Date:   November 13, 2012
Writers Name:  Rosey Denise White
Title: Preventing Bullying is Everybody’s Business

For some unbeknown reason, many seem preferable having limited discussions on sensitive issues that are often complicated.  Uncomfortable territories like incest, rape, sexual orientation, and others go unnoticed on purpose; particularly within the black family unit.  Bullying is no different despite it being an issue that can affect everyone.  Bullying is not a cultural issue, it is a community problem nationwide.  According to www.bullyingstatisics.org, almost half of all primary and secondary education students will experience bullying incidents during their time spent at school.

In recent years, the media has brought more attention to the bullying trend. This is due in part to the increase in violence that bullying has produced. Unfortunately many children and teenagers are succumbing to the pressures of bullying through suicide.  Several bullying victims have taken their own lives leaving the parents with burdens of grief, and misunderstanding.    Earlier this year, a seven year old boy was found hanging from a bunk bed with a belt around his neck, this is according to the Detroit News.  It was reported the boy, who has not been publically named, was depressed due to teasing at school because he was the only boy in a family of eight girls.   Unfortunately, events like these will only increase unless a stronger awareness about bullying infects the community.   

The only sure way to provide an effective solution to any problem is by first understanding it. Bullying is not merely childhood teasing.  Bullying is described as intimidation or domination toward a perceived weaker person.   This is not always achieved with physical violence; bullying can be both verbal and emotional without provocation.  Some of the warning signs of a child who is being bullied include depression, declined school performance and fear of school.  Because these warning signs could be associated with other issues, it is important for parents and educators to discuss bullying directly. Create an environment of trust and ask children outright if they are being bullied in school.  Encourage them to speak freely about any issues they experience themselves or witness in school.   It is also a good idea to identify if your child is a bully.  Children and teens who are bullies may show warning signs of extreme aggression.  He or she may view violence as a solution to problems and may also display signs of frustration easily.  Developing honest communication is paramount to combating bullying.   Information can assist adults in accessing the temperature of bullying in the school and community.  Knowledge enables adults to work with educators to create a plan of action and support.

Bullying is a serious behavior that damages the self-esteem of the victim as well as the perpetrator. One in seven kids is bullied and an average of 160,000 kids nationwide miss school every day due to fear of being bullied.   These statistics prove that bullying deserves meaningful discussions.   We are all charged with the responsibility of providing safe environments for children to learn, interact and enjoy.   Bullying cannot be the exception to this golden rule.  Become involved in your child’s life by discussing the effects of bullying. Ensure that someone you love is not an aggressor or becomes a victim.  

Date: 11/19/2012   
Writer’s Name: S.F. Hardy
Title: New Bullies on the Block

We have all heard of school bullying. As adults, we have most likely experienced or know of someone who has experienced work place bullying but today, I want to discuss what I call neighborhood bullies. No, not the ones we encountered as a child walking to the store or those who like to separate themselves in a click and not play with certain children. I’m speaking of the ones that take over the neighborhood by loitering in front of the homes on your block; the ones that create a nuisance to the neighbors who work hard at keeping their homes and neighborhood safe and looking good.

On a frigid February day in 2010, my husband and I stepped into a deceptively small home for the very first time with realtors leading us. Only from the inside could we decipher the enormous square footage the home held; and although the house was not in the best cosmetic condition, when I stepped foot in the library I knew this would be our home.

In my excitement and haste to get to work on time, I was totally oblivious to the liquor store on the corner. Had I noticed it, I would have thought twice about bidding on the home I would soon call mine. The deadline was midnight that same evening and I did not visit the house until afterwards which I then became aware of the liquor store and all the traffic that it attracted. What have I done, I thought to myself. Not wanting to lose our “good faith deposit” my husband and I proceeded on with purchasing the home.

Much to our prediction—our block is hot! The day we closed on the home the house was broken into. I’m not sure what the perpetrators could have been searching for because the house was empty and had already been previously been stripped in the two or so years it sat vacant. Now that the frost began to thaw, it was apparent that we had more than the liquor store six houses down and across the street to be concerned about as groups of men who regularly congregated outside in front of two homes on the block attracting traffic, noise and garbage pollution.

As you may have guessed our neighbors appeared to have been trafficking drugs. My suspicions were confirmed this summer when I witnessed with my own two perfectly good eyes a very overt drug transaction; I was livid to say the least. I couldn’t believe the blatant disrespect that took place before me. What happened to discretion?! There are children and seniors on this block for God’s sake!

At this very moment, beyond anger I felt powerless, helpless and backed into a corner. I felt as if the dealers were taunting my neighbors and I saying, “we can do what we want to do and what you gonna’ do about it?” I took seeing two white men in a fancy car buy drugs without even getting out of their car very personal. I felt bullied because I had to refrain from acting on my first impulse to say something to both the buyers and the dealers. I knew if I acted I could possibly start a war that innocent people such as my child may suffer the consequences as a result. Moving was an option but it wasn’t. Why should I let someone push me away from my home, that is paid for, that I love? How could I leave without even putting up a fight? I couldn’t and I didn’t.

Think, I told myself as I tried to calm down. I decided that in order to combat being bullied, I would have to demand that my block be safe by making phone calls and writing letters. I received little to no response for my efforts. However, some of the nuisance dissipated as the houses that were once vacant are now lived in. I’m embarrassed for my city and state to report I never received a response from the politicians, media or authorities in regards to the matter. I spoke to other homeowners on the block who tried the same tactics before me with no avail.

I shake my head as I walk down the rest of my street which is adorned by beautiful well maintained homes and manicured homes absent of the rift raft that my family, neighbors and I are faced with on our block. As the winter season approaches I am working on a plan to spearhead a block club that will stand with me against the evils that may destroy our community.


Although I want these young men to cease and decease what they are doing to destroy our community I don’t think jail is the answer I’m seeking. I would like to see more programs created to eliminate the need or desire to sell drugs; a topic for another article coming to readers soon.

Date:  October 8, 2012
Writer’s Name:  Nanette M. Buchanan
Title: This is a reason to fight.

My grandmother had a saying, “Pick and choose your battles; you may find it will be better to fight another day.”  Throughout my life these words have been my answer to many senseless confrontations. The way my grandmother handled confrontations seemed funny as I grew older, and I find myself today asking too often, “Why didn’t they walk away?”  The bible says, “Turn the other cheek.”  I don’t believe anyone today, when confronted with a bully, thinks about turning the other cheek.  

Bullying has become major.  Children are put out of school, employees who create a hostile working environment are suspended or fired, and the fight back attitude has been put in place. As a child, my popularity and social environment would give one the impression that I had more friends than enemies. There were those who may have been jealous about my talents, about my ability to maintain an above level grade in school, or an appealing personality.  I never was bullied.  I, just as others, learned early that if you didn’t stop a bully their antics would continue.  Step to them with reason and if it turned into a fight, you pick your battle.  In my group of friends we had a few that cried when they were the blunt of a joke.  There were those who never spoke up and agreed with everyone and everything, scared they would become an outcast.  Not many of my generation had to fight off bullies.  We were confident and it showed; we were close and people knew it.

As the years passed on, I worried how my children would fare in school by themselves.  I worried like all parents, praying that my children enjoyed school, their classmates, and the activities they participated in.  I watched for the signs.  I questioned, were they intimidated? Were there any problems with anyone?  I gave them the same words my grandmother gave me.  Throughout their childhood they too were confident and they too avoided the bullies.  

Reading and watching the news, I will admit that I never thought that the actions of a bully would warrant policing and a campaign.  Bullies no longer make contorted faces, teasing the girls or taunt the quiet boy.  The acts have become violent. The ultimate punishment has been prison.  The National Crime Prevention Council states, “Bullying has become a tidal wave of epic proportions. Although bullying was once considered a rite of passage, parents, educators, and community leaders now see bullying as a devastating form of abuse that can have long-term effects on youthful victims, robbing them of self-esteem, isolating them from their peers, causing them to drop out of school, and even prompting health problems and suicide.

A recent study by the Family and Work Institute reported that one-third of youth are bullied at least once a month, while others say six out of 10 American teens witness bullying at least once a day. Witnessing bullying can be harmful, too, as it may make the witness feel helpless - or that he or she is the next target.

Children who are bullied are often singled out because of a perceived difference between them and others, whether because of appearance (size, weight, or clothes), intellect, or, increasingly, ethnic or religious affiliation and sexual orientation. Bullying can be a gateway behavior, teaching the perpetrator that threats and aggression are acceptable even in adulthood.  In one study by Fight Crime: Invest in Kids, nearly 60 percent of boys whom researchers classified as bullies in grades six to nine were convicted of at least one crime by the age of 24, while 40 percent had three or more convictions.”  

The behavior of the bully has not changed, the violent acts have.  Bullies terrorize their homes, schools, communities and the lives of many.  It has a snowball effect on the education of our youth and on the safety of the schools and the neighborhoods.  To question our children daily is no longer an effective way to diminish the acts of the bully.  Gangs are recruiting youth in Middle Schools across the country, their method - bully tactics.  The bully’s threat becomes a fear forcing the victim to either fight back or succumb to the violence.

Exposing the bully is not always the best answer for the victim.  Retaliation is often the choice.   We must confront the matter, but first we must understand the facts.


Make Beats not Beat Downs reports:

The numbers continue to rise every month..
- It is estimated that 160,000 children miss school every day due to fear of attack or intimidation by other students. Source: National Education Association.
- American schools harbor approximately 2.1 million bullies and 2.7 million of their victims. Dan Olweus, National School Safety Center.
- 1 in 7 Students in Grades K-12 is either a bully or a victim of bullying.
- 56% of students have personally witnessed some type of bullying at school.
- 15% of all school absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied at school.
- 71% of students report incidents of bullying as a problem at their school.
- 1 out of 20 students has seen a student with a gun at school.
- 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.
- Those in the lower grades reported being in twice as many fights as those in the higher grades. However, there is a lower rate of serious violent crimes in the elementary level than in the middle or high schools.
- 90% of 4th through 8th graders report being victims of bullying
- Among students, homicide perpetrators were more than twice as likely as homicide victims to have been bullied by peers.
- Bullying statistics say revenge is the strongest motivation for school shootings.
- 87% of students said shootings are motivated by a desire to “get back at those who have hurt them.”
- 86% of students said, “other kids picking on them, making fun of them or bullying them” causes teenagers to turn to lethal violence in the schools.
- 61% of students said students shoot others because they have been victims of physical abuse at home.
- 54% of students said witnessing physical abuse at home can lead to violence in school.
- According to bullying statistics, 1 out of every 10 students who drops out of school does so because of repeated bullying.
- Harassment and bullying have been linked to 75% of school-shooting incidents.

Suicide remains among the leading causes of death of children under 14. And in most cases, the young people die from hanging. (AAS)

A new review of studies from 13 countries found signs of an apparent connection between bullying, being bullied, and suicide. (Yale School of Medicine)

Suicide rates among children between the ages of 10 & 14 are very low, but are "creeping up." (Ann Haas, Director of the Suicide Prevention Project at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention)

The suicide rate among young male adults in Massachusetts rose 28 percent in 2007. However, that does not reflect deaths among teenagers and students Carl's age. (Massachusetts Dept. of Public Health, in a report released April 8, 2009)

Since 2002, at least 15 schoolchildren ages 11 to 14 have committed suicide in Massachusetts. Three of them were Carl's age. ("Constantly Bulled, He Ends His Life at Age 11," by Milton J. Valencia. The Boston Globe, April 20, 2009)

Suicide rates among 10 to 14-year-olds have grown more than 50 percent over the last three decades. (The American Association of Suicidology, AAS)

In 2005 (the last year nationwide stats were available), 270 children in the 10-14 age group killed themselves. (AAS)

Bullying can take many forms but it usually includes the following types of behavior:
• Physical – hitting, kicking, pinching, punching, scratching, spitting or any other form of physical attack. Damage to or taking someone else’s belongings may also constitute as physical bullying.
• Verbal – name calling, insulting, making racist, sexist or homophobic jokes, remarks or teasing, using sexually suggestive or abusive language, offensive remarks
• Indirect – spreading nasty stories about someone, exclusion from social groups, being made the subject of malicious rumours, sending abusive mail, and email and text messages (cyber bullying).
• Cyber Bullying - any type of bullying that is carried out by electronic medium. There are 7 types including:
1. Text message bullying
2. Picture/video clip bullying via mobile phone cameras
3. Phone call bullying via mobile phones
4. E-mail bullying
5. Chat-room bullying
6. Bullying through instant messaging (IM)
7. Bullying via websites



These statistics and other internet sources, campaigns, and support groups give us a reason to fight.  No one should live in fear and the bully in the third grade today could be a murderer years from now.  It is our job to watch for these signs, listen to our youth and what they struggle with in their friendships. Pick the battle. This is a reason to fight.

Date: 8/13/2012

Writer’s Name: S.F. Hardy

Title: Stop Bullying: It Hurst Everybody

Bullying is not a recent or even unknown issue facing school age children. However, the methods in which bullying takes place, as well as the results and reactions of the victims and consequences have evolved throughout the years. One would think that with time bullying would have decreased, but it has only grown into a larger problem forcing society to acknowledge it in attempts to admonish the not so nice behaviors.

“Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose,” according to Stop Bullying, a government website dedicated to the deterrence, prevention, and ending of bullying.

As a result of the soaring numbers of bullying in Michigan, the state has mandated that schools erupt and/or revise anti-bullying policies. According to the Huffington Post, as of June 2012, “413 of Michigan's 862 school districts and charters schools have submitted their anti-bullying policies.”

The Detroit Free Press reports “A Pew Research Center study conducted in 2011 found 88% of young people who use social media reported seeing others being “mean or cruel” on social networking sites.” Cyber Bullying has become very prevalent in the past few years and is just as harmful, if not more, than physical bullying. Cyber bullying too often leads to physical altercations including: fights, attempted suicide, and murder. Cyber tormentors use digital media such as social networks like: Facebook and MySpace to harass their victims. Text messages and e-mails are also platforms used to pursue unwanted havoc. Just recently, I witnessed a drive by shooting that followed a group of girls arguing in the middle of the street, hitting cars with hammers, while bystanders stood by and encouraged the negative behavior. Sadly, one of the provokers was shot. But not before the police was called to the scene by a concerned neighbor who had the foresight to know what would take place. When it was all said and done, it was divulged that the impetus of the shooting was over a festering Facebook torment. 

Like all things, there is a first step to prevention and ceasing of bullying. In this case acknowledging that bullying exists on both large and small scales is paramount to dealing with the problem. Realization that no one is exempt from being bullied is the next step. Developing ways to prevent bullying on the home front as well as in institutions is another step that must be taken to alleviate a society of bullying. Parents, educators, medical professionals, neighbors and celebrities alike must come together in the name of prevention and ending the cyclical behavior of bullying.

Learn the warning signs of the bully and the bullied. No parent wants to learn that their child is a bully or that they are being bullied. However, in efforts to prevent either, parents must be armed with the knowledge that bullying is taking place.

Signs that a Child is Being Bullied (StopBullying.com)

Unexplainable injuries

Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry

Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness

Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.

Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares

Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school

Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations

Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem

Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide

 

Signs that a Child is Bullying Others (StopBullying.com)

Get into physical or verbal fights

Have friends who bully others

Are increasingly aggressive

Get sent to the principal’s office or to detention frequently

Have unexplained extra money or new belongings

Blame others for their problems

Don’t accept responsibility for their actions

Are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity

The mere fact that most of us have been bullied should be motivation enough to aid in the prevention at all cost. Children are being hurt senselessly while many adults turn a blind eye. Bullying is a big deal and it is not to be ignored or it will be perceived as acceptable tolerable behavior. Children must look to adults to model their behavior after, so this means all adults are responsible for changing the unwanted behaviors we see the children of our future exhibiting. After all, children who are bullies that go unchecked grow into adult bullies that will have a profound effect on all of us. Bullying also leads to unhealthy conditions and behaviors such as mental health and substance abuse issues.

As adults, we must first display healthy behaviors that we want children to exhibit. We cannot teach them not to bully and we display behavior the spells bullying. We must also open the dialogue to bullying early on, emphasizing that those who bully do so because they don’t feel good about themselves. Children must also be armed with realistic coping skills. And help for the victims as well as the tormentors such as sensitivity training and efficacy building, should be available within various community organizations. 

For more information on bullying visit:

http://www.pacer.org/bullying/

http://www.stopbullying.gov/

http://detroitk12.org/resources/bully/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/07/detroit-public-schools-bullying-policy_n_1575718.html

 

Date: 07/07/12
Writer’s Name: Dominique Wilkins       
Title: Stand Your Ground and Do What’s Right!

   

As time goes on, it is obvious to anyone who has their eyes open that the world we live in gets worse as the days go by. If this is a surprise to you, I apologize for being the bearer of bad news. This is the truth. Everyone has a guess as to when the world is going to end; no one knows for sure, but all of the guesses are falling between now and very soon. As you wake up and turn on the news and watch the stories replayed from all around the world, it is clear that either the anchors have an excellent talent in telling horror stories or the domination of bad news has taken over our lives. It spans from the weather to the way children can demean another child so extensively that they are driven to suicide! Children!
   

As late as yesterday, I watched the news as they discussed how a woman posted a video on Facebook, showing her instigating a fight between her baby and another young child. I believe the report stated the girls’ ages to be around 8 or 9 years old. The aggressor continued to attack the other child who was unable to defend herself on the video. For anyone who wonders where the bullying epidemic comes from, I believe this video may provide some clarity. Of course kids will be kids, but they are taught to handle things in a more civil and structured manner through teachings and examples given and reinforced by their parents, teachers and the police. If the same people that are supposed to be teaching corrective behavior are instead encouraging destructive behavior, where does that leave us?
   

Bullying is only one of the more serious problems that are plaguing our communities. We have so many to fight. My son was personally a victim of an extreme bullying situation where he ended up being committed to a mental hospital for almost two weeks. In his case, I blamed it solely on the adults on the school’s payroll. They refused to protect him. They refused to acknowledge his cries for help and keep the repeat offenders off of him. In the past, I would laugh at kids that mimic their parents when they say they are stressed out! Now, I believe that even children can be stressed out. They can go through extreme abuse at school and come home and possibly be neglected there.  I believe that in my son’s case, he had told the teacher, while I told the security, administration and the principal. After all of that, with no suspensions, expulsions or parent conferences, my son had concluded that no one cared. I concluded that the school made money off of the children being in attendance and preferred them to be in school wreaking havoc on their classmates and teachers for funding instead of removing them, to provide a safe and welcoming learning environment for children who wanted to be there.
   

There are several factors overall that contribute to this epidemic:   One is the fact that there are babies having babies. When I was a child, I could not possibly entertain the thought of handling my problems by walking away or talking it out. How can we expect the teenage youth to multiply and teach something that they personally have not grasped?
   

 Another factor is the death of respect and the birth of fear. In this time period that we live in now, the youth no longer have the respect that the older generation grew up with as a way of life. Years ago, there were rules that were well known and followed. For example: It was understood, that when an adult was around, if your conversation or language was not appropriate, you would not speak loud enough for the adult to hear it or would simply relocate. In addition to that, if an adult confronted you, your only rebuttal would be to beg for forgiveness or attempt to desperately explain the misunderstanding to avoid punishment. These key breaks in the rules have caused widespread mayhem amongst the communities. Adults fear confronting children or even being in their midst, in view of the fact that it can cause a seriously adverse effect, with the child being the aggressor.  Often, these confrontations, proven by the news, could end up in an attack on the adult or even death. With this knowledge, many people become less interested in intervention and more interested in life preservation!  No consequences opens the door for bad and worse behavior by kids who bully that grow into adults who bully as well.
   

Unfortunately, the world has become a “dog-eat-dog” place. Only the strong will survive and not for long. Eventually, with no boundaries, even they will not last long. The difference will only be made when the times of old come rolling back in - when love, respect, and trust make a come-back. Until then, we can only pray for peace and change. Without it, our single efforts can be futile…

Date:    June 25, 2012
Author: Norlita Brown
Title: UNDERSTANDING THE TACTICS





Jayden stood, arms folded across his chest tightly. He bit the inside of his lip in hopes of controlling the anger that was steadily rising within him, threatening to cause another outburst. It would be another scene that would leave him sitting before the principal adding more pages to an already thick file. It would be yet another call home to his mother asking that she pick up her son whom they had already labeled as incorrigible. No one understood the depths of his pain. No one was there for him right now, through the taunting and teasing. He tried hard not to let their words get to him, but as the numbers increased in the crowd, the spectators were making him angrier.

He was different from the other children who were bullied but the internal scars that came from it were the same.

“You know boys ain’t bisexual, Jayden. You either gay or you straight, you foul,” the boy said as he snickered. The crowd erupted in laughter cheering the little boy on.

That was it. That was all that Jayden would allow the boy to say before he took the text book that he carried and slung it hard. It landed exactly where he wanted it to, upside the boys head. Huffing, Jayden ran toward the boy and pushed him to the ground.

“Who or what I am has nothing to do with you, so keep my name out of your mouth.” Jayden said as he stood over the boy, feet planted firm, fists pumping, ready for battle.

This scene has so many variations because bullying comes in so many forms. It also has many vehicles. I was mocked as a teen and called names, the emotional scars still reside within me. At times they will rear up from within my soul causing self-doubt in the strength of the woman I have become. There are moments in time that threaten to remain with me. A place of healing is foreign to me as it is too many who are the victims of bullying. There are many who at 13, 15 and 16 years old have decided that the bullying was too much for them to bare and have taken the life that God gave them as a means to an end.

I never understood why someone felt ridiculing someone else was a form of entertainment. Neither have I understood what makes one person believe that they are so much better than everyone else that they now have the God-given right to taunt and tease another person for whatever makes them unique. I believe everyone should strive to be their own person, uniquely defined. If I could speak to every small child that is being bullied, I would encourage them to not let the words that are being slung their way discourage them for being who they are, but inspire them, knowing that if what they’re doing has caused others to take notice, then they are definitely on the right path.

I presented this topic to my niece, Rachel Wynn who is fifteen years old to gain enlightenment from our youth. Her intelligence on the subject was nothing short of amazing. Here is what she had to say:

 

As human beings one of our greatest instincts is to protect ourselves and generally others from harm. As parents you usually indulge all the grief of your child to keep them happy and to protect them from negative outside influences. No matter if your child is mentally disabled, gay, fat, or cripple, you tell them from early on that everything will be fine, that they are beautiful, and just a little different from some others. You try to push all the negative consequences your child could face away because of their way of life. In reality we know that as humans we fight against everything we don’t understand, everything that is different from what we are used to, everything that is not of our beliefs. The question is where do you draw the line of ignorance from the line of pure hate? And how do we protect ourselves from it?

 

In many cases of bullying these questions seem very simple but most difficult to answer. Who are we to blame for the make-up of one human being? Who are we to blame if your child is dyslexic, or is overweight, skinny, gay, short, or “ugly”? Over the passing of time, humans have manifested the idea what the perfect woman should consist of and what the perfect man should physically and mentally be capable of doing. All of the various personalities and physical make-ups in people would cancel out all the expectations of what the perfect man or woman should be. Until the day comes that people see everyone as their own person and not judge them by how they are different from the next person, the chapter of the epidemic of bullying will never conclude in the history of the human race.

 

Bullying consist of verbal, cyber, and physical abuse. The first step to curing bullying is by finding the source of their being. The second step would be to find the bully’s upbringing and or life history and their reason for bullying. In most cases the second step is most difficult to consult because the reasons for most bullying are insecurities and ignorance.  

Here is the bottom line, bullying is killing our children emotionally and physically. It is my belief that it begins at home. Many times the person who is bullying is dealing with issues of their own and rather than dealing with their own issues they take their frustrations out on others who they view as inferior or weaker than they are. My plea is to work on strengthening our youth - those who are bullying and especially the ones who are being bullied. Seek to help the underdog but don’t forsake the dog because both are in dire need of positive attention to help gear their lives on a positive path. Let’s start becoming active participants with our children. We need them to be strong for the next generation.

June 17, 2012

Charlotte Templeman

Title: Enough is Enough: Together Let’s Stop Bullying

   

Tanya was a shy 12 year old girl who did not have many friends. She was the youngest of five children and her parents struggled and worked hard to take care of her and her siblings. They lived in a small apartment and often times had to get help from the neighbors. Tanya did not wear the latest designer clothes but her mother made sure she was neat and clean everyday she went to school. As much as she tried to fit in she could not. Her peers thought she wasn’t good enough and she definitely didn’t look the part. Because of this, Tanya was the object of name calling, taunting and even sometimes hitting. This abuse from her peers caused her to withdraw even more at home and in school. Her mother noticed the drastic change and tried to help her but was unsuccessful. Being picked on constantly at home and in her neighborhood, Tanya decided it was too much to bear. One night while at home alone she took her own life. She left a note saying, “I’m sorry mom and dad but it was too much. I’m better off this way and now at least no one will hurt me.”

  

 Although the above story is fiction, there are thousands of cases like this across the country. Children are being bullied at an alarming high rate in our schools and communities and as adults we have to stop this behavior.  There are children who are afraid to go to school daily for fear of being taunted or ridiculed because of who they are. Usually children who have been deemed as an outcast are genuinely the target of bullying. Children who are not perceived as popular, well dressed, attractive or social butterflies tend to be the ones targeted. This is not always the case but often times the reason given by the person doing the bullying.

   

According to the website Stopbullying.gov there are three types of bullying.  They are verbal, social, and physical.  Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. It consists of name calling, teasing, taunting, inappropriate sexual comments and threatening to cause harm. This type of bullying is very common and is often used as the beginning of the abuse. Social bullying is hurting someone’s reputation or relationship. It consists of leaving someone out on purpose (sporting games, group project, etc.); telling other children not to be their friends; and spreading rumors and embarrassing someone. This type of bullying is also common and is usually the next step in bullying someone. Last but not least is physical bullying which is hurting a person’s body or possessions. It consist of hitting, spitting, kicking, taking or breaking someone’s things or making mean or rude hand gestures. Once the bullying has escalated to this point it is very serious and often times the person experiencing this abuse is not going to tell out of fear.

   

In order to prevent bullying in our schools and neighborhoods we have to first admit there is a problem. Once we have done that there has to be a safe haven for children to go to. They have to feel safe, secure and free to speak about what is being done to them. Judgment from the adults cannot be a factor or the child will feel as if they did something wrong.  In our schools there needs to be a zero tolerance to bullying so that everyone can understand this type of behavior is not acceptable. Programs centered on bullying need to be in place as well as incorporated into the teaching curriculum.  Children need to understand that being different is what makes us all unique and embrace it instead of attacking it.

   

Within our communities there also needs to be a place where children can go to and freely talk about what is happening to them. If they are in need of resources along with their families, we have to have them readily available. Rallies, summer fests, and other city programs during the summer should incorporate an anti-bullying campaign where the abused and abuser can get the help they need on the spot. If we as a school family and community address this issue as one of importance then we must handle it as such. We have to understand that not only the child being bullied is at risk, or the child doing the bullying is at risk, but as a whole we are all at risk. Often times the child who has been bullied grows up to become an aggressive, angry, possible abuser who will continue the cycle. Somewhere we have to intervene to save a child from that fate.

   

There have been certain network stations that have taken the responsibility to address the bullying issues, as well as various celebrities speaking out against it. The biggest message we can send to the person doing the bullying is we are not going to tolerate it and it is not acceptable. Taking small steps leads to big steps which lead to conversation and resolution.  It is all worth it if we can save a child from the fate of Tanya in the above story. We have to also embrace and help the person doing the bullying because more than likely they are in pain as well.  So, I am standing against bullying and I have a zero tolerance for it, do you?