feeding your brain the right foods can improve how well it is able to send messages to the rest of your body. It is important to eat a variety of brain boosting, natural foods to get the most benefit. What we eat drastically affects our ability to think & learn, especially in kids.

Date:  November 27, 2012
Name:  Nanette Buchanan
Title: Aging While Incarcerated

For every criminal act there is a law.  A written agreement presented to the people and government that whoever commits a violation of the law there will be a punishment.  The severity of the punishment can range from community service, a monetary fine, to life imprisonment.  The death penalty has been a controversial topic and as such has been revoked and reduced to life without parole in many states.   

There are many problems with our judicial system and most of the controversy is found in the sentencing.  Do most offenders get what they deserve?  Does the punishment fit the crime?  Is each case, though the elements may be the same, does it get a fair trial?  What happens after the incarceration becomes costly?

Each crime, during the trial, is presented to the jury by both the defense and the state.  The state must have enough evidence for an indictment.  Once the defendant is found guilty by the jury the judge sets a date for sentencing.  The sentence is also set according to the elements, evidence, testimonies and the laws pertaining to that crime.  This seems fair unless the crime is hideous in nature, highly profiled and televised, or lacks the evidence that would support maximum punishment.  Controversial court proceedings, those that attract the media’s attention, receive sympathy for the victim as well as empathy for the accused.  No one follows the offender who is released, unless they are a repeat offender.  No one follows what goes on behind the walls, in the cells, on the tiers, unless watching breaking news or the reality shows.  

The reality is these incarcerated men and women cost the states where they are serving time.  Custody and care of these inmates increase as they get older.  Most suffer from psychological disorders and other mental conditions, develop illness, need constant health care and just like people in the free world they get older.  Aging has become a problem across the nation.  What does the system do when the inmate ages, suffers from long term illness, requires hospice care?  Who pays for the cost that most states didn’t consider when jails were established?

There is little to no difference between the seventy five year old inmate and one’s grandfather or grandmother.  It’s obvious they are locked in a cell serving time for a crime they did when they were young; for many life without parole has kept him there.  The average man or woman at seventy five has slower movement, may have various health problems, or need long term care.  

Several states have established medical facilities on or near prison grounds to treat problems most closely associated with aging.  Still, the costs associated with care for elderly prisoners are high and growing.  States spend on average $70,000 a year to incarcerate someone age 50 or older, nearly three times what it costs to house a younger prisoner, largely because of the difference in health care costs, according to the National Institute of Corrections.  Source: Ashby Jones and Joanna Chung, "Care for Aging Inmates Puts Strain on Prisons," Wall Street Journal, January 27, 2012.

Sex offenders, and those who need hospice care may incur costs that are well over this amount.  Some states are considering releasing those who need long term care.  Most facilities are not equipped to handle the needs of these aging inmates.  The required medical needs cannot be met and the liability increases with each episode that sends the inmate to the emergency room.  Fees increase as their health deteriorates; family and friends are strained in the process as well.  Often a chance to make final arrangements or granted last days of comfort with the family is not permitted.  Visits must still conform to the rules of the institution.  

Even minor changes in aging are costly.  Cataracts, the need for eye surgery, heart problems, the need for walking assistance are neglected conditions that land the inmate in jail.  The access to Gynecologists in the female institutions is a rarity in some of the women institutions and every female disorder must be met in the hospital setting.  Again the custody and care of the inmate is a must in the Department of Corrections and with each trip outside of the jail includes custody staff.  Whether it is an emergency or monitoring the inmate in their hospital room, custody staff is there.  The emergency trip or keeping staff with the inmate may incur overtime being paid at both the hospital and the institution.  This adds additional money to the cost of care for one inmate.   

The decision to release inmates must be reviewed on all levels.  The money that is spent shouldn’t outweigh the need to keep an aged inmate sickly incarcerated until he/she dies.  Inmates just as those of us in the free world are living longer.  Dementia sets in; they often can’t bathe themselves, or eat.  It’s obvious they need a hospice unit, but “locking them up and throwing away the key” was the intention when the final blow of gavel was heard.  The cost is on the taxpayers.  As your State and Federal taxes rise, there’s an inmate that is receiving free health care, care you nor your aging family member may not be able to receive.

I don’t think that we should not care for those who are incarcerated or those who have grown old with no end to their sentence.  However, there should be a state facility in each state to house those who are in need of long term care.  The cost of housing them in a local hospital is a lot more costly and squeezes a budget that is already strained.

Date: 11/26/12
Writer’s Name: Allison Martin
Title: Depression: Recognizing the Signs

Life couldn’t be better for a 30 year old wife and mother of two.  She is happily married to the most loving and caring man a woman could ask for and her children are healthy and vibrant.  Her work life is also going well as she has just completed her Bachelor’s degree and landed her dream job.  All of her hard work is finally paying off and she is reaping the rewards.

That is when disaster strikes.  Her husband is seriously injured in a motorcycle accident.  To make matters worse, she hasn’t been with her employer long enough to accrue emergency medical leave so she has to abandon her job.  The kids begin to act out at school because they miss their mommy (who now spends all her time caring for her sick husband) and fear that daddy will not make it through. Money is tight and this woman’s life is now turned upside down.  Instead of pausing to take a moment to get help, she continues with her day to day regimen until life finally gets the best of her.  As time progresses and her husband grows more and more ill, she falls into a deep state of depression without even realizing it.  Before too long, she begins having suicidal thoughts and is admitted to the nearest mental health institution.

Unfortunately, this is someone’s reality who underestimated just how powerful major depression can be.  Some individuals believe that they are invincible and that depression can’t affect them.   However, what they fail to realize is that it can be triggered by chemical changes in the brain, stressful events, or both, making it a disorder that is sometimes beyond your control.  In my example, the traumatic motorcycle accident and job loss more than likely caused the woman to fall into a deep state of depression.  For others, major depression can be caused by various other elements such as sleep deprivation, medications, drugs, alcohol, and life-altering medical conditions (i.e. long-term pain, cancer).

Many around us are battling depression at this very moment and don’t even realize it because of the lack of understanding of the disorder as a whole and symptoms to look for.  Those who suffer from major depression are typically very negative in nature and possess an unfavorable outlook with almost every situation they encounter.  Positive thinking is almost non-existent in their world.  Other signs that indicate an individual is suffering include but are not limited to fatigue, weight loss, constant restlessness, self-hate, guilt, suicidal thoughts, withdrawal from society, and constant sleeping.

Fortunately, there is help for those who suffer from major depression.   The most non-invasive form of assistance is psychotherapy (or talk therapy).   In the counseling sessions, the psychotherapist encourages the patient to discuss their thoughts and feelings and shares ways to cope with them. Another alternative is the use of antidepressants.   There are many types of antidepressants available and the doctor will typically prescribe the one that best suits the needs of the patient.  For those individuals with more severe cases of major depression, a combination of psychotherapy and antidepressants is probably most beneficial.  If this doesn’t work, admission into a psychiatric hospital may be necessary as a last resort.

When treatment begins, victims of major depression should refrain from alcohol and illegal drugs to remain in a stable state of mind.  As time progresses and strides toward improvement are made, engaging in the following activities may assist with living with and eventually overcoming the disorder: good sleep habits, volunteer work, healthy eating habits, exercise, and interacting regularly with positive and caring people.

Being a victim of this disorder early in life, I can assure you that it’s very difficult for someone to come to terms with the fact that they are battling major depression.  However, don’t let this deter you from helping anyone who may be suffering.  Instead, take a gentle approach and offer suggestions that may improve their situation (i.e. job change, joining support group, psychotherapy, medication).  Major depression can spiral out of control very quickly so it’s important to seek help for the individual before it’s too late.

Date:  November 12, 2012
Name:  Nanette Buchanan
Title: Stress a Silent Killer

A visit to the doctor’s office is often prompted by symptoms of illness.  A fever, running nose, a rash, aches and pains are all signs that indicate we may need medical attention or an over the counter remedy.  Eighty to ninety percent of the doctor’s visits have an underlying link to stress. Stress affects the mind and the body; emotionally and physically stress can drive one to an early grave.  There are two types of stress: Eustress which is positive stress and can be healthy and beneficial; and Distress which is negative and can cause physical, emotional and mental illnesses, disease and death.  

We can’t always avoid stress and sometimes we don’t want to.  The excitement of a new job, the anticipation of attending an event or new school, and opening your own business can heighten the stress level.  The results of Eustress often are the same as Distress.  The rise in one’s blood pressure, anxiety attacks, increased palpitations of the heart, stomach pains and ulcers as well as a rash, and headache are the symptoms that can bring on many masks.  Most of us don’t realize we are stressed until fatigue sets in or our conditions worsen.  Eustress is positive and understood.  We welcome the rush of excitement it brings on.  Even if some of us get overwhelmed, we deal with Eustress differently.

Distress can affect us mentally and physically.  It can begin in the mind, worrying day after day with no solution to a problem, questioning the outcome, anticipation and focusing on the negative until we can’t sleep or eat.  Our daily functions are not the same.  Our temperament changes and the mood swings range from depression to high anxiety. The symptoms are not situational and the conditions seem to link to other physical problems we may have. This type of stress unlike Eustress will linger.  Silently diminishing our will to take care of the physical symptoms we settle with the conclusion, “I’m just stressed.”  Accepting that excuse, we are accepting a silent death.

Eustress, the happy “high,” usually fades as the memories of the excitement take a rightful place in our mental photo album.  We can tap into it at any time and bring to surface the smiles, the pleasure, and the pleasantries that were felt the day of the event.  However, Distress rears its ugly head with the discomfort of sickness.  As a contributor to high blood pressure, heart problems, poor eating habits, and lack of sleep we find ourselves with more than the problem at hand, and making a doctor’s appointment.

There are many ways to avoid stress after becoming aware of its symptoms:

1. Evaluate your feelings in stressful situations- knowing what brings you stress is important.  If last minute preparation annoys you, it may add to your stress level. If you are worrying, identify what it is and work through a solution.

2. Don’t take on more tasks than you can handle

3. Plan your schedule

4. Don’t let the plans of others interfere with your plans

In many cases stress is a spontaneous reaction to an immediate or prolonged problem:

1. Recognize the problem – If it is not yours don’t take in on until you’re ready to

2. Seek a solution you can live with

3. Take a minute to breathe, slow the pace of the moment

4. Don’t make quick decisions – Often a quick decision may handle the immediate problem but will cause complications later

5. Don’t avoid the situation without a definite plan to revisit it and handle it – We often use avoidance as a solution only to find the problem to resurface

Identifying our stressors and handling them helps but often we need to return to a state of mind that will be peaceful; we need to be settled in our comfort zone. Although the problem has been settled or even if we’ve decided to avoid it, the stress still lingers. Relieving stress before, during and after a situation is the key to healthier reactions during stressful situations.

1. Take a moment to be alone – Silence, quiet and peace often relaxes nerves

2. Me time – Spend some time doing and enjoying what pleases you – A book, a treatment at the spa – A mini vacation, a night away from home – A bubble bath, or long shower

3. Soothing foods or drinks – Not an alcohol chaser – A nice glass of wine, hot chocolate, brandy

4. Rest – Sleep reenergizes the mind, body and soul

5. Reading – An escape that doesn’t cost much but gives the mind a chance to move away from the stressor and the problems

6. Exercise – Walking, running, cardio exercises burn calories but also release tension

Holding on to stress can affect your health.  Being health conscious should include educating ourselves about the silent killers.  

What goes on in your physical body is greatly influenced by the powerful mind-body connection. You can literally worry yourself into an early grave. The actual physical effects of stress on health can be extremely damaging. It is of the utmost importance that you help your body function the way it was meant to.


http://www.essenceofstressrelief.com/physical-effects-of-stress.html

October 22, 2012
Charlotte Marshall Templeman
Caring for your Elderly Parent

   

As children, we are taken care of by our parents. They make sure all of our needs are met and occasionally we may get what we want. Parents nurture us and prepare us for the world we will enter as adults. They are our biggest cheerleaders. Parents encourage us to do our best and they support us when we don’t. As we grow and embark on our lives as adults we take the lessons taught by our parents and incorporate them into our everyday lives. We are grateful for the lessons learned and when we become parents we see the qualities from our parents in us. Things we say we would never do which our parents did we find ourselves doing. It makes us smile with a warm heart.  However, when our parents begin to get old sometimes the roles change and the child has now become the caregiver. The very people who molded us into the adults we have become are now the ones we have to take care of and ensure their needs are met in their golden years.
   

My mother has been sick with an illness called connective tissue disease since I was a teenager. Her illness consists of blood clots on the lungs and it primarily affects the upper respiratory system. I did not realize how sick she was because she always made sure my siblings and I were taken care of. As I grew into an adult I became more aware of the severity of her illness. My siblings all moved to different parts of the state but I decided to stay local after graduating from college. It was at that time that I began to help care for my mother. It was something that would begin a change in my life. I learned how to become more patient and understanding because it can be a humbling experience for a parent to have to be taken care of by their child. My mother has been hospitalized numerous times and more than a few times the doctors believed she would not live. By the grace of God my mother is still here. Over the last year her illness has progressed and she has been diagnosed with another illness. With all that she has endured she remains strong but sometimes it can take a toll on her as well as me. Watching your parent’s physical appearance change as well as their illness become progressively worse can be very difficult.
   

It is extremely important for anyone caring for a sick parent to make sure they are taking care of themselves as well. Getting in tune spiritually is a big plus. There has to be a higher being that you can go to for strength, guidance, peace and hope. My faith has been elevated because without my relationship with Jesus Christ I could not physically take care of my mother. Besides having a spiritual connection, you have to also take time for yourself. Going out with friends, taking a long walk or reading your favorite book will help keep you grounded and sane. There has to be an outlet from the emotional stress that you will endure. Often times you may feel overwhelmed but having a good support system in friends and family is imperative and healthy.
   

A good parent never second guesses having to take care of their children. They will go through hurdles and leap bounds to give their children the best lives they can. Often times a parent will go without to make sure their children have. If food is limited they will go hungry to make sure their children eat. A good parent will work from sun up to sun down to provide a healthy, well-balanced loving home.  When they get older and can no longer care for themselves we should never second guess taking care of them. They should feel and know that they are just as loved and worthy as they made us feel. Caring for a sick elderly parent is not easy but it is rewarding. You are able to give back to them all the things they gave to you which allowed you to become the person you are. I love my mother and I thank God each day He has sustained her life. Although it may get hard at times to see her go through the pain she endures from her illness, I would not want to be anywhere else. She remains my rock and I love her.