June 11, 2012
Sheri Henry-Harrigan
Title: Marriage is Just a Piece of Paper
“I, Sheri , take you Jemel, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.” Those were the words that I said on Valentine’s Day 2012 at 10:05am when I married the love of my life. Many people repeat these words but end up in a divorce court in the next couple of days, months or years. Why do people get married only to divorce?
One of the many causes for the high divorce rate is finances. Each person has their own expectation about what the other should be doing. And when they aren’t there is a problem. Just because someone starts out with a good paying job doesn’t mean that they will have it in the long run. There then is the one income household. The bread winner may start to fill burdened because they are the only one holding down the household. Arguments and fights may ensue. People say things that they may regret later. All of this stress and drama causes people to go crazy. And instead of trying to figure out a solution to the problem they go their separate ways to start their lives brand new.
Cheating is another factor. However if the person was a cheater before the marriage then what makes a person think they wouldn’t do it after the wedding? Cheating is something that is a deal breaker for me. If there is no trust then there is no point in the relationship. Everyone is different though. Some feel that they can change a person. Well I disagree. The only person that can change a person is the person themselves. And if the person you marry cannot or won’t respect you then they are not the one to marry.
People keep asking me “How’s married life?” My answer is “the same as when we weren’t married.” People marry and then divorce because some believe marriage makes a relationship better. Marriage is just a contract between two individuals. What comes out of it depends on the two people. Once I got married I didn’t expect any drastic changes from my husband. He has made some major improvement but for the most part he is the same man that I met on December 12th 2010. I don’t get how people think that some type of magic is going to make their marriage so great and wonderful without any work. If a person isn’t willing to work with and for their partner then they should not get married.
We all have them. Family members and friends who we either love or hate from a distance. They are always in our business and want to tell us about our relationships. Well in order to have a good marriage keep those people out. Everyone that says they are happy for you are really not. When I got married instead of good things I heard a bunch of negative things. Some people said their congratulation’s but I knew they didn’t mean it. Friends and family will kill your marriage! The marriage is between you and your spouse. Keep everyone out of your marriage and concentrate on each other.
These are just a few types of issues that can create conflict to the point of divorce. As a married person I can say that it isn’t easy being married. Every fight that I have had with my husband was worth it. Through it all I know he is strong enough to stick to those vows that we made. I’m happily married and willing to do whatever it takes to stay that way.
Sheri Henry-Harrigan
Title: Marriage is Just a Piece of Paper
“I, Sheri , take you Jemel, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.” Those were the words that I said on Valentine’s Day 2012 at 10:05am when I married the love of my life. Many people repeat these words but end up in a divorce court in the next couple of days, months or years. Why do people get married only to divorce?
One of the many causes for the high divorce rate is finances. Each person has their own expectation about what the other should be doing. And when they aren’t there is a problem. Just because someone starts out with a good paying job doesn’t mean that they will have it in the long run. There then is the one income household. The bread winner may start to fill burdened because they are the only one holding down the household. Arguments and fights may ensue. People say things that they may regret later. All of this stress and drama causes people to go crazy. And instead of trying to figure out a solution to the problem they go their separate ways to start their lives brand new.
Cheating is another factor. However if the person was a cheater before the marriage then what makes a person think they wouldn’t do it after the wedding? Cheating is something that is a deal breaker for me. If there is no trust then there is no point in the relationship. Everyone is different though. Some feel that they can change a person. Well I disagree. The only person that can change a person is the person themselves. And if the person you marry cannot or won’t respect you then they are not the one to marry.
People keep asking me “How’s married life?” My answer is “the same as when we weren’t married.” People marry and then divorce because some believe marriage makes a relationship better. Marriage is just a contract between two individuals. What comes out of it depends on the two people. Once I got married I didn’t expect any drastic changes from my husband. He has made some major improvement but for the most part he is the same man that I met on December 12th 2010. I don’t get how people think that some type of magic is going to make their marriage so great and wonderful without any work. If a person isn’t willing to work with and for their partner then they should not get married.
We all have them. Family members and friends who we either love or hate from a distance. They are always in our business and want to tell us about our relationships. Well in order to have a good marriage keep those people out. Everyone that says they are happy for you are really not. When I got married instead of good things I heard a bunch of negative things. Some people said their congratulation’s but I knew they didn’t mean it. Friends and family will kill your marriage! The marriage is between you and your spouse. Keep everyone out of your marriage and concentrate on each other.
These are just a few types of issues that can create conflict to the point of divorce. As a married person I can say that it isn’t easy being married. Every fight that I have had with my husband was worth it. Through it all I know he is strong enough to stick to those vows that we made. I’m happily married and willing to do whatever it takes to stay that way.
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