April 29, 2013
Angela Duirden-Galbreth


…And a little child shall lead them (Isaiah 11:6).

The poet Langston Hughes asks, “What happens to a dream deferred? What happens to our lives when we have to postpone or abort our sincerest and deepest aspirations?” In so few words, Hughes eloquently attempts to answer this thought- provoking question with yet more questions. It is interesting to note that all of his prospective responses have negative consequences, making the poem painfully beautiful. Underlying anger and frustration seem to simmer and grow with each proposition. Of course, the dream that Hughes spoke of are not the images, thoughts, or visions that our mind experiences while asleep. It is our aspirations—the central part of who we are that gives us individual uniqueness. If aspirations are never realized or never given wings to fly, the consequences of deferment can be detrimental. In essence, Hughes metaphorically suggests that if a dream is not given the breath of life, it will dry up “like a raisin in the sun, fester like a running sore, stink like rotten meat, sag like a heavy load, then ultimately explode.” Perhaps, that is also the fate of the dreamer.

I’m sure on some level, we can all relate to this poem. At some point in our lives, there were dreams, hopes, and desires that we have placed on the back burner. Dreams which perhaps have been woven into the tapestry of our lives, disappearing into the seams of routine, and just waiting to be brought to fruition.

For me, fruition began when my five-year-old daughter, Sydney and I were sharing a conversation about what we want to be when we grow up. Her hopes for the future are quite fascinating. She has big plans of one day becoming a ‘superstar.’ She talked in great detail about singing on stage, and blowing kisses at her adoring fans. Watching her prance around and act out the whole scene gave my heart great joy; my cup positively runneth over. Now, I don’t know whether Sydney will ever achieve this status, but the beauty of this story is that she believes she can.

The spirit of a child is truly amazing. The possibility that children can’t become or do anything they dream of is inconceivable to them. To them, beyond the sky is the limit. Seeing my daughter so excited, so full of hope, and bursting with promise touched me in a way that frankly astonished me. The sparkle in her eyes gleamed so brightly until it literally captured my soul. This surreal moment mesmerized me. In what appeared to be an ordinary time of fun and games between mother and daughter, a very distinct feeling began forming inside of me. As I watched her, my very soul—my very essence—was stirred. An illumination, an awakening, happened in my spirit. The Spirit of the Lord was so intense within me, I could hardly contain myself. I continued to watch my daughter perform. I laughed and cheered, but all the while I was aware that something special was occurring from within. As Sydney finished her routine, she took her bow and turned to me, giving me a message that changed my life as well as what I believed about myself: “Mommy you can be a superstar, too, if you want to.” Simple in word and delivery, but it spoke to a part of me that for many years had lain desolate and dormant.

This may sound strange to others, but I knew Sydney’s high-pitched, squeaky voice resonated the voice of God. It’s truly amazing what can happen when God uses someone to speak directly to your issues. Sydney’s message impacted the very core of my heart, bypassing all self-doubts, insecurities, and feelings of insignificance. Her childlike words inspired me; they validated me. My daughter helped revive my dream, which had been tucked and locked away in the dusty, deep recesses of my mind. She resuscitated something in me I thought was dead.

When I learned I was pregnant with Sydney, things were touch-and-go. The enemy tried to steal her from me many times, but thanks to Jesus, she got away. She made her arrival into the world three weeks early. The very morning I gave birth to her, the Lord clearly said to me, “She will prophesy to the nation and the words He will give her to speak will transform lives.” Who knew it would begin with me? Through my wonderful daughter, God allowed me to see hope and faith in its purest, most fundamental state. Through Sydney, He let me know that I can believe again, that through Him all things are possible.

When I was a young girl, I dreamt of becoming a famous author. I wrote countless stories, plays and songs. I also endured insistent teasing from my older brother about their poor content or ridiculous titles. I didn’t let that bother me, though, because I knew in my heart they were all big hits; I was destined for greatness, or rather ‘superstardom.’ As with most people, through the course of time I let my dreams slip away, little by little, eventually abandoning them. But God, in His infinite wisdom, used my own daughter to lead me. In the midst of her guidance, my hopes were renewed, my passions rekindled; a fresh anointing washed over my soul. I was so inspired, I made a demand on my unfulfilled dreams. I sat down that same day and, through the abundance of spirit, I began to write.

I knew then that Sydney’s words had connected with the power of my authentic purpose. She had inspired me to new heights that I never would have reached on my own. Writing felt good, it felt so right, and I knew the beauty of storytelling was something I could no longer deny myself. Writing had the power to fill that empty void. It was a part of me, and although I had forsaken it, it had not forsaken me.

I had been stumbling through life in the dark, existing but not living. The longing in my heart was for something bigger, more than what I had. I vowed that day to leave a legacy, an inheritance for my children, and my children’s children. Before leaving this earth, I wanted to contribute something of relevance, something of importance with my life’s seal stamped on it.

Settling for less than what you deserve seems to be the norm for most people, accepting and tolerating ‘anything’ just to fill the unquenchable void. Why go for the gusto when mediocrity will do? Well, I could no longer settle. “I’m doing it!” I whispered to myself. “I’m going to fulfill my dreams—write books, plays, and movies—or die trying.” And, at age forty-four I courageously broke out of my cocoon, defied my fears, hushed the voices in my head, and threw caution to the wind, all from the inspiration of a five-year-old. Like Sydney, I don’t know if I will ever achieve the status of a ‘superstar,’ but I, too, believe I can. It’s never too late to learn to fly!

April 30, 2013
Nanette Buchanan

Most adults will agree, in an effort to be successful you must be willing to address three questions about yourself: where did you come from; where do you stand today; and where are you headed? Often when asked, “Where do you want to be in five or ten years?” one can quickly answer. We identify our goals and the textbook methods to reach them. Reality soon sets in and we simply choose another goal and head in a different direction. This avoidance of the obstacles in our path keep a great percentage of young adults scurrying until maturity tells them ……. Stop!

If we look back at our childhood rearing, our parents, family, and teachers were persistent in giving us direction. Most imagined us as successful adults, leaving the home, and raising our own children. Again, success was inevitable, and the steps seemed easy to follow. You graduated from high school, went to college, had an interview, and your life was neatly put in place if you followed the directions placed before you. Not many followed in their parents footsteps or checked the directions when swayed from the expected norm.

Today’s youth are no different, however the obstacles are enormous compared to thirty years ago. Parenting has changed, education for some has become an option, and college fees leave most going to school well beyond the four-year requirement. Job qualifications range from will train to over qualified but inexperienced. Those who are now retiring are older than the past years because the cost of living can’t be met on social security alone.

The teachings and ways of our parents alone can’t be given to our children as sound advice. Success must now have a solid foundation. Clarity, confusion, and choices must be where our youth springboard to a solid start in today’s society. Each of these should be discussed as children are attending school, their social activities, and while they prepare for their future.

There is nothing worse than a communication gap, lack of communication or no understanding at all when encouraging a child to succeed. At an early age they must understand there is no barrier between them and the adults they depend on. This open communication brings clarity and a sense of comfort. Expectations of behavior, good grades, sportsmanship, respect, etc. are understood when communicated.  The younger the child the better the communication; remember two way communication works best. You must be able to listen, hear, and convey a clear message. Your message as a parent, mentor or an influence must be clear because you want the best for them and expect the best from them. Embrace their failures with constructive criticism and realistic views for improvement. Understanding self-values, diligence in education, and being consistent in your support reinforces clarity and love.

As teenagers many are faced with peer pressure, coming to be their own, and separating the parental cord. Confusion between what they’ve been told by their parents and that which they are faced with daily becomes an immediate obstacle. Without a solid foundation, many stray from their home training to experiment with the temptations of the world. Once again, they must rely on the experiences presented through the stories of others, or take chances. Testing the waters, many teens drown trying to handle the world of an adult without the last part of the basics……. Choices.

Learning to accept responsibilities for one’s choices is one of the most difficult lessons in life. Being able to choose, regardless of the right and wrong of a situation, can only be done when young adults are clear. Being clear about their direction in life, they can avoid confusion and the pressures that are inevitable. 

Clarity, Confusion and Choices can determine the future for our youth. Our young adults deserve a fair chance at reaching their goals and celebrating their accomplishments. We owe them the platform where they can make mistakes, learn from the errors, and move on. However, we must be willing to guide them when they fall prey to the negatives, the naysayers, and despondent people who will continue to tug at them. Where will they be in five or ten years? When you look at your children, your teen, your young adult, are they clear or facing confusion? Have you told them they have a choice?

PURSUIT OF GREATNESS: Our Youth. Our World. Our Future.
By Sharon Stinson Gray, M.P.A

Saturday School. Suspension. Referrals. Expulsion.

What do these have in common? They coexist in our public school systems. They are ultimately defined and denoted as consequences, absent of counter incentives, for our youth and in particular our young urban African American youth, meted out by public school administrations across the United States of America.

This is an epidemic in one of the most basic forms. Locally. Socially. Worldwide.

Knowledge is power. Our youth is our future— these truths are without a doubt the essence and underlying foundation of our society as it relates to the future— our future, people of color. Our examination, from an educator’s point of view, proves there is a necessity, more so an urgency for intervention— from our communities, guardians, parents, churches, social workers, social groups, sororities, fraternities and the general public.

Education should exemplify our youths’ accomplishments, their rich achievements. It should embrace their unique and alluring creativity versus using a figurative tourniquet as a replacement, which ultimately has had horrific, often deadly consequences. This is not to say that public schools and administration are purposely or maliciously destroying our children and the education system; this is, rather, a careful examination of policy and methods used for behavior modification. This article is for the sole purpose of positive elucidation from our community so that solutions can be realized.

Positive reinforcement, as theorists confirm, is a powerful tool for our youth. On the flip side, studious students or students whom are mainstreamed for various special education needs should not be subjected to class disruptions and other deviant and unacceptable behavior. This, by all means, should constitute a consequence. The education process shall not be interrupted. Penalties are a necessity when extreme cases arises, but, as educators have examined and statistics continually prove, these penalties are less likely to reoccur when they are combated and supplemented with incentives and positive reinforcement. There are solutions. We are the solution.

All kids have a right to learn. Let us embrace this right and provide the most viable resources available for— our kids, our youth, our future. There are solutions. There are interventions. We stand as a community, iron-gripped and build vigorously from the ground up to make our world a better place for our future.

Below is a list of some intervention suggestions and other resources. It starts with education. It starts with caring.

* After school tutoring

* Sylvan Learning Centers

* Homework Hotline Educational Services, LLC

* School Notes

* Family Involvement with School Education

Our youth, our seeds shall be watered in order for them to flourish and blossom, most beautifully and uniquely. We shall groom, enhance and promote their greatness as we, the community, the adults, the educators, the learners, the parents, the churches, the providers, will continue energetically and enthusiastically to push forward relentlessly in the pursuit of greatness.

March 11, 2013
Charlotte Marshall Murray
Keeping our Children Safe is Paramount

Do you remember when it was fun to be a kid? As children we loved to play outside with our friends after school. Summer time was a big treat because there were endless ours we had to play all of our favorite games. Games such as tag, one, two three, red light/green light, hot bread and butter, and the infamous hide and go seek were all time favorites. We loved to get into the water plug on those extremely hot days and wet each other up. As the cars drove pass we sat on the water to make a sprinkler so that the passing car could get wet. Life was great. We felt safe as we wandered our neighborhood going on other blocks or streets if you called them to play with the other kids. Our parents did not have to worry too much about our safety because everyone looked out for each other. Communities were truly communities and it definitely was a village raising its children. Unfortunately things have drastically changed. Violence has plagued our communities and instead of hearing the sound of children playing and laughing, we hear the sound of silence.

Physical activity has been replaced with items such as cell phones, Xbox 360, PlayStation systems and hand held games. The days of children playing outside have become a distant memory. The reason for this change in behavior is the increase in violence on our streets. Children across this country are being hurt and even killed. Unthinkable acts of violence against our children have parents fearing for their safety. Because of this fear it is easier to keep children in the house and entertained by technological devices.  With the lack of physical activity comes a lot of other problems that the child has to face, one being overweight.

There is an epidemic in this country where we are seeing more of our children suffering from obesity than we have ever seen. This is a huge concern and problem that the first lady Michelle Obama has addressed on a national level but we have to come together on a local level to save our children from harm.

One of the biggest things we can do is bring back the old school way of how communities used to be. We have to report violence we see, be accountable for each other and help each other when needed. Children should be able to go outside and play and if they need to be protected for whatever reason by someone other than their parent then they should. We cannot continue with the thinking that “it’s not my child so I don’t care.” Everyone should care about the well-being and safety of every child that is reared and living in our neighborhoods. Our streets have to be safe for them to walk upon and play on. If they are not we fail them as adults because they look to us for guidance, protection, security and love.  There are too many sites in our neighborhoods that are made into floral memorials because the life of a child has been lost. We should not have to see teddy bears, balloons and candy to honor the memory of another slain child. We have to honor our children now and the way that we do that is making them feel safe and protected.  As citizens in our communities we have to make our streets safer for our children so that they too can have wonderful childhood memories of fun and not violence.

As parents, teachers and counselors, we spend most of our waking hours caring for our children. We dedicate ourselves to making sure that they are supplied with the proper knowledge and skills to carry them on throughout adulthood. Oftentimes these tasks are not as joyous or fulfilling as we hope for and seem more like a burden every day. The days that you remember as a child; playing outside with friends after finishing up homework or staying after school to practice for the talent show are long gone. It’s been replaced with teens that could care less about playing outside or even going to school. They rather spend time creating an uprising within the community by skipping school, stealing, doing drugs, etc. There are more children that are running away from home, truant, exhibiting aggressive behavior and filling up the jails and prisons rather than there are those eager to fill the classroom and obey their parents.

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Prov.13:24KJV

Have you ever sat down with your elders and listened to them talk about how times have changed? My grandmother would always say “in my day if I even thought about trying the things that today’s generation is getting away with, not only would momma and papa beat me until I roke like okra, but the whole community would be on me like white on rice.” I would laugh so hard until my stomach hurt when she would tell me that. Me being an adult now and observing how children carry themselves compared to when I was a child, I see that things are getting worse and what she said makes more sense now.

The media, low self-esteem, family issues, poverty and government intervention all play a significant role in the lives our children. Youth are being confronted with all sorts of distorted messages and ideations about life. The lack of stability in some children’s lives causes many to become what some consider unruly. In cases where there is an absence of a male figure in the home or even financial instability, it creates an atmosphere where children feel the need to fend for themselves. Maybe they even feel unwanted or unloved and acting out is the only way of getting the attention they crave for.

Chasten thy son while there is hope and let not thy soul spare for his crying. Prov.19:18KJV

Discipline seems like a thing of the past, when it was once enforced without a second thought. There is that saying “it takes a village to raise a child” and once upon a time that saying was put into action. Now with all of the legalities associated with disciplining children, a parent cannot correct their child’s behavior without fear of certain authorities intervening. Some parents rather deal with the issues in fear of losing their child, while others choose to wash their hands of the child and the problem.

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man I put away childish things. 1Corin. 13:11KJV

Children like to belong to something and when there is something that they are intrigued by they tend to follow. It could be a music artist on television; to an adult they may be clearly exhibiting ignorant behavior, but a child may want to be just like them regardless of what their parents think. Some teens start to abuse drugs and alcohol based on the same factors; maybe a song they have heard whose lyrics imply the fun of being negligent with drugs, has them wanting to try it out. It is important that we stay firm with children in our community. The need for more positive activities and role models for our children is needed now than ever before. Our children are creating a pit for themselves and we as parents, community leaders and even the law enforcement need to find ways to deter them from the negative behaviors they are mimicking.

Jail or prison is no place for a child and is not the new teen daycare. When we stop taking action, the law picks up where we leave off. It is not morally wrong to discipline your child, but sometimes being a good role model is not enough. Let’s find solutions to turn today’s youth into aspiring leaders of tomorrow.  Give the youth in your community something worth following after. Show them the right way in the beginning, so they will follow those principles throughout life.

Date: January 2013
Author:  JC Gardner
Title: Who’s Left in the Village?



It takes a Village to Raise a child is a popular phrase used to describe how the entire neighborhood has some sort of responsibility to lookout for the youth in that community.  I grew up in such a neighborhood where I had several “parents” who would not hesitate to call me out when I was out of line both to my face or to my parents’.  I would not dare talk back or “jump bad” while being chastised if I wanted to live to see another day! It was that deep-rooted respect that I had for adults and it was an unwritten code among the parents to keep each other informed of what we were doing. Having this kind of human security meant that you got away with little and at the same time, it kept you in check because you never knew who might be watching.


Sadly for many communities, the village concept has eroded. Most of these traditions have gone to the wind. People have become more secluded and less friendly. Invisible but noticeable barriers have been erected to keep folks out instead of inviting them in. 

The“mothers” of yesteryear are now grandmothers. A few of them may still be in a parenting role, as teenage births are still prevalent. But their influence has been diminished, maybe even shunned. If they did say something negative about your child, it probably would not be well received.  Who are they to say such a thing? We’d rather stay in the dark than be approached by a nosy neighbor all up in our business.  After all, our children are perfect and without fault – not!

There are many single mothers today. In the same vain, I’ve never met so many forty-year-old grandmothers. There are a number of single mothers still in high school. There has to be enormous pressure to not only succeed as a single parent, but just to make things work, for example, managing finances, maintaining gainful employment, and having a place to call home. Not having that strong father figure in the home leaves a void. In no means am I discrediting all of the valiant and successful single parent homes. Having two parents just makes it easier, especially where boys are concerned.
 
Times have definitely changed.  Kids used to be outside playing with each other, learning social skills, teamwork and fairness.  Now the television has taken over. I am a big fan of some video games. They can be fun and engaging, even educational. Some have fitness modules. But there are interactive games where you are able to do dangerous role playing. Many of these games have an age restrictions but let’s be real! I’ve seen that rule broken plenty of times. You are the criminal, the shooter, the
reckless driver.  And since this is a way for the child to express his/herself, when they get out in the real world, that“criminal minded” attitude stays with them without a filter.  And more than ever, kids have access to loaded guns and knives and are not hesitant to use them. It seems respect for adults and authority is at an all-time low. They’ll cuss out adults to their face. And we already know the situation with bullies.   

I’m not sure who is manning the fort these
days. The news recently showed where a parent drove her child to the bus stop so
she could fight another child. Is this the new village mother? 
Lord help us.

Date: 12/30/12
Name: Donnell Hicks
Title: Save Our Youth (Part II) 


Are our African-American youth natural born killers of the inner cities? Are they
foot soldiers for the drug man or are they silently crying out for someone to
take them by the hand and lead them to the promise land? Those are the questions along with plenty of other questions society is asking. What makes an African-American youth become criminals and victims of the prison systems?

There are plenty of integral factors that play a major role in how AA youths are centralized into incarceration. First, many AA youth are dealing with their drug infested neighborhood which plays a part in their lives. There are less community
outreach centers and less job opportunities which contribute greatly to a high
unemployment rate. The problem can start in their homes growing up with a single parent and without a positive male role model in their lives. In this case, a
youth will certainly rely on his/her peers for moral and social support and will look to drug dealers for complete guidance as father figures.

Second, society is filled with much more technology, media violence, and a self-destructive infatuation for name brand clothes. Those three enticements will absolutely lead a youth astray into the pit fall of incarceration. Given the socioeconomic status, the youth will try to do anything possible to have the “wants” not realizing the “wants” will only lead him/her down the road of destruction spending the rest of his/her life behind prison walls. African-Americans now constitute nearly one million of the 2.3 million incarcerated population. AA
youths are incarcerated at nearly six times the rate of whites. 

African-Americans represent 26% of juvenile arrests where 44% of youth are detained and 58% of the youth are admitted into juvenile detention centers of state prisons. 2.6 million AA report using an illicit drug 10 times more than whites. And AA youths are sent to prison for drug offenses at 10 times the rate of whites (Source: www.naacp.org). The statistics are very astonishing given the fact AA youths are the first to experience the small end of the stick. 

Thirdly, aggressive behavior a teen displays is another way he/she will become incarcerated. If a teen grows up in an abusive household, it is more than likely the teen will show some signs of aggressive behavior in school amongst his/her peers. 

Education is another important factor that has languished in the mind of teens. Adults have always stressed, “Education is a gateway to a better future.” But unfortunately, many youth who are attending college and get a college degree are unable to find a job at the end of graduation. Some youth become depressed and angry to the point that they turn to the life of crime. A recent trend is that AA youth have become enticed with how these famous rappers live their lives amongst the fancy cars, the big houses, and expensive brands.

Nonetheless, African-American youth especially young black males are heading down a path of destruction living in high crime ridden inner cities with fewer opportunities to showcase their talents. They lack good male role models to teach them and mold them into being good productive citizens. An AA youth will certainly trade in anything to be the product of the inner city just to get by. Nonetheless, we must SAVE OUR YOUTH.

December 17, 2012
Charlotte Marshall Templeman
The Littlest Victims, Our Children

With the horrific events of this past week in Newtown, Connecticut, namely the killing of twenty children and six adults, we as Americans, parents, neighbors and citizens ask the question, why?  Violence in our neighborhoods and schools has become too rampant and the scenes of sadness, destruction and pain have become too much to witness. We ask ourselves how do we as communities and a nation prevent such tragedies as this. As parents we become more fearful of sending our children to school because we wonder will they be safe. We wonder as we put them on the school bus and kiss them goodbye will we see them again.  It has become an all too often thought that one can never get used to. How do we protect our children?

There has been debate about gun control laws, mental illness and prayer in schools. Republicans, Democrats, Christians and the average American all have their own idea of what could have prevented the tragedy in Connecticut.  As a parent who has three children in school I do not know what could have prevented the killing of such innocence. I believe however, that all three issues that are currently up for debate have their own place in the prevention of such tragedies as the Newtown killings. When it comes to gun control laws I believe they need to be stricter as to who is allowed to purchase a firearm, especially a firearm meant for hunting. There should be an extensive background into the person life such as background checks through the FBI and local police. Some may think that is a violation of a person’s privacy but we as a country are experiencing too many senseless acts of violence with the choice of weapon being a gun.

When it comes to mental illness we have to begin to address the issue as if it was not taboo. Resources and insurance for those suffering from mental illness should be readily available as well as treatment. Families who know they have someone suffering from mental illness should ensure they are getting the help they need. If a person is not sure if their loved one is in fact suffering from mental illness then the family member needs to seek professional help to find out if that is the case. Being silent and embarrassed will not get the person who needs help any help. No one should be ashamed of what society or their family members will say if it is learned that a loved one is suffering from mental illness. Being proactive about getting help can mean the matter of saving that person and possibly others. I am not at all implying that everyone with mental illness is violent but we all know that treatment is the most important thing that they can receive to help themselves.

Prayer, too many people, is a pivotal part of their lives. It is the catalyst that gets them through rough times, unbearable times as well as the good times. Believing in a higher being and all the blessings that are bestowed on one is part of why people pray. Prayer truly changes things. At one time prayer was a part of the daily school day in many public schools. Prayer was done in the morning once children arrived to school. Once prayer was concluded then the day could begin.  Many believe that the climate of the school was much different because of prayer and if I had to comment I would agree. Prayer is such an important aspect of our daily lives whether it is done at home, in school or the workplace. We all know that there are many different religions and some people pray at different times of the day. Whatever religion one follows there should be time set aside for prayer each day.

Because we have not made God our focus anymore in this country, our homes, our schools and communities we are seeing more destruction of humanity. Whether you agree or not with prayer we all should agree that keeping our schools and children safe should be our priority. We should never have to turn on the television and see the senseless massacre of innocent people, especially children. Our children have to know that their homes as well as their schools are safe. As a country we have a lot to deal with and change in order to protect our children. Whatever your stand is on who or what is responsible for the violence in our schools we all should agree it needs to end today.  The change has to begin with us as individuals. Let’s make our world safe for our children. God bless the families and victims of Newtown, Connecticut. Let’s never forget.

Date:  11/21/2012
Writers Name:  Rosey Denise White
Title:   Lead Kids as Parents, not as Friends.


Old school, community parenting is what I am accustomed to.  Back in the day, parents not only assumed the title of “parent,” but also wore the crown of ownership willingly.  During previous times, parents served in multiple capacities.  They were leaders, teachers, and stewards for their children and those around them.    Kids were expected to treat every adult with the same respect they displayed to mom dad. Teachers and other relatives were included.  Even the neighbors were indirectly involved with the oversight of kids in the neighborhood.    

These days are quite different times, as the roles seem completely reversed.  No longer is the community involved with parenting duties and the parents themselves seem disinterested.   For some, parenting is no longer viewed as a responsibility; it has become a leisure activity.  We cannot expect learning to be the schools responsibility.  Parents are equal partners and are charged with the duty of teaching their children, instead of being their friends.  The average age of parents in urban communities is getting younger and younger.  This means the younger parents likely do not have the skill set to properly train their children in the first place.  Since they can’t teach them, many join their kids by behaving as their kid’s friends.

The lack of respect that kids show their parents is disturbing.  I’ve witnessed children throwing temper tantrums in grocery stores, having to be restrained by child-like leashes as if they were animals.  I know kids who physically abuse their parents and teenagers who talk back without retribution.  Adult children even find it acceptable to live in the parent’s home with their lover of choice.  None of this was allowed in my household.  For the casual observer, these trends are over-the-top.   These issues occur because no boundaries have been established.   Kids don’t know how to behave in the parent child relationship because no guidelines were communicated for them to follow.  

Some Parents don’t see the harm in being friends with their kids.  These friendly parents suggest this type of relationship enables them to better communicate with their children.  They believe kids are more apt to discuss their problems if they have an understanding adult to confide in where the least amount of structure is in place.  Others insist they would rather bad behavior be done at home so that they can protect their kids, rather than being done out in the streets.   No matter which perspective you side with, all are fruitless examples of poor parenting.    Followers are not effective leaders just like friendship is not a prudent form of parenting.

Personally, my friendship with my parents began during my adult life.  My parents were strict, demanding that my focus remain child-like as appropriate.  For years, even after I turned 21, it was still taboo for me to order a drink while dinning out with my father.  He deemed this “disrespectful” behavior.   “Children should not drink with parents,” he would often tell me.  Oddly enough, parents these days not only drink with their kids but use drugs and engage in sexual activities.  Not long ago, a Detroit mother was arrested for hosting a “sex party” with her teenage children and others as invited guest.  Something is terribly wrong with this picture.  We wonder as people, why the world has become the way it is. We seemingly forget that people can only behave as best as the tools they were given.   In the course of a child’s life, it is every parent’s duty to teach their kids how to become adults as well as effective contributors to society.  This cannot be achieved unless the foundation is put in place early in a child’s life.   Take time to teach children which way they should go, instead of wasting so much time being their friend.     

October 26, 2012
Charlotte Marshall Templeman
Save Our Children
   

Lately in the news there has been an influx of murders and crimes against children.  Whether it is national news or local news we have been hearing about the lives of our children being lost. No one knows why a person feels the need to hurt a child but as parents we have to try and protect our children as much as we can. Although there have been cases recently where the perpetrator of the crime against the child was done by the parent, most parents care for and love their child. It is important that we make our children aware of the dangers that lurk within our communities. They have to be aware and ready if faced with a situation that can be harmful to them. Having a plan and talking to your child could mean their life being saved.
   

The world is filled with many dangers waiting to be leashed on our children. Recently in the news in the Philadelphia area we learned of a 12 year old girl who was murdered by two teenage boys. She was riding a bike to a friend’s home when she was lured into their house. Their way of gaining her trust was knowing she had a love for bikes. Unbeknownst to her their intentions were bad and it led to her death. Although the murderers were teenagers and the victim more than likely did not feel any threat from them, we have to educate our children to be cautious of everyone. Unfortunately we live in a world where bad things are done by teenagers and adults and to protect our children’s safety they have to be aware.
   

Being safe from the dangers of the outside world is just one facet of trying to keep our children safe. Parents have to also be careful of the people they allow in their home around their children. So often children are hurt by people they know and trust. If a parent is a single parent they have to be as close to one hundred percent of knowing who they are dating before they allow them around their child. Too often we hear of cases where a child was molested, physically abused or even murdered by the partner of their mother or father. The safety and well – being of our children comes before any relationship that we may want to be in. It is imperative that we make our children our priority.
   

We know as parents we have no control over the world and what happens in it. However, by talking to our children and informing them of the world and its dangers makes us all prepared in the event they are faced with danger. There are no longer the days when we told our children not to talk to strangers. We have to also tell them to be aware of their surroundings when walking home from school or going out with friends. They have to be told not to enter someone’s house alone, preferably without adult supervision. In conjunction they have to be told if something does not feel right then it is not right. We have to tell our children to trust their instinct. Most importantly we as parents have to listen to our children. If they tell us something that happened at school, at church, at the recreation center or even at home, we have to listen. No one knows your child better than you so listening to them can mean the difference between keeping them safe or putting them in harm’s way. Too many of our children are dying. We have to save them and keep them as safe as possible. Educating them about the dangers that we all face is the beginning of keeping them safe.