Writer’s Name: 0rnitha Danielle
Title: Sistah’s Please Remove Your Mask
This article is about my sisters and the many masks that are worn. There are many expressions known to man - from smiling, frowning, and even being surprised. When we’re hurt by other people, we throw up a wall of defense. Well, it’s the same way when we see people. We place on a mask and if we trust them enough we’ll let them see who we are as time goes on.
Funny thing is, we all need to spice up our appearance as things start to go south as we age. Here is where we don’t allow ourselves to be transparent - with our issues. It’s almost as if we are some type of puppet on a string, depending on the person that is around. Same thing with our voice - depending who we are talking to, it changes. Don’t fake the funk, we’ve all done it.
Take for instance when our phone rings. We look at the caller ID, then we sigh… but we still answer trying to pretend we’re asleep. Or how about when a bill collector calls and immediately we say “she’s not here” or “you have the wrong number.” There goes that mask! You know how it is when certain friends come around and they start talking and as they talk we look for the first escape route to end or level the conversation.
Been there before myself until I decided to GET REAL with myself and look behind what I was trying to cover up. Looking into the mirror that is on the wall, without all the glam, we see the real person underneath it all. Riddle me this or riddle me that, the scars of shame, hurt, broken-heartedness, this list could continue - these scars are all invisible to the naked eye. Don’t get me wrong some scars can be visible too, but these are the ones that can keep others from getting close to us. Honestly, I want to believe it’s not done on purpose but we’ve come so used to it, it’s like picking out your outfit to wear to work. Just as you go through tons of clothes hanging in your closet, we do the same with the mask too.
It doesn’t have to match what we wear at all. It matches the moods we’re in. Now, as many of us take along extra pairs of shoes for those of my sistha’s that roll in the heels, we have some flats for the tired puppies of ours or we may even have a pair of socks. Not everyone is fake but we need to really look at our image and realize that we can’t keep living a life not willing to become transparent enough where we can experience real friendship and real love.
Learn how to stick and stay long enough so that some of the layers of the mask will become loose so it will start to come off. Back to the different issues or flaws we try to hide. Ask yourselves these questions. Who am I hiding from? Why am I hiding? What reason am I hiding? Write all of your answers down then look at yourself in the mirror again and say what did I do to become this way? Shockingly it will amaze you what you’ll discover once you get real with the REAL YOU!
One would want to think that we are afraid to know the truth about who we are and what we are for the most part. We have the right to be happy, without placing up this façade in order to get along with others. For far too long now we can miss out on some really great things because of the masks that are worn. In my previous writings I always talk about biblical things, if I had to speak about this in those terms, I could say even while wearing these masks the true fact is we can’t hide anything from GOD.
He is the one that knows everything about us, why we do, say, feel and act the way we do. Time to get it together and face ourselves head on in the mirror for a moment - even if it feels uncomfortable. There’s no other way to do it, but to do it. Let me share this. For a long time I was afraid to face the fact of who I was and what I was becoming, I believe it hit me somewhere around the time I turned 30ish.
That LIGHTBULB went off in my brain a few times. Almost like the story Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the real you is the doctor and the masked you would be the Mr. Hyde. See we have two sides of who we are and what we would allow to become exposed. There’s nothing wrong with being cautious, however not at the cost of others. Wearing these mask can hurt others even ourselves for that matter. Food for thought: I hear so many people saying these days that they are keeping it real or keeping it 100! In order for that to take place we all as black women have to start with self first by removing the mask before we can start asking others to remove theirs don’t you think?
How can one say anything to the other about what they’re doing when they’re too blind to see that their mask is clouding their own judgment of what’s real and not.
Just take some time and do some real soul searching and see what you come up with. The answers may just shock you. I’m asking all my sistahs to please remove the mask so that you can enjoy every part of what life has to offer you regarding friendships, jobs, romance, health, peace, and happiness. Until this takes place we miss out on so much. Staying in this state of being, we have become the “TRICK OR A TREAT.”
For far too long we have been deceived by so much negativity around us that we forget what is fictional to us and what is real. Think, if we walked around this world actually wearing a real mask. I’m sure most of us would pick on that pretty face, when deep on the inside we are a ship wrecked looking like a horror creature. I’m just saying, when we feel a certain way, we look as how we feel on the inside.
Please understand I’m not trying to bash anyone; this is just an observation of mine, and I decided to explore it further. You just received the inside scoop to the first part of recovery. Intervention 101! You can do it; the hardest part is not understanding and realizing that there is a mask that needs to be removed. I’m just saying!!