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No longer a boy, now forever a man

1/14/2013

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01/14/13
Felecia Williams
Title: No longer a boy, now forever a man

 

“Buying tennis shoes and paying for the blow up jumper at your child’s birthday party does not make you a father; any more than wearing pants or having a deep voice makes you a man.”

A security guard directs the last civilian he will address for the night before clocking out for his shift. As he gets into his car to head home, he checks the clock on the dash and it shows 10:05pm.  He looks up in the rear view mirror and thinks to himself “just a little while longer.”  Shortly after arriving home, he decides to take his dog out for a quick walk; he had not been let out since earlier that morning. After returning inside, he quietly lies back on the leather sofa (that also doubles as his bed) and kicks off his heavy work boots. His feet are aching and in desperate need of a massage. His car broke down on him days before and he’s been walking everywhere he needs to go and it hasn’t been a short distance to say the least. Before shutting his eyes he checks the time on his cell and it shows 10:40pm. The cell phone light dims and he stares at his reflection on the screen and lets out a tired whisper saying “just a little longer.” The alarm is set to wake him in about 55 minutes, and then he will get ready to head off to his second job (a grave yard shift). Even though he is exhausted he knows that he must continue on. He’s a single father raising his 17 year old daughter whom is in her senior year of high school. Working 7 days a week, his breaks are only when the two jobs don’t coincide. Providing for his family (his daughter and his dog) are his motivation. All he knows is to take care of home no matter what the cost. Holding on to his faith in God, he knows that he will only have to endure all of these hardships just a little while longer.

To his family he is something like a knight in shining armor, protecting the princess in the castle while accompanied by his trusty steed. He proves himself brave, courteous, honorable and gallant. Women adore him, his family loves him, and his friends and co-workers trust him. Why? Because he’s standing up to be a father and living by those values he was taught as a boy on how to be a man.

When a boy becomes a man there are qualities that change in him and propel him into manhood. There are some who hold onto their immaturity and then there are those who I like to call “real men.” A real man knows the meaning of family and will work hard to take care of them no matter what the cost. A man is able to stand on his own two feet and make things happen, rather than waiting for someone to take care of them. Like things such as cooking, cleaning, working, etc. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with doing things for a man, but a real man will do it for himself first and appreciate it rather than expect it to be done.

A man is not afraid to take challenges head on and will always give forth as much effort possible by standing up for what’s right. He will encourage revelation of truth and always present himself as trustworthy; that’s who he is. An honest sincere man knows when it’s time to have fun and can handle business like no other. A real man is an excellent communicator and not afraid to put it all on the table.  If things need to be addressed; he will speak up. He is not the type to rule with an iron fist, he encourages feedback. Unlike some, he listens, discusses and works toward compromise; he wants what’s best for all. He does not base his actions on masculine or feminine, he sees people for who they are.

A man’s role is only to be a man and stay true to himself first; because that is the only way he will ever be true to anyone else. To be a man is more than how much money you possess or how many woman you can acquire, it’s about growing beyond these immature principles and gaining the backbone needed to maintain the role as the head. You ask; what makes a man a man? A real man makes himself!


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