Date: O9/22/2012
Writer’s Name: 0rnitha Danielle
Title: A Remarkable Woman


The things that this woman taught and instilled in me made me who I am today.  She was a strong, Christian, black woman, and a single mother raising three children on her own.  I witnessed the heartaches, the tears, and the setbacks, but yet she continued to fight and was very determined to bring us the best.  She had a reason to strive for much more although the odds were against her; she did it for her children. This person is my mother.  

She was talked about by her siblings for raising us to be strong, educated, and respectful.  Looking back on it now, none of my mother’s children, my siblings have been in trouble with the law; we never did any time or been any type of menace to this society.  You know, the type that you hear people say that will shame and make their mother’s cry.  At times when I was growing up, she spoke of a foreign language which was indeed English which I knew fluently, but I opted not to hear. The words she spoke, I didn’t understand nor did I care to understand.  The older I became, I felt more of a foreigner in my own home around my family.  As a strong, educated black woman, I appreciate the struggle and learning to deal with the hand that was dealt to me, when it was issued.

When   I think of this remarkable woman, she exemplifies in Biblical terms “The Proverbs 31 Woman.” I can honestly say that everything that was shown to me while under her roof prepared me for womanhood.  She did what she considered or thought was the best for her family. I’m not saying that every decision that was made by her did I understand. But no matter what, my mother still retained unconditional love for me as her child.  Only God knew that this woman would be the remarkable woman I needed and would pattern myself after today.  As our mother & daughter relationship became very strained, I was always reminded of what, how, and why she’d done the things she had done. Filled with hatred, bitterness and unforgiveness towards her, I was very much wrong in the eyes of God.  How can I ask Him to forgive me, but I couldn’t forgive her?   

We all make mistakes and need to stop holding grudges. Just thinking of the times I had made her cry for being difficult at times upsets me.  I am learning and have to come to an understanding that I will only have one mother and that neither of us came into this world with instructional manuals (i.e. “How to deal with a TEENAGER or a Daughter” or  “How to deal with an Alien Mother”).  Through it all, my mother is indeed a Remarkable Woman.  As for me I’ve instilled and taught my children some of the same values that were taught to me along the way.  So many women need to instill some precious values into the lives of our young women of tomorrow.

Date: 09/22/2012
Name: Donnell Hicks
Title: A Woman’s Worth


Ever since the dawn of humans two million years ago, women have been the cornerstone of keeping the households down for their husbands by taking care of the children, cooking, and making certain the household is flowing smoothly. During slavery and years following slavery, women were simply maids or cooks. Over the last 100 years, women have shown the strength and courage to withstand hardships. Women worked in factories alongside men, or were found handling their duties showing patriotism during the Revolutionary War, WWI, WWII, and the Civil Rights Movement of the fifties and sixties.

In ancient Egypt, women were beautiful Egyptian queens with power, finesse, and strength. Beginning with Egyptian queens such as Cleopatra, Nefertiti, Ashanti, and Queen Hasphut, they were radiant amid their glory. They were also intelligent enough to counteract their male foes during love and war. For example, Joan of Arc, a French queen disguised herself as a male warrior to help her country defeat the radicals from England. Later on, Joan of Arc was executed and later recognized as a martyr for the country of France.

From the ancient Egyptian queens in Africa to Joan of Arc, to the great queens of England, no other woman became brave enough to fight for women rights which would allow every woman in America to speak against oppression than our very own, Susan B. Anthony; she fought for the rights of every woman to have women vote in state and local elections. Susan B. Anthony started a national movement to protect women against workplace violence - a movement in the power of a woman’s worth. Then, Amelia Earhart who became the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean, gave women and little girls hope, faith, and a chance to accomplish their dreams sixty years following her mysterious disappearance.

Afterwards, Angela Davis a former Black Panther and political activist was imprisoned for several years during the late sixties into the early seventies. Angela Davis stood against the bigotry, the intolerance, and the racism of the Jim Crow-era. Angela Davis fought for equal rights for all African-Americans - man or woman. Angela Davis defended what was right and shut down what was wrong in America; that is civil liberty for all African-Americans.

In the entertainment industry, African-American women broke the colored barriers beginning with actress Sara Vaughn becoming the first woman to be in films; blues and jazz singers Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald; the first African-American woman who became an aviator, Bessie Coleman; entrepreneur Madame CJ Walker; legendary singer/actress Lena Horne; actress Cicely Tyson; Motown singer Diana Ross; gospel singer Mahalia Jackson; Congresswoman Shirley Chisholm; and Oprah Winfrey and Civil Rights activists Dorothy Heights, Coretta Scott-King, and Rosa Parks. Every last woman who was mentioned brought respect, humility, and honor gracefully to make a way for all women and little girls in society to accomplish the title of being a woman’s worth. The inspiration and hope these women with finesse gave to every woman and little girls in the 21st century are truly cherished right now today.

Date: September 3, 2012
Writer: Charlotte Marshall Templeman
Title: When Innocence is Lost

Across the United States there are thousands of teenage girls who are enjoying being a teenager. They gather for school events, summer parties, girls’ night out and the prom. Often times they may sit and talk about their boyfriend, who’s the cutest guy in school, which college they will attend and ‘am I too fat or skinny.’ For some girls, being a teenager is the life. It comes with limited worries of having to take care of themselves. It can be a carefree life and the best part of life for some. However, there are a number of teenage girls who have different concerns and conversations. Their concerns are, will I have to take care of this child alone, how will I take care of this child, does the baby father love me and most importantly will I still be able to fulfill my dream. There are millions of teenage parents across this country that have the dilemma of figuring out how they will take care of another life. In many situations they have no support from family and friends. It becomes a stressful time in their life and any ambitions they may have had usually take a back seat never to be fulfilled. Is this the case of all teen parents? Absolutely not, but it is the case for far too many.
   

For eleven years I worked with an organization who services teen parents. Our mission was to help the students graduate by offering academic and social services so that they could move on to either college or the workforce.  While there were students who graduated and went on to college, quite a few did not. Their lives after high school became getting assistance from welfare, working mediocre jobs and accepting help from whoever they could. This life is a sad outcome to the counselor who wants the best for their student. However, we all know that a person has to want the best for themselves and work toward getting that. So what is the big deal with becoming a parent at 13, 14 or 15? Do young girls think it’s cute because they get to dress up their baby? Or do they get pregnant because most of their friends are pregnant and it looks fun? Or is getting pregnant a result of thinking they are in love and will be with their boyfriend forever and ever? If I had to answer those questions I would say most teenage girls get pregnant because of the fantasy. The fantasy being - it is not hard, I can do it myself and my boyfriend will always be around to help me. You have no idea how many times I heard these responses. So once again, what is the big deal with getting pregnant at an early age?
   

There are many factors that can play in to the high teen pregnancy rate in our country. We can blame shows like 16 and pregnant which follows the lives of several teen parents and their struggles. We can blame a too sexually charge environment where there are sexual undertones in everything from sitcoms, movies, magazines and music. We can blame it on peer pressure and lack of parental involvement. Although I believe all of those things can be a contributor to the teen parent rate, we have to look at how the young girl feels about herself. For as many teen parents we have in this country there are just as many who are not. What is that a result of?
   

While working with teen girls I found the biggest common denominator to their pregnancies was they were looking for love or they wanted to love something of their own. Working in an urban school setting you will find many obstacles children face daily. Some are abused, some live in horrific conditions, some have no idea how they will eat daily and some are faced with not having the basic needs they require to live. In most cases the teen girls live in single parent homes where they either have limited contact with their father or none at all. Often times, the mother of the teen parent, being young herself is “living her life.” That may entail not being home to raise her daughter and having numerous different live-in boyfriends. Often times the bond and support she should be receiving from her mother takes a backseat. She feels unwanted, not loved and useless. The teen girl self-esteem is shot and she begins thirst for love from anyone she can get it from. Sometimes that love comes in the form of a teen boy or older man who promises her the world. He will love her, take care of her and he will protect her. He will make her feel validated. Too often these are lies and false promises that she cannot see because of her needs. When it is all said and done she just wants to be loved.
   

In order to combat the high teen pregnancy amongst our girls we have to start building them up. That begins first and foremost at home. Parents have to parent and be there for their girls. Whether the mother and father are still together in a relationship, fathers have to understand the important role they play in the life of their daughter. It is the father who first teaches his daughter how she should be loved by any man. He is her first date.  Father’s woo their daughters with positive affirmations so she will understand how she should be treated and how valuable she is. Mothers have to understand how they play a major role in the raising of their child. She has to lead by example and she has to always show her daughter how wanted and loved she is. As a society we have to embrace our girls and tell them how precious they are and how precious their bodies are. We have to instill in them the importance of self-worth, self-love and self-admiration.  Our girls need to know that they are the most important being on this earth because of their ability to reproduce but they have to be taught when the time is right for such an act. We have to teach them that waiting for sex and motherhood at an early age is a smart thing because we have such high standards for them to meet because they are worthy of achieving every goal they set for themselves.
   

There are some teen parents who go on to achieve their goals. With dedication, support and hard work they accomplish what they set out to do. I applaud them and wish them well. However, in my fantasy world I would rather see young teen girls give themselves a chance at life before taking on such a huge responsibility. When they learn to wait on sex and motherhood they will see how life can be better because once innocence is lost, it can never be reclaimed.

Date: 8/6/12
Writer’s Name: Dominique Wilkins
Title: Have You Checked Your Lesson Plan for Today?  


Building self- esteem is one of the most important requirements in parenting that is largely overlooked. I will give two examples. In one example, there was an attractive girl, who had so much to be proud of and possessed such a promising future with loving parents included. In the other, there is a young man who was born into a family that was unanimously considered as unattractive, broken and impoverished. Without saying anymore, if you had to choose, which individual would end up in a bad way due to low self-esteem issues, you would naturally assume the individual from the broken and unattractive home. Yet, the truth of the matter is, in the family of the attractive girl, who had so much going for her, they assumed that she knew to have pride in herself and body and would enjoy life’s blessings, though she did not. She would grow up to do quite the opposite for quite some time, as she desperately tried to fit in and live the “worldly life” everyone else seemed to enjoy.
   

Her name is Ryan Parker, the star of the popular book Mother In-Law Guilty of Murder by Dominique Wilkins. Due to the extreme lack of self-esteem, she was raped, beaten and degraded for years. She longed for craving and developed ideas and theories on how to have the perfect life that had her chasing not just men for their approval, but even her peers and eventually her in-laws. She had children of her own, who she was unable to preach or teach about love to because she had none for herself. To the outside looking in, it was plain what her problem was. Her family just could not wrap their heads around it! All they could think of was: she had such a good start! How could she let herself come down so far?! Self-esteem is a powerful state of mind. If you do not have it, you will be out of it.
   

The young man, born in a home, that dwelled under the same roof as several generations and extended family (all of which were unanimously considered unattractive as well) did very well for himself. In fact, his mother greatly resembled an adult male gorilla! This woman, raised her children up in a “lose-lose” environment with a warrior’s heart and mentality. This woman told all of her children how beautiful and important they were and how strong they would be on a daily basis as she raised them with all that she had by her lonesome.  They all were confident and competitors in the real world. This one young man was the cockiest of them all. He grew up to have a great paying job at the age of 25 years old. He was bringing home $19/hour. He had a fancy car and all of the women, especially the older ones who would fall into his hold on them. They said it was “something” about him. They could not explain what! It was his “I think I can have whatever I want attitude” that drew people to him to see what makes his chest inflate so much. People would hang on his every word, because he never used the phrases: “I’m not sure”, “I don’t know” or “I’ve never heard of that.” He spoke with conviction and confidence that was unmatched. He went where he wanted to go and was invited to a lot of places that he didn’t.
   

Self-esteem will make or break your children, if you do not instill it into them. You must sing songs of how beautiful, how blessed and how important they are. You must do it SO much, that when the wolf, in sheep’s clothing comes along to sing those same praises to impress and conquer, she will be so bored for have being told something she’s heard a million times before, that she will NOT succumb to his evil tactics. Self-esteem also dressed as self-love is crucial to survival. A must have in your parenting lessons. Have you checked your lesson plan today?

Date: August 6, 2012

Name: Tamyara Brown

Title: The Beauty Within




My daughters are the hearts of me and sometimes they will ask you questions that will cause you to reflect back on your life. Alice is my eleven-year old and today she asked that question about what makes a woman beautiful. Each day our children’s thoughts are filled with images from the television and magazine put forth as beauty and for our teens today they are chasing after being the images of what they see. They are just looking for acceptance in this big world.

Alice got in my bed and lay next to me, turning the channels and the women on B.E.T were in the videos dressed half-naked and none looked like she does.  My daughter is a rich deep chocolate complexion, tall, and a beautiful smile. Yet, she has dealt with being called names because of her skin complexion and height. I know that it is affecting her self-esteem. She lay her head on my shoulder and asked, “What does it take to be beautiful?  Whenever I look at TV, beauty is a woman with nice clothes, a nice body, money, and their skin is light. Don't get me wrong I'm beautiful because my mama and daddy didn't make any ugly children but still I want your opinion on beauty. Is the definition of beauty what they show on TV?"

I sat there for a minute and I thought back to when I was young and I asked that same question to my mother who gave me her version of beauty. She described beauty as the perfection of your hair, your nails, your eyes had to be a light color, and your skin had to be light. I looked in the mirror and I didn’t have those qualities and for the longest time it wrecked havoc on my self-esteem. It made me feel so ugly inside and out.

I knew that I had to ensure my daughter that she was beautiful in every way. That God made no mistakes on her. I shared the words my Aunt Linda share with me about being confident in yourself and to always look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful. My Aunt Linda said, "Honey my beauty isn't my face, my behind, or big breasts. It’s how I carry myself as a woman. When I stride I walk with pride, I hold my head up and feel like a Queen at all times. What I give is respect and what I command is the same in return. I never ever let no one dictate my beauty because it is inside me shining out. If you feel ugly it will show on the outside no matter what you have on. My beauty is a combination of things. My charm is two arms long and no matter what, I am beautiful.”

As parents it is our responsibility to build up our children’s self-esteem. I’ve put a mirror in my girl’s room with the words “I am beautiful.” Unfortunately, some of our teenagers today are living in households where they are belittled and mistreated not only by their peers but parents. It is why some of our teens do and accept whatever to get attention they so crave.

I have made it a habit to let my daughters know how beautiful they are. I always hug my daughter and kiss her cheek saying, “You are Beautiful!”

August 6, 2012
Charlotte Marshall Templeman
Title: Knotty by Nature

   

 “Girl, I’m gonna get me a Puerto Rican so my kids can have good hair!” “Your hair is so nappy, you need a perm.” “Her hair is so pretty, she got that good stuff.”  “I wish I had good hair but I was born with this nigga hair.” For years we have heard these types of comments said about the hair of African American women. The question is where has this thinking come from? Is this a reflection of self-hate or just simply not being comfortable with the hair you’re in? Recently 16 year old gold medal winner Gabrielle Douglass has come under fire and cruel insults about her hair. There has been a massive support in her favor but there are still those who feel her hair is not “good” enough.  With the major accomplishment she has achieved at such a young age, why is her hair on trial? Instead of giving insults, we should all be showing her and the world how proud and honored we are. So once again, I ask is this a reflection of self-hate or just simply not being comfortable with the hair you’re in.
   

When Africans Americans first arrived in this country, we came wearing locks, braids and twist. Our hair was naturally coarse but our styles were unique. We embraced our heritage by wearing our hair this way. It was one of the only things we could still call our own. As our time in America progressed the way we thought about our hair changed. We were told by the slave master that our hair was “nappy and like wool” and not “good.” This began our thinking of good and bad hair and how we perceived ourselves. Light skinned African Americans whose hair was finer and more manageable was looked at as more valuable while the darker skinned African Americans were looked at as unattractive and worthless. It did not take long for African Americans to internalize this as the truth, thus beginning a separation by skin complexion and hair.

Wanting to be accepted by white America we began to develop their ideologies and what beauty meant to them, thus adopting it as our own. Madame C.J. Walker has been categorized as the first female self-made millionaire woman who developed a hair care line which would allow African American women to transform their hair from coarse to straight in a matter of hours.  Although her care line was very successful, she came under scrutiny for encouraging African American women to look white. During the 1930’s “conking” became just as popular. Conking was a treatment that straightened the hair but burned the scalp. If conking was not done, wigs were worn to cover the hair.  Over the years African American women have gotten perms and their hair pressed by the straightening comb to look a certain way. This new look came with a major price to the hair. If it was not done right it could cause hair loss and burning of the scalp because of the chemicals. Was the image of beauty we were trying to adopt worth it?
   

During the 60’s a new revelation emerged, a Renaissance. This rebirth brought about timeless literature from some of the greatest writers of all time. It also was a time where we began to re-embrace our heritage and our natural beauty.  Activist such as Angela Davis wore her Afro proud while James Brown sang, “I’m black and I’m proud. Say it loud.” African American women began to look at what made them different as the catalyst to what makes them beautiful.  If wigs were worn it was to enhance the way a woman wanted to look, but it did not define her beauty.  Many different hair styles were worn and the African American woman was versatile. She was beautiful.
   

Fast forward to today. African American women remain versatile in the way they wear their hair and the way they dress. We have set trends to which others try to imitate. Take the braids, for instance. Bo Derek loved the look so much that she had her hair braided and beaded, a look we wore in Africa generations before coming to this country. Unfortunately some of us continue to think that the straighter the hair, the better we look. From celebrities to the average woman, weaves are worn. Some wear them to look a certain way while others wear them because they hate the naturalness of their own hair. In hating their hair some African Americans will go to extremes to look like they have “good hair.” It’s as if the slave master has re-emerged in all the corner stores where hair can be bought and sewn in or glued in. The subliminal messages being you are more valuable and beautiful if you wear your hair straight as opposed to wearing it natural. The problem is not wearing weaves, wigs or extension. I believe that a woman should do whatever she needs to make herself feel good. However, the problem arises when you demean your natural beauty and adopt others’ thinking of what beauty is. In order to love yourself completely you have to accept yourself completely. That entails coarse hair, big hips, broad nose and thick lips. African American women are beautiful and always have been. Our beauty is unique and timeless. Our beauty is original.

Date: 7/22/2012   
Writer’s Name: S.F. Hardy       
Title: Embodied on the Inside Reflecting on the Outside


Self-esteem is an intangible element of one’s self embodied on the inside reflecting on the outside. Simply put, self-esteem is ones value for self. Dictionary.com defines self-esteem as: “A realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself.” Everyone possesses self-esteem whether it is high or low; although internal in nature, it is shaped by external influences that vary from one individual to another. Value of self will aide in the establishment of one’s path, dictating ones tolerance and outlook on life. A balanced self-esteem is warranted as too much esteem as well as very little, can both be destructive.   

The increasing number of suicides committed by young children should serve as a reminder to the importance of self-esteem building in the national community. Just as self-esteem is molded by external influences it is also torn down by such. Family, media, educational systems, and interaction with other children all shape children’s value of oneself.

“Go sit down fast tail girl,” Ms. Fisher yelled with a contorted face. The memory of my first grade performing arts teacher remains with me today. She almost broke my spirit, except I was surrounded by loved ones who had very positive offerings to offset Ms. Fisher’s negative ambivalence. I must admit, I was a very precocious young girl, but not without reason beyond my control. One, I was the youngest grandchild next to my brother, which meant I was always around adults, spending very little time with other children my age. But most significantly, at that time, I was being sexually molested by my maternal uncle causing me to act out in ways that was not becoming for a young lady.  Like Ms. Fisher, no one was aware what I was faced with at home, however, being an adult in a position to motivate and inspire, it would have been ideal for Ms. Fisher to attempt to determine the reasoning behind my behavior rather than break me down.

Rather than internalize Ms. Fisher’s negative underpinning, I learned indirectly how not to treat others. The summer of 2010 I had the great opportunity to student teach. As you can imagine, there were dozens of budding personalities in attendance, all special and unique. There was one young girl who stood out and it was not because she was pleasant. In fact, she was the exact opposite. While other staff whispered about the girl and her home life, I took it upon myself to develop a relationship with her. In doing so, I realized why she behaved the way she did. Although I didn’t condone it, I put myself in a position to help her change her behavior and attitude by talking with her and demonstrating behaviors different from what she was accustomed to. By the time summer school was over, the once unpleasant little girl had bloomed into a very personable young lady.


Although the building of self-esteem should begin at home it’s not realistic in this day and age to expect that it will in all cases. With more broken homes and less emphasis placed on family, media and the likes of music and music videos are replacing the human element of self-esteem building. With this, children, young girls in particular are taking what they see in videos from the images portrayed by the people in the videos as reality. When this reality cannot be met, the viewer’s self-esteem is affected negatively, ultimately leading to unhealthy self-destructive choices and behaviors. Misled children eventually become unguided adults who perpetuate unrealistic ideologies that affect the African-American community as a whole.

Programs underscoring the importance and development of self-esteem must be reinstated in schools. I remember the I Like Me contest, where children would draw pictures on how they perceived themselves. The illustrations were displayed in various public building throughout the city for all to view and learn from. This program was invaluable to the health and  self-esteem for inner city youth.


"If you empower women, you can change the world…” said Meg Ryan. Because women are natural born leaders, I believe it will take unity among us to build healthy well balanced self-esteem amongst girls and women in the African-American community. There are exercises, classes, web-sites and books that exist to aid in the development of self-esteem. First a common understanding must be realized in the weight self-esteem carries and then we have to all get involved in building the self-esteem of the youth and reversing unhealthy self-esteem of adults.

Each of us has a responsibility to endorse positive self-esteem if we are to see young women in our communities flourish to their full potential. Detroit authors, Sandra Epps author of Girl Power Discover the Princess Within and S.F. Hardy author of The Empress’ New Hair are making great strides to promote self-acceptance and self-esteem within their community.


Resources for developing positive self-esteem

http://sandyslandtips.blogspot.com/2012/01/8-girl-power-tips.html

http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/self_esteem.html

http://www.doorway-to-self-esteem.com/self-esteem-affirmations.html

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/

http://www.sandysland.com/

Date: July 22, 2012
Writer’s Name:  Nanette Buchanan
Title: A Jewel is Different with Each Mold


As You Grow Old

As a diamond is amongst the gems, a jewel is different with each mold

You are shaping and perfecting, in beauty and knowledge, as you grow old

Your creation and birth the beginning of development in life’s rut;

Your formation everlasting evidence of your parent’s love and God’s blessed touch.

Life will sometimes question your mold, hoping you will accept defeat.

As a diamond of value continue striving until you become complete.

As your life brings you constant change; lessons for your mind body and soul.

Remember you are a diamond amongst the gems

A jewel, a beauty with direction and purpose

As you grow old.

Thoughts and Reflections Copyright 2010 Nanette M. Buchanan


For many generations the lifeline of a woman focused on everyone but who she may have had the desire to be.  History has told us that women, even today’s diva, has to fight, march, and petition for equal rights.  The role of a woman more often was that of a wife, mother, hand maid, nanny, caregiver, nurse, etc.  These roles ingrained in many cultures, what was expected, what was tolerated and what was allowed.  Women didn’t complain, dared not speak against, and became overly submissive to the traditions that held them enslaved.  Following the paths of the females in their families and communities they would comfort each other when overwhelmed and depressed.  Self-esteem took a back seat to the needs they were and are required to fill.




In the American culture, the ideology of becoming a wife and a mother was the dream of every young woman.  It was the fantasy, the fairytale and in other cultures this expected life was “prearranged” and fulfilled when the girl became of age.  The term, “You’ve come a long way baby,” a statement for a cigarette ad in the late sixties fits today’s woman.  The woman of years past had no idea who she was or who she was capable of becoming.  Women could only tell their daughters of the life they lived, the rules they followed, and at best how well they cooked, took care of the family and supported their spouse.  Girls were taught to hide their beauty, intelligence, and possibilities.  Being independent was frowned upon; being determined to achieve was considered abrasive and unlike a true woman.  These women who led the campaign for women’s rights, equality, and the right to discuss woman’s issues openly won.  Since that Virginia Slim cigarette commercial we have indeed progressed.  Throughout the United States women are treated fairly in jobs, are given educational opportunities, and we don’t have to marry the man chosen by our parents and family.  However, that doesn’t negate the fact that many of us, females of all ages have insecurity problems.  We are still in search of who we are and we can’t possibly know or understand who the generations behind us think they are.




From birth to puberty we promote the appearance of our “princesses.” We buy the latest fashion, care for their skin and hair, and photo after photo depicts what we focus on - what the public sees. It can be proven that by the time the princess is a “tween,” as puberty kicks in for the eleven or twelve year old, that she too is concerned about her external appearance.  Their value is more materialistic and they are determined to have it all, the best.  




Most of society views these young girls as fast.  The traditional young lady has vanished.  Morals, values, and self-respect should be taught long before the young lady can match fashion.  We’ve moved away from tradition.  Teaching our girls how to love themselves, and their bodies is imperative.  This lesson will bring value to who they are as well as promote self-respect.  Puberty brings about changes both physically and emotionally, and the new body creates new responsibilities.  These years require family support and a voice that most girls suppress hoping to be noticed and not ignored.  It is not popular to be different.  Unfortunately peers have a major influence on how teenagers present themselves.  If one’s self-skills have not been instilled prior to puberty a young women’s resources are limited.  




Who they are and who they will be must be determined as they toddle through the home.  Parenting, guidance, and love will promote a healthy mind and body.  Once in place the choices of dress, who they surround themselves with, and their dreams will be predetermined.  Building one’s self-esteem balances life’s scale of reality and fantasy.  




In today’s society there are more self-help books, counseling sessions, group therapy, and talk shows that focus on one getting in touch with who they are.  The best therapy is teaching what is and has been valued since the creation of women.  Women have a purpose.  This statement in itself stands firmly on ones understanding of their personal morals and self-respect.    From head to toe the outward appearance reflects time consuming care.  Caring or covering is the question.
Covering their outward beauty diminishes the internal beauty.  




The destruction of one’s self-esteem is as bad as them not recognizing its necessity.  It seems we’ve gone back one hundred years.  Women have allowed the people they love to walk over them crushing what they need to be stable.  Growing up in a dysfunctional home, one that lacks emotional support and love can deter a young girl from ever being satisfied with her self-worth. Being outcast by their peers and family, only promotes the cycle to continue.  When one values themselves based on how others treat them, negatives will cause a lack of trust and depression.  Abuse, both verbal and physical carries from relationship to relationship opening emotional wounds.  Only those who believe in who they are will survive.  The foundation of one’s survival, the strength to rise above the obstacles, lies within knowing who they are, what they want to be and what they value.  The greatest love of all is built on self-esteem.

Date:  07/16/2012
Writer’s Name: Tyeisha Downer
Title: Fairytales can come true if you believe in them

Once upon a time there was a shy bashful girl named Ruby that lived on a house on a hill and every day after school, she rushed home with tears streaming down her face from all of the mean comments she received at school about her appearance. It was a very painful time for Ruby. She had recently lost her mother to cancer and felt all alone in a cold world where no one understood her; she felt like she marched to the beat of her own drum.

When she was younger her mother read the Cinderella story to her and reminded her that she was a beautiful princess and told her never to forget that even when she was long gone. One day long ago Ruby’s mother called Ruby to her room and when Ruby entered the room her mother instructed her to take a seat at the foot of the bed and let me read your favorite fairytale, Cinderella. Ruby’s mother read each page and when she reached the final page, she closed the book and reached for Ruby’s hand and stated never forget that you are a princess even when the world and people treat you like you’re not. Never forget who you are and yourself worth. Ruby smiled and replied, ‘Mom I promise that I will never forget.’ She hugged her mother tightly and kissed her cheek gently and rushed out the door. The next morning when Ruby rushed to her mother’s room she found her there lifeless. Ruby was crushed and didn’t have anyone to turn to. She was lost and became reckless and as time went by, Ruby lost her way and broke her promise to her mother.




The moral to the story is that you never know what another person is going through until you actually place your own feet in their shoes.  Many don’t realize that many things can ruin your self-esteem. Being physically or verbally abused only points out a couple of the underlying issues. What about emotional turmoil from individuals whom you thought loved you or loosing that one person in your life that reminded you that you were a princess even when you didn’t feel like you were one?

Many young women start taking themselves on a journey that could lead to a never ending one if they don’t handle it with caution. Women are naturally emotional human beings. So many of us operate on emotion instead of common sense. We look for love in all the wrong places trying to fill a void that exists deep down in our hearts. We give our mind, body, and spirit to individuals whom are not deserving of it and then after we realize this we have already damaged our self-esteem and crushed our hearts; we fill emptier than we ever felt before and once again we go and search for that knight and shining armor to come and take away the pain and place us on his magical horse then ride us off into the sunset. Sometimes you meet that knight that is capable of doing just that, but this is very rare in most cases. And the other times we meet the man that appears to be a prince, but is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Far too often is this the one that we adore and after we give our heart yet again we find ourselves right back in the same situation that we thought we were delivered from. Our situation goes from bad to worse. We become crushed and our self-esteem goes down even more.

But I came with good news! It’s not too late to regain your self-esteem. Take the time to reintroduce yourself to yourself. Ladies, remember that you are a princess even when the world and people try to convince you otherwise. Fairytales can come true if you believe in them. Take time to realize that you’re beautiful even when you feel unappealing. Try to focus on your short and long term goals and place your energy on yourself and making YOU better and everything will fall into place. Ladies, self-esteem comes from you and you don’t need anyone to make you feel special. Just know that you are a princess. Fairytales are real and they start with you.

Date: July 16, 2012

Writer’s Name: Charlotte Templeman

Title: Will the Real Black Woman Stand Up?

The black woman. Who is she? Some would think she is the mother of civilization, giving life to every race known to man. The black woman is a beautiful, strong, hard-working individual who is loved by some and envied by others. The black woman is made up of different complexions, sizes and shapes. She is vanilla, mocha, and dark chocolate brown with long hair, short hair, natural hair or no hair. Her size can range from petite, thick and full figured and her height, short, average or tall. The black woman is versatile. She can crack her gum, speak Ebonics and be loud around her girls one minute and in the next facilitate a business meeting for her fortune 500 company co-workers while wearing her Armani suit. The black woman is a mother, wife, daughter and sister. She is unique and priceless. She is one of a kind. However, within the last five years I have noticed a different perception of who the black woman is and why often time’s people think she is single. The ironic thing is the group of people with this new, or should I say, more vocal perception is not of another race but of our own. It is the black man. I have found that not all black men feel this way, but a lot of them do.

   

So who is the black woman? Lately I’ve been hearing she is too aggressive, too independent, not supportive of the black man, loud and obnoxious and unwilling to compromise the type of man she dates. White collar or blue collar, those are just a few of the perceptions of black women that have somehow become the signature of all black women. Is it true? I would be lying to myself if I did not admit there are some black women who possess these qualities, but in the same breath I can say women of different races can as well. These characteristics are not exclusive only to us. So why do some black men feel this way?

   

For years the black woman has had to carry a tremendous load, sometimes by herself. She is the primary care giver of the family where she has taken the role of mother and father. Most times she does it with a smile, although she is anything but happy. At work she may not be as respected as her other female counterparts who do not look like her. Often times she is the brains behind the scenes but her work and expertise go unnoticed. She works hard within her community, is involved with her child’s education and she is independent. Everything she has, she has worked for and acquired on her own.  Along the way she has become used to being alone and maintaining alone. For some black men, this is where the problem comes in. Some men tend to think because a black woman can take care of herself that he is not needed. That is false. Everyone woman I know would love to have the comfort of a companion but maintain her independence as well.  As much as we would love for our relationships to last forever like they do in fairytales, sometimes they do not. If and when the relationship is over, the black woman has to continue to go on with business as usual. Maintaining her independence will allow her to do that. Being able to take care of herself and her family alone if need be is pivotal to her because so often she has had to do it solo.

   

The black woman has worked hard to obtain a valuable education, good career, nice home and other things she want. If she was in a relationship while working to improve her life, nine out of ten times she wanted the same thing for her mate. She will be the cheerleader when he feels he cannot go on and she will motivate him to go on. The black woman realizes that if she invests in her man she is investing in her future. As the saying goes, “behind every good man is a strong good woman.”  Black women can be very supportive of their mate if need be, but if she feels he is not working to improve his own life she can become distant and ultimately end the relationship. This doesn’t mean she feels she is too good for him, but it does mean she is not willing to settle for a person who isn’t willing to acquire the things he needs to better his own life.

   

A lot of the negative perceptions of black women can be a result of images we see in the media, such as television and movies. Black women are often portrayed as loud and unruly, too aggressive, head twisting, finger snapping women who are gold diggers wanting a man to take care of them. However, that is not all of us. Quite a few of us are educated, career minded, hard-working individuals who tend to not settle for anything or anyone less.  There is nothing wrong with a black woman who has obtained certain things in her life to want the same in her mate. There is nothing wrong with an independent black woman who knows she can take care of herself but is willing to share her life with the right man with the same values. There is nothing wrong with a strong black woman who can smile in the face of adversity and move on. There is nothing wrong with a black woman who stands proud and tall in all of her accomplishments. I would think that would be the type of woman a man would want.

   

As I previously stated there are some black women with the above characteristics I mentioned earlier. But in reality it’s not about black women. It is about the individual and who they are. A group of people cannot be stereotyped based off the experiences of some. Yes black men you may have come across some loud, obnoxious, aggressive black women in your travels. However, I’m sure you’ve also come across some soft spoken, polite, non-confrontational black women as well. In the end we all need to be looked upon as individuals because it’s not the entire black women race you’re trying to get to know, it’s just one. Focus on her and what she has to offer. After all, the black woman is the most beautiful, strong, priceless gem that you may ever acquire. If you take care of her she will definitely take care of you.